Do you think it is ok for people to hold fundraisers to finance adopting a child?

Question

And would you personally give money to help someone pay for their adoption fees?

Answer 1

YES and YES.

---

Some of you folks need to get off your soapboxes there's nothing wrong with fundraising for a specific need.

---

How many of you buy magazines or girl scout cookies to fund private activities for other people's children?

---

http://www.temple-telegram.com/story/200...

http://www.sptimes.com/News/062001/news_...

http://www.thebirthsite.com/faq.html

---

Some one or two mentioned college expenses...  have you gone to college?  You DO know that you don't have to pay it ALL up front... righth?!?!?!  There are savings plans ans loans for college as well as scholarships.  :-)

Answer 2

I am going through th adoption process I do not plan to fundraise is it wrong I don't think so. Those you comparing it to having the money to raise a child. the last time I checked you did not have to hand the hospital 30,000 dollars to give birth. (and if you have medical insurance its far less)We can provide for our child and I have 18 years to save for college. but I can tell you it will be even harder to save for college not that we spent a ton of money on fertility treatments and then have to pay 30,000 or more for the adoption. If you don't agree with fundraising then don't give but if you ahve never been in the situation to judge is  wrong.

Answer 3

While I understand that adoption is expensive, it's one thing to approach your parents and ask them to help you out.  It's something else to have a fundraiser, which I think is in very questionable taste.  It's about as tacky as having a money tree at a baby shower or holding a fundraiser for your newborn baby's college fund.

Save your money, take out a second mortgage on your house, ask your parents for help.  But asking everyone you know to chip in is pretty tasteless.

Answer 4

I would buy a gift for a baby shower for a family expecting a new arrival.....homegrown or adopted.

It would be tacky for a couple to ask for cash to help cover expenses related to conceiving and bearing a child so I think it would be equally tacky to ask for assistance with adoption fees.  Geez, what's next?  Having a "help us cover our obstetrician's bill" parties??  Raffles to raise money for in vitro treatments??

As an adoptee, I would find it personally offensive to be asked to contribute cash towards someone's adoption fees.  It sounds too much like buying a child.

Answer 5

No.  If you want to adopt and raise a child I believe you should be able to afford it yourself.  Raising a child is expensive and if you can't even afford to adopt, most likely you can't afford to raise a child.

Answer 6

I was going to ask this question today, too! ;-)

I don't think that it is right for PAPs to have fundraisers to adopt children.  It's tacky, for one.  I think it's insulting to the child, too.  Why not get a PT job?

Does any adopted kid deserve to be parented by financially irresponsible adoptive parents?  I was, and in addition to all the other issues inherent in being raised by people not related to you, it sucks BIG time to have strapped parents.  

There's a lot LESS stress living with financial cushion: vacations, better schools, more opportunities.  I heard on the TODAY show this morning that people with more money and education (all other things being equal) live an average of six years longer than those in a lower class.  And if they can't come up with 15K now, how will they afford college (50-80K) in 18 years?

I also think most people would be disgusted seeing a pregnant woman having a 'fundraiser' so she could keep her child.  I doubt she'd be that successful at raising money.  People would just tell her to give her baby up for adoption if she couldn't afford to raise him, to people who could 'offer more'.

Ahhh, there's that double standard again!

Answer 7

It doesn't really cost anything to take a child out of foster care. If they can't handle that, then they don't know how to handle their money.

Answer 8

Fundraisers to me are about kids dying of cancer, burn victims and cures for diseases.  Nope, not parenting.  There is always foster care which costs next to nothing.

Answer 9

I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I would rather donate to a family who's child has cancer or something like that where there is a more desperate need for money.

Answer 10

Yes, I think it's okay. Keep in mind, that we're talking about a child here. If the child is in foster care, or a special needs child (which in most cases, the kid won't be adopted because of their medical issues however minor), or over seas, there is a large chance that they won't be adopted. I would want to help the child, and a way to do that would be to give money to the family so they can pay for the adoption without going into debt. If a family has been approved to adopt this child (meaning they've had a Home Study and the state reviews their finances, savings, future ambitions, character, etc.,) then I can't see why they can't fund raise in order to cover the large costs of adoption. Keep in mind as well that even though these costs are broken down, these are still large sums of money. As long as they aren't out right begging for money, I don't see anything wrong with that.

Hope this helps,

Skatergurljubulee

Answer 11

Yes its ok to do it. Its also ok not to donate if you dont want to.

I might give money if I knew the couple and thought they would be good parents.

Answer 12

It does strike me as tacky, but more in the way of grandstanding.  Like, Look at me!  I'm ADOPTING!  Aren't I special?  I just don't see the need to advertise it.  Adoption is an extremely personal experience and should be treated with reverence.

Besides, with the adoption tax credit, most APs can get some or all of the expenses reimbursed... so do they give back the money?

Answer 13

I wouldn't donate money to a person adopting any more than I would donate to pay for the birth of their own biological child.

Aside from maybe asking family members to help out (which I wouldn't do either), cashing in on the sympathies of others "because you're adopting" is just wrong to me.

Adoption is a personal/private family matter. Not a charity event.

Answer 14

I really do not think it's a good idea to help finance adoption for someone. It's not that I don't think help and generosity are important but, I feel that there's a level of committment that needs to come only from the parents. I could certainly be totally off base here but, I really do feel that when someone is pregnant they really are invested in the process. And with an adoption, one of the obvious ways that the parents are invested in the process is through money. It's unfortuante that adoption fees are so ridiculously high but, I don't feel that it's a good thing to give money to the family to allow them to adopt. I see absolutely nothing at all wrong with giving a generous present to the family once the baby is home -- I just don't think a child is something that should be fundraised for. It's not a moral issue (if it sounds like it is) it's a committment issue. I have personal experience with this in several different ways and i really feel strongly about it.

Answer 15

YES YES YES!

So many people completely take for granted the awesome opportunity to love, support and raise your child you were able to easily conceive.

So many of those who have adopted have tapped out savings to get pregnant artificially. Then there are those who know that they could love a child needing a home but don't have $20,000 - $30,000 of adoption fees required to bring a child home.

These caring and loving adoptive parents also know they could raise, love and support a child's expense every other parent who conceived will also face.

Think of the children who go to bed each night knowing there is no one person who will be with them to forever support them. Thank God you could make a family without the struggles that some face and support an adoptive family with the upfront costs of bringing that child home to lifelong security.(you never know, that family you helped create might someday be related to you by marriage!) http://www.adoptive-parenting.com

Answer 16

I personally think that this is a tricky question. I guess if I knew the person very very well (relative or best friend) then I would consider helping anyway I could. I dont think their is anything wrong with wanting to raise money to adopt. I am lucky enough to be able to have children of my own, and I am not sure how I would feel if I couldnt. I dont think its half as bad as advertising for a child. I think that is a desperate measure, and APs who do that, should get mental help.

I am in two minds about this, even after loads of thaught on it. I did answer the question you are refering to and I guess its a case of a friend wanting to help a friend. I dont think there is anything wrong or imoral about that.

Do you think its wrong to fundraise for charitys where kids are starving or being abused? There are celebs out there who are rolling in it, and most of them dont donate anything. I guess its the same principle. You think its wrong to fundraise for strangers, but people fundraise for charities. Are you sure that the charities are using that money to an advantage?

The question could go so much deeper.

I think its like having a natural child, you save up, you make sacrifices, you get a job, you do whats right. But whats so tacky and shamefull about friends helping out friends? nothing at all.

Answer 17

NO and absolutely  NOT for the second part.  not in a million years.

Answer 18

It's begging and it's undignified

Answer 19

No and No...And I would not donate to a family that was trying to conceive a child...What is the difference?

Answer 20

I think it is inappropriate unless it is to fund medical equipment to adopt a medically fragile child.  I wouldn't give a dime otherwise. If the couple can't afford to adopt or are too lazy to go  out and get a second job to pay for the adoption, they shouldn't be able to adopt.

Answer 21

NO I WOULD NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if they cant afford to even pay for the child then how the h**l do they think they are going to feed and take care of the child?

Answer 22

Yes It is a charitable event its helping a child or Children have a new home and family and the less money they have to pay themselves the more they will have to raise the child. i would personally give money for a good cause like this.

Answer 23

ok let me jump in here. Not trying to step on anyone's toes but give me  a break. We ARE having fundraisers to adopt a child. we have infertility issues and were never suppose to get pregnant to begin with. With God's help, we did but to our devastation our child was born stillborn on Sept 11 of all days!!!! So, we can not have any more children and we want a family so we choose to adopt. With all the bills from Isaac dying, there is no way we could afford just to run out and adopt a baby. So, being a teacher and loving children, it disgust me to see how many of you apparently don't have the heart to help people who can NOT have children. It is ok to fund raise for this and if you don't want to give you don't have to. However, there are people who do feel strongly about giving and they do and its a great help to those of us who don't just have $30,000 laying around. To those of you that agree with fund raising for adoption, check this out and pass along to your friends if you would like.

www.visitourmall.com/supportadoption

God Bless you all!!!!!

Answer 24

No.  No, I would not.  No, I think this is reprehensible.

Money and adoption are poor bed-fellows.

Answer 25

Nope.  There are lots of kids in foster care that need homes, and its free to adopt them.  If you can't afford the "expensive ones", and aren't willing to give a home to a child who NEEDS one, then don't adopt.  I'm not going to finance someone's desire to take someone else's baby unless it's with my taxes.

Answer 26

Personally, No I wouldn't. I understand that it is expensive to adopt a child-but it is also expensive to raise a child and send them to college etc.

I think if a couple wants to adopt the first thing they need to do is save the appropriate amount of money.

Answer 27

Sure!  If you have family and friends who can help out, why not?  I would give to teh family if I knew them and knew they'd be a good parent/s.

Answer 28

No and no.  How tacky.  If a person can't afford to do something, s/he ought not beg to the public for the money.  Either don't do that which one cannot afford, or wait until one can afford to do so.  Take out a personal loan or borrow from family.  Don't come begging the public.

Besides, if a person wants to adopt without the outrageous agency fees, s/he can contact the Department of Social Services about adopting a child in foster care.

Answer 29

No I would not, it cost a lot to have a baby naturally as well, & no one has fundraisers or helps pay for that.  Having a baby, adopted or not is a choice, it's not like you got an illness that you can't control.  I think having a fundraiser is tacky, but having a shower would be fine.