Do you think its fair my mom read my text messages?

Question

me and my mom have had a really rocky relationship, and recently she took away my cellphone and read through my text messages. all i ask of her is to respect my privacy and my own private business. she freaked out at me because i sent a picture of myself in bra and underwear to my boyfriend of 3 months and she saw(i'm 16 by the way) I don't know what to do because now she lost all trust in me and thinks i'm a horrible person when really i have stopped smoking and i rarely ever drink or go to parties because i have a great and good boyfriend (who my mom now hates too). what do i do?!

Answer 1

i think  ur mother is right

Answer 2

Yes, it was fair; there are consequences to actions and your mom taking your phone and reading your text messages after she found out that you sent a picture of yourself in a bra and panties to your boyfriend is to be expected. Privacy and respect are earned; and your behavior is not earning you the right to either. I bet your mom does not think you are a horrible person; but she probably does worry that you do not have much self-respect....because drinking, smoking, and sending suggestive photos of yourself are not signs that you think very well of yourself.

Treat yourself with a bit of dignity and respect. Be patient as you work towards regaining your mom's trust. Learn to tolerate the consequences of breaking your parent's rules. You are young, and I bet you are resilient....you can handle paying the price for your poor choices. Things will get better with your mom when you can show her that you understand why she is upset and are able to make better choices.

Answer 3

You probably aren't going to like my answer, but I am speaking as a pretty experienced parent.

At 16 you are still a minor, and your mom has a lot of rights over you.

If I were your dad I would really freak at the picture you sent.  That isn't particularly smart of you.  It could have been worse--you could have been topless or nude, but even so, you should be a lot more discreet.

I think you might be making some progress, but you need to show your mom a lot more responsibility.  I doubt if your mom really thinks you're a horrible person but she probably thinks you are pretty irresponsible.

I have never asked my son or any of our kids (all of whom are now adults) for a cell phone so I could read text messages or look at a message history.  They never did anything which led me to do that.  But if I suspected they could be heading for trouble I might very well have done that.

Show your mom that you can think and act like a responsible adult and she will probably allow you much more freedom.  But this has to be a two-way street.

In two years you will be 18, and then it's a whole different story.

Answer 4

sounds like your mom only checked your text messages because she was worried about your general behavior.  you will not be rewarded for "quitting smoking"  just prove to your mom that you are a good kid, don't send your boyfriend pics of yourself in your underwear or anything less.  have you heard of people posting pics or videos as revenge, besides you are too young.  take your time and remember your mom is only looking out for you because she loves you.

Answer 5

No it isn't fair. if she is reading your messages she obviously does not trust you. its your phone get it hide it and take it away from her she has no right reading your privacy..

she does not TRUST YOU, trust is the element here.

Answer 6

I think your mom had every right to read your text messages.  I'm guessing she pays for your cell phone bill and therefore is paying for your text messages.

You are 16.  You are FAR too young to be sending pictures like that to anyone.  

No wonder your mom doesn't trust you.  You started smoking (who cares that you've stopped; it's illegal under 18) and you rarely drink?  You shouldn't be drinking at all!!!  You are a child.  Your mother is the adult and is trying to protect you from making any more stupid decisions.

If you don't want your mom reading your texts, get a job and pay the bill yourself.

Answer 7

She should respect you more.  That's rude.  My stepmom does it sometimes and I finally got her to stop by telling all her best girlfriends what she was doing.  They were pissed and made her stop XD.

Answer 8

i dont know if i can help you but try to take away from paries and stuff that made your mom not trust you any more. then earn her trust again and work from there

Answer 9

You want to have privacy then act responsibly. Sending pictures of yourself in your underwear to your bf at 16 is NOT it. Drinking at all is NOT it.  GROW UP A LITTLE if you want to be treated like an adult.

Answer 10

u werent on ur best behaviour..u shudnt hv given her a reason to check in the first place..

Answer 11

You're 16, you mom probably pays your cell bill and you probably live at home...guess what, she has the right to not only read your cell messages, but also to be upset over that picture.  Any good parent would have been upset.

You acted like a tramp and you got caught, if you want to be treated like an adult act like one.

Answer 12

well i dont see anything wrong... your mom did that too at your age.. i mean.. you are gringas, you girls do that stuff all the time... for free

i dont know why is she so impresed...

im just surprised you said you quit smoking, i was hopping for a "i quit crack" or something like it

Answer 13

You need to slowly earn back her trust by being responsible (not saying that you're not already!)

Sending that picture was not wrong at all. You need to confront her about reading your texts as that was no fair. Put one of those passwords on your inbox so she can't do it again.

xxxxx.

Answer mine? http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

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Answer 14

okay this is what you do you delete all your message and make shure it is permently and instead of text message jus ttalk to him and try having dinner with your boyfriend with your family

Answer 15

if you are young then yes but if you are a teen not really but i would just read them then delete them before my mom or dad finds out.