Do you think it is wrong to ask about medical bills when someone you love has recently come down with coma?

Question

Last week, my grandma suffered a hemorrhagic stroke and has been in a coma since. She still has not waken up yet. I am offended that some family members have started to ask about medical bills. Do you think it is appropriate to ask such questions at a time like this?

Answer 1

While it may seem inappropriate, it's actually important that someone address those issues right now. The money for her care is going to have to come from somewhere, and the sooner those details are discussed and solved the better it will be for everyone.

I know it's hard to have to listen to stuff like that, but trust me--someone has to work out the details, so it needs to be discussed.

Answer 2

It is perfectly appropriate, although having thyis conversation with Granny before she had her stroke would have been much better.

1 - Who is going to pay for her medical care?  If I were going to be expected to pay, I would be asking some really hard questions.

2 - To be blunt, are the bills being run up to save her life or to prolong the process of dying?

Answer 3

I think it's a valid concern. Trust me, grandma can't be offended by it, so you shouldn't really be either. Now if they're asking YOU to pay all the bills, then by all means, be offended, but if they are all trying to figure out how to pay for it...that's normal. They might be using it as a coping mechanism as well.

Answer 4

Well I think its something that needs to be discussed and someone has to bring it up. I think it is very appropriate..

~MeL~

Answer 5

The answerer above me makes a very valid point: are these bills going to just accumulate as your family prolongs the inevitable?

See what your family knows. Ask them what kind of neurological tests have been run and what their results indicate. If there is a chance she'll regain consciousness (and live well), it may be worth the financial output. These things are rarely an easy decision and focusing on the financial burden may be more desirable than possibly admitting the awful truth of the matter, if the prognosis is bleak.

I was in a very similar situation with my father. He suffered a PE (pulmonary embolism) which left him comatose. His tests revealed very grim findings. His EEG (electroencephalograph) was essentially flat (this measures brain activity and should look like constant spikes). The question was not about the medical bills but on a more pragmatic level, we asked ourselves if he would ever wake up. We all knew the answer based on his tests. He was also 59 and never wanted to be on a ventilator (he made this VERY clear on countless occasions).