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Do you think it is ok for a spouse to go away overnight every few weeks?

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This has been going on for several months, always to help family, see a friend a couple of states away where we used to live, just to hang with old friends. It is about every few weeks, but I hate it. I can only get in touch with him overnight rarely. Other times, he calls me.

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  1. No. You should demand to go with him. It doesn't sound like he is being true to you. Sounds suspicious to me


  2. no i don't think it ok.  if it work related that different . but  just to hang out no if he does that all the time he is involve with someone else. you have to talk to him about it.  find out the truth he may be telling the truth.

  3. If he is going to visit or help family as he claims, then I would tell him you want to go to, after all, family is family. I could understand visiting friends every-now-and-then just to have a change of pace but not every three weeks or so. Aren't his friends your friends too? Don't they have wives too? Tell him you want to go along and stick to your guns.

  4. Yeah - if I did that the locks would be changed when I got home.



    I visit my sister out in Boston maybe twice a year - if that - overnight.  I call him when I get there so he doesn't worry (150 miles) and if I get there in the morning - I call to say goodnight and I love you in the evening.  

    Every couple of weeks?  That is not right.

  5. sounds like extra curricular activies to me.......

  6. Really.. it depends on how "serious" the relationship is and how long you have been together. If you live together and he doe's this there's soemthing that sounds strange to me about it. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and if he did that we'd most def. be OVER.

    Not saying that he's cheating. But he's def. going out and enjoying himself. Most guy's hate to be away from their girlfriends! You need to start going out and staying out one night and see how he feels about it!

  7. No he should be at home with him wife.

  8. It sounds odd to me but I have a suspicious nature.  I always want to be part of what the plans are because we spend so much of our time working and away from one another.  If he never asked me to go with, I would be hurt.  If it were my choice to stay home, I would feel better.  Not being able to get in touch with him is also troubling.  If he misses the old friends, relatives etc.  Why did you mover?  He needs to develop his life where you are and where you live now.  How does he expect to get to know people where you live if he's always gone?  I would say that this puts unnecessary strain on your marriage and you need to talk about it before things do get out of hand.  They are not going on a good path currently from the sound of things.

  9. no is not ok! i would think he has another wife to go to! or another family! talk to him to stop this or just leave him sweetie ! good luck

  10. I would say that its ok, granted that there is financial stability that would allow him to do this. AND that if youwanted to do the same, he would do so without batting an eye

  11. Depends on who you talk to but most marriage counselors suggest avoiding as much overnight apart time as possible. Look it up. They claim that it easily places a wedge between the couple and that leads to trouble. If you have to be away, for work or what not. Then communicate regularly and check in. trust me...

  12. Doesn't sound very good!  I think you should ask to come with him sometimes.  Tell him that you'd really like to get away for a change of scene and that it would be fun for the two of you to go.

    It isn't right that you can't get in touch with him.  Tell him either he'd better answer the phone or stop going.

  13. Would you feel differently about the situation if he was going away for work related reasons?

    I think its normal for couples/spouses to spend time apart. Maybe you could plan your own time away - go see your old friends and family?!


  14. One way to find out. Suggest you go with him next time.  

  15. Wrong wrong wrong wrong it's wrong.

  16. It is only acceptable if he is asking you to come along and you are saying no. If he is not inviting you-invite yourself. NExt time he says he is going tell him you are going with him. If he says no then something else is going on.  

  17. ask him if you could also go along with him.because you also would like to look up old friends..if he says know something else could be going on...

    and yes if a couple does love each other enough and trust each other enough it is ok to go away once in a while. like at most once or twice a year ....but not every few weeks..


  18. NO! It sounds like he's cheating on you. Ask to go with him and see if he stumbles over his words to persuade you not to go.

  19. Why not surprise him and go with him, or surprise him when he is there by dropping in.  That is the only way you will get over your worry about what he is doing.  Do not be surprised if it is what you think!

  20. If you have trust in your relationship, then I don't see any reason why it would be a problem

  21. no its not okay for a husband to leave his wife, next time demand that he take u also.and it sounds fishy that u can't contact him.

  22. Sounds kinky! Nah seriously that's normal, completely normal!

  23. He is cheating ,all the signs are there he has two lifes

  24. You must have had friends when you lived there as well.  Next time he says he is going on the trip, don't ask him tell him that you are going too.  If he starts to fuss say you are going and nothing will change your mind.  Take it from there after .

  25. Marriage/relationships aren't prison sentences, though they may seem that way sometimes. People need to have time when they are a singular person and not a couple or they can feel the loss of a part of themselves. Many people have to be away from home with their careers.

    Basically, it's do you trust him or do you not.

    It's always easier for someone to cheat when away from home. There are many telltale signs, a lot of people would prefer not to know. I think the suggestion to go along with him is a good one, then you can meet his friends, but mainly from the answerer's point of view for his reaction to your request to go along.

    You probably are worrying about nothing but it would do no harm to pose the question of going to, especially deciding to go with him at short notice so he has to think on his feet. If he has something to hide it will show.

  26. ok, it doesnt make much sense for you to be married and he doesn't automatically invite you to go with him at some point, even if it's just to see his family. sometimes you just wanna get away with your friends but every two weeks to see friends/family and you NEVER go?? h**l TO THA NAW!!! all the elements you are describing sound fishy. i agree with everyone else that you should suggest tagging along a couple of times and check out his response. then decide. because that doesnt make sense for him not to invite you ever and then he only calls YOU. no way. been there done that girl. if so drop him!

  27. Hello!!!! It's time to wake up! He's cheating on you. Of course he's not going to accept calls from you, he's with his girlfriend. That's why he calls you.

    Get smart! Each time he says he has to make one of his little trips, Don't ask, tell him you are going with him. He'll try to make some excuse for why you can't go. If he goes with out you, then follow him or hire a private detective. You can catch a cheater, you just have to want to.

  28. It really depends on the circumstances.  Is this something that he's always done?  Is it something new?  Are you ever invited to come along?  

    During the past several years I've taken the kids out of the house to visit family 2-3 weekends per month, and left my husband at home alone.  This was done because he returned to college for a career change and needed extra time to study during the weekends.  He wasn't able to accomplish as much when we were around.  It was hard for all of us, but it's something that was ultimately beneficial to us as a family.

    No circumstances are going to match that directly, but the reasons for your husband spending so much time out of town could be suspect.  Do you really believe that he is doing the things he states he is, or do you have concern that he's not being honest about where he is?  Have you told him that you'd like to go, or that you're uncomfortable with the amount of time he spends out of town?

    I'd start by letting him know that the frenquency of his trips is troubling to you and that you'd appreciate it if he could decrease (not necessarily stop) them in some way.  It would also be a good idea to take a couple of these trips with him.  If he's unwilling to compromise on the amount of time he spends away from home, or if he doesn't want you to come with him, then you might be looking at a more serious problem.  

  29. You should say that you would like to go too.  See the reaction and then decide what you think of it.

  30. If it is related to work it is ok or if he invites you to go along it is ok. Otherwise I don't like it.

  31. sounds like a booty call to me
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