Do you think its wrong to make your adopted child learn to call you "mama?

Question

Im adopting when Im older, and am wondering is it wrong to make them call you "mama" and my future (when i get one) husband "daddy?" If so, what should I make them call us?

Answer 1

Adoptive parents *are* mom & dad.  They are not the biological parents, but they are, most definitely, in every other sense of the word, 'parents'.  

Answer 2

they should be allowed to call you whatever they want. probably they'll see you as their mama, so it's totally fine that they should call you that.

Answer 3

Depends realy. How old is this child? If you have been raising it since it was a baby than no not at all your its mother and thats fine. Giving birth isnt being a mother, raising and loving a child is. same for father or "daddy"

however if you adopted a child who already knew a different mother, maybe even a 3 or 4 year old you shouldnt force the child. maybe come up with a different motherly word, like mum or mommy ___ and use your name. im sure it would be hard for a child to switch mothers, but im also sure the child will love you just the same regardless of what it calls you!

Answer 4

No. If you adopt a child it's yours. So it should call you mama. I was adopted by my Mom's husband and I call him Dad and he didn't adopt me until I was 5 so if you are adopting a baby then that is what they will always think of you as and that is what you will be. Even if the child is older chances are they will want to call you mom. My Mom is a social worker and most of the kids on her case load call their foster parents mom or dad and some of them still see their biological parents.

Answer 5

my daughter is adopted and she calls me mama and my husband daddy when she is older she will know she is adopted.but we are her parents we care for her and love her she's our daughter even though I didn't give birth to her.

Answer 6

no its fine just when their older tell them that you're not their real mum

thell understand at that age

(when you think their reddy)

Answer 7

if the child is older and against it then yes...let them come into that in their own time. I'd say discuss options with the child and have them call you what that are comfortable with from a list of choices.

a baby will call you that anyway because you are all they will know.

Answer 8

My child calls us mommy and daddy - of course he knows he is adopted (well, will be) and he just accepted the fact and even asked us one day if he could call us that after he was no longer seeing his parents.  The whole time he was in foster care - he called us by our first names - now he doesn't even think twice about it.

Answer 9

It depends. Are they going to be raised as your natural children? My mom was adopted and she was not allowed to call her adopted mother mom. She still says she never really had a mom. So do you want your kids to feel that way, or have the most loving normal life possible?

Answer 10

Depends on the age of the child. An older child should be left to make their own decision on what to call you but an infant will accept calling you momma because they will not know any different.

Answer 11

You are their parent now, of course it's not wrong to want them to call you Mama. When you're adopting older children, though, it's unlikely that you're the only parents they remember. They probably won't want to call you Mama right off, and you shouldn't force them. It should be something you move toward. Tell them you'd love them to call you Mama when they're ready. Maybe you could compromise for a while by having them call you Mama Jane and Daddy Joe (insert real names).

Answer 12

You do not need to give birth to a child to be considered a mom. A mom is the person who cares for a child and is their "mother figure". A mom is someone who puts her child first, always.

You would not want to MAKE your child call you mom.  If they are comfortable with it, they will call you mom.  And it may not be right of the bat, it may take some time.  Be open to his or her feelings and boundaries.

Good Luck!

Answer 13

I think it depends on the age. If newborn or toddler then i think its fine. If he child is say 7 or eight no because they already know you are not their mom. Eventually they will probably call you mom anyway.

Answer 14

You shouldn't force them to. Show them love, support, and care continuously.  As time goes on, they would probably call you mom/dad.  

Answer 15

it depends if there really like deppressed i wouldnt push it, it depends on what they think about you

Answer 16

let them call you mama. but when they get older,

tell them that they are adopted, however, you still love them like you are their mother.

hope this helps.

Answer 17

No.  Thats absurd.   First of all, if the child was lets say 8, then okay, he grew up knowing you really arent his mother.  However, if you adopt a baby, its because you want him or her to lead a normal family life.   You, will be the mom....isnt that what you want to be for that child?  So no, its not wrong, when he/she is a baby, go ahead, and say you are the mommy.  When he gets older, you can say, you are his mommy, and you had the privilege of choosing him/her to be your child.  This way, as he gets older, he knows that he was adopted, but that you love him and care for him as any mother would.

It would be a mistake for you to let him call you by your real name, as then he will notice a difference and when its time for school, maybe unhealthy feelings would settle in...you are mom, you feed him, and take care of him.  Thats your title. Mom.  

Answer 18

Adoptive parents are Mom and Dad.  Just because you are an egg and sperm donor doesn't make you a Mom or Dad.  It takes the person that is there day in and day out, caring for and loving their child that makes a parent.

Answer 19

That all depends on the age of the child you are adopting. If you adopt an infant, than more than likely he/she will automatically consider you mommy and daddy. But if the child is slightly older and knows he/she has been adopted and you're not really his/her parents, than you should let them call you by your first names even, until they get used to the fact that you're now mom and dad and want to call you that.  

Answer 20

I think its absolutely fine but if you are going to adopt a child who is say six or seven then they obviosuly knwo that you arent their mother nad you need to respect that untill they feel comfortable enough to do it themselves. hope i helped!

Answer 21

My biological mother wouldn't let me call her mom until I was 9 years old!

I think if they want to. let them.

I don't see how its' wrong as you are more parents to them then anyone else.

My dad isn't my biological father but has been there for me since I was born and hated it when I stopped calling him dad, he's more of a father then my real one ever will be.

Answer 22

the baby will only know you as mama and daddy. it would be odd if they didn't call you that.

Answer 23

That depends obviously on how old they'll be when you adopt them, and whether you're going to tell them they're adopted early or not. Obviously if you're going to adopt them early, just give them a normal childhood and tell them to call you "mum and dad" or "mummy and daddy". Not "mama" because **** that makes me want to retch.

Answer 24

Never force them to. A baby will know you as their mom and call you that anyway. Some older kids will call you that to. My daughter Cami was adopted at almost age 3 and calls us mom and dad, always has. We now have adopted triplet infants, I'm sure they will call us mom and dad. if they don't, they don't.

Answer 25

I think personally yes, it is wrong because the child was either given up by his or her parent(s) or his or her parent(s) died at the birth or sometime  later on. A child's brain has certain memory' of their parents that we might find strange because we have forgotten them now. For instance, a mother who smelled of gingerbread would become the memory of 'mama' later on in the child's life when he or she smelled gingerbread. Personally, I believe that having the adopted child calling you your real name and your husbands real name would be best but this is all just my opinion.  

Answer 26

You should let your baby call you mama and your husband daddy. But when he or she is older you should tell her/him he/she is adopted.

Answer 27

Well I personally dont think that its wrong. But it really depends on the age that the child you are trying to adopt is. ie if the child is like a toddler thats perfectly fine. BUt if its like a teenager, they pretty much are most likely bitter and probably wont call you mom nd dad

Answer 28

YES THATS SOMETHING HE NEEDS TO DECIDE.ITS NOT RIGHT AT ALL.

Answer 29

I think it depends on the age of the child. If you plan to adopt a new born then they will naturally call you mama. If however the child is over say 7 I think it should be a choice of mom (or a similar title) or something you are both comfortable with. If you are adopting a young teen or p*****n maybe allowing them to call you by name is a bit more appropriate.

When my parents remarried we were all young teens and preteens and we called our steps by name. We were never comfortable calling them mom and dad.  

Answer 30

in no way is that wrong at all. if you adopted the child the child is yours to care for. he should call you mama...or whatever.  

Answer 31

No.

Even though you may not be the birth mother, you are technically the legal parent/guardian of the child.  So, it does make sense for them to call you Mom or their father Dad.  It's not like you hear adopted children children say: "Hey, legal parental units of mine, may we leave off to Disneyland?"