Do you think it is normal for a 16 year old to have been through this??

Question

My husbands little sister is 16 years old...Her parents divorced when she was 3, their mom re-married and had a baby with him 2 years later. The stepdad hit her and yelled at her all the time, he would put down her self-esteem by calling her fat, and ugly. She started cutting herself, drinking and smoking weed when she was 14, starting doing meth and was bulimic when she was 15. Lost her virginity at 15, was out getting drunk and had s*x with a 25 year old and then got arrested for being drunk that night at 15 And now she is 16 years old and pregnant after having s*x with 5 boys. She stopped the drugs and drinking and she is still with her boyfriend and she lives with him and his family now...

How can that happen to a girl so young? Wouldn't the parents realize what's going on and be in control of the situation? Even after getting arrested and grounded she still managed to drink do drugs and have s*x...And her mom seemed so shocked when they found out she was pregnant...

I got pregnant at 16, but I didn't go through as much c**p that she had to....Saddens me.

I mean what are the chances of her coming out of this a good person? Wouldn't all of that mess with her psychologically?

Answer 1

its never too late to change your life is she stopped doing drugs and drinking when she found out she was pregnant that is a good sign she sounds like she was just lost and it seems its mostly her moms fault but having someone who needs you and depends on you (baby) can make you want to be a better person

Answer 2

Well, since you kind of went through the same thing (pregnancy), why don't you talk to her.  Give her a heart-to-heart.  Let her know you're there.

As for the parents, the mother let the abuse go by, and the step-father obviously doesn't care, so what do you expect?

Answer 3

thats great she has you and your husband. that will help her get past all she has been through. i hear so much about parents who just dont care. and wonder what happened to their kids. i have to admit when you are a mom you cant be there 24/7. but if you teach them properly and listen to what they have to say you might have a chance. if you get her through school, even a ged that would help. she can even go to college and get a career medical assisting, dental hygienist only take about 9 months. something to have as a back up. she may need help with drug counseling to help her stay clean. anything you do good for her is great you are a blessing to her i am sure  good luck  

Answer 4

if you look around the whole world is full of this with teenage girls. it is a shame. but it is all over the place and most of them dont have anyone to help them get on the right path. she is lucky to have you to help her. tell her i said that. she has experienced a bad life. but it is over and in the past. and it is time to look to the future. with you helping her, i am sure she will be fine...  

Answer 5

its possible. since she has been abused physically and emotionally, it actually quite common for something like this to happen. she has mentally developed the idea that was given to her: thats shes ugly and fat and no one likes her and ect that she has no created that whole if i smoke, do drugs, ect it wont make a difference so ill do it anyways. as for her sleeping around, she does it mostly to feel attracted. if people are willing to sleep with her, then maybe it makes her feel attractive.she became bulimic because she was constantly told she was fat and ugly. for some reason most people have the idea that beauty is only seen in a size 0. it seems like everything shes done has been influenced by the fact that she has a really low self esteem(from the abuse) and is just looking for something to make her feel attractive, beautiful, loved, and wanted. her parents should have taken her to counseling or therapy to get over her abuse issues instead of grounding her or whatever. they have simply taken to long to realize what was going on and now its up to her to get help or not. if she wants help shell get it.

as for teenage pregnancy, its not an uncommon thing. accidents happen and that alright. it a big responsibility yes but accidents do happen. with all the things that she was doing she shouldnt have been so shocked. its up to her to keep the baby or not.

p.s. id she refuses to get help for her problems. may i suggest an intervention?

oh and keep in mind that abuse has a long term affect. she may seem find now but those scars arent healed. abuse has its way of sometimes effecting people in their later life. i extremely urge you guys to take her into counseling. also, there is always home studyng right. if she is uncomfortable with going to school pregant, thats always an option.

Answer 6

Oh holy ****, no!

Her family is unfit to be in her life. Sounds like they never really gave a d**n about her.

The good thing is that she'd got a nice family she's staying with. Sure there's a lot of hurt, but since she stopped the illegal activity, maybe this family can help keep her on track.

Answer 7

those parents didn't care about her in all their mess and didn't watch her and so therefore she knew they didnt' care and went about what she wanted to do with no one stopping her. its very sad and her chances of being a good girl are very nill. its very sad i can tell you but each of us takes a path and some of us dont' amount to much with nothign to begin with its horribel but that is life for some of us.

Answer 8

No she can be normal if she realize she is a survivor and doesn't fall into i am a victim and all i can be is a victim she has to be strong and ready to move her life into the future and leave the past behind her. If she does that she can have a great life but will need help getting started.