Do you think it would inappropriate if....?

Question

i place my son for adoption with a family that lives very close to minneapolis. after the collapse of the bridge today, i would like to know if my son and everyone in their family is ok. we have an open adoption and communicate by letters monthly through the agency we used . do you think it would be inappropriate to call the agency tomarrow and have them check to see if everything is ok? i love knowing how safe and healthy my son is with his wonderful family and i'm so worried not knowing if they are safe. i just don't want to offend or step on anyone's toes by going to the agency (a small personal agency). i just don't want them to feel like their privacy is being invaded. what do you think?

Answer 1

I think the agency would be okay with you checking...it is nice that you are concerned.

Answer 2

I was just in Minneapolis today and as I was listening to the radio. They said that the red cross is going to put the names of the victims on their website. So if you know their names you could check there.

Answer 3

call the agency but not the family

Answer 4

Of course, call the agency!  You have a right to be reassured, unless you signed something to the contrary.  But simply in a moral sense, they could easily reassure you.

Answer 5

Its perfectly fine to call. as a matter a fact you can say you are a friend of the family and cant get in touch.

All you want to know is if they are ok.

Answer 6

Do you know the names of the people who adopted your son?

I asked because if it were a adoption where you have never met the prospective parents and they do not know your name, I guess it's not appropriate. When the names were not exchanged, I think there was expectation of privacy from both parties.

If you know the name, check the adoption papers and see if there is a clause that prevents you from contacting the parents. If there isn't, don't contact them directly. You should go to the agency first and ask them for help. They can tell you the limit of what you may know and can better help you.

It's admirable that you worry for both the parents and your baby. Although, just be careful because you don't want to come out as stalking.

good luck!

Answer 7

First, placing your child up for adoption was a very caring, loving thing for you to do.  Wanting to know that he and his family are safe is also very caring and loving.  It is absolutely appropriate for you to check with them to make sure everyone is ok.

If you know their names and their contact info, then I'd call them directly.  Just say, "Hi, I just wanted to make sure that you and [whatever the child's name is] are ok.  I'm thinking of you and hope that all your loved ones are safe."

Answer 8

well chances are that since the bridge collasped today, that Minneapolis has already had it's share of bad luck, and nothing bad will happen there for a while, or maybe that's just me being supersticious.

If you trust this family, then trust your son to them.  I'm sure they will do everything in their power to protect him on the off chance that anything else does happen.

Answer 9

I think it would be fine, especially because it's an open adoption. I think the parents would be touched that you care about them and him.

Answer 10

If you already communicate with them by letter, I don't see the harm if you want to find out if the family and the child are ok.  If it were me, I would do t.

Answer 11

I absolutely think it's okay.  I'm sure they would understand this exception to the normal time period of communication and be glad to know that you want to make sure they're okay.  

I hope all of your family members in Minneapolis are okay.  Please keep us updated.

Answer 12

I think if you call the agency, they can call the parents, and then you will feel secure without feeling like you are invading their privacy.

Answer 13

Go ahead & call the agency.  I doubt they'll see you caring as an invasion of privacy.  They'll see it for exactly what it is.  A caring birth mother who wants to know if the adoptive family (including the bio son) is safe after a tragedy.

Answer 14

that is a legitimate request.  the agency and family should understand that.

Answer 15

if i were you i would.  it shows you care

Answer 16

I agree with everyone who said to call the agency.  They should be able to contact the family for you and let you know that they are ok or not.  That would be the proper channels to follow!  :)  Take Care!

Answer 17

that's not inappropriate at all.

you just want to know if your son's alright.

you should do it.

Answer 18

Many of our out of state relatives called/emailed to make sure that we were ok, even though anyone close enough to us knows we were both working at the time. Call them!

Answer 19

I cant believe you havent done it already what r u waiting for pick up that phone and ring!!!!!

Answer 20

wow, very scary situation.

call the agency, they shouldn't mind (and should understand your concern) & it will put you at ease to know if he's ok.

it's cute you care & you are very lucky to have such an open adoption! that's such a neat experience that you let them in the room while he was being born! I hope everything is ok...

i sure hope you reach your brother soon too, good luck

Answer 21

No, I don't think it would be at all inappropriate.  It's perfectly natural to want to know if he and his parents are ok, I would want to do exactly the same thing in your shoes.  I think it would be fine to give them or the agency a quick call, it's just like checking on anybody you know who lives there, regardless of your relationship to them, you'd want to know if the people you knew were ok.

Good luck, and I'm sure they are absolutely fine.

Answer 22

I'm sure that would be fine they would probably be glad that you called to check. its not like you are asking personal info you just want to know if they are all ok.