Do you think may be good reasons for NOT homeschooling? When and Why?

Question

I'm not sure about homeschooling being a good idea for ALL the kids or for ALL the parents. Maybe if you have had the experience or know someone who had, you can share it with me to take the right decision and to give good advice to others...

Would you homeschool a child who is depressed? Who is defiant and oppositional? Who has had (and may still have)behavioral problems? Who has had socialization problems? Who is shy? Who has developed computer games addiction? Who "hates" to read and learn? Who has problems concentrating?

And about the parents...would you recommend homeschooling to parents who are depressed? bi-polar? Who have had or are having communication and guiding behavioral problems with their children? Who are deorganized? Who have many activities and can't dedicate more than two hours/day to their kids? Who may need to work outside their home?.

I was thinking on all those factors :I though they would be a huge problem to overcome, and sometimes just wrong for both.

Answer 1

I would say the best child to home school is the one who you know can do the work but wont at school. Never home school a child who is struggling with any behavioral issues including shyness, social problems, or depression. and same thing with the parent. Some children in the same family would benefit from public school and others from home school. The best option is to find out if the school district has a different option. Some school districts have a school where home schooled children go to turn in their homework. They have a teacher and all the resources they just do all the work at home.

Answer 2

My next door neighbour is an example of someone who should not homeschool her kids.    She has no control over her kids whatsoever.   They run the entire household.

She can't even do homework with her second grader.  She has to take her to a Learning Centre to get someone else to help her because her daughter won't listen to her.  

That is an example of someone who should NOT homeschool.

PS kids (at least here) do not hate hs kids.  A lot of my kids friends go to ps.    I have two kids who beg me to homeschool them.

Answer 3

Actually a lot of parent's homeschool for just those reasons.  This way they can have an active part in their school and everyday lives.  As for social reasons I have known (I was one) a lot of public school children who don't know how to socialize (I was painfully shy when I was growing up and am much better now that I am older.).  I homeschool my boy's and am not very organized but it really does work for us and have found homeschooling them helps me to be a little more organized then I would have been.  As someone else has posted the only reason I can think of not to homeschool is if the parent doesn't want to.  Oh and I have also known some single parents that homeschool. This does have to be a decision for the parents to make and in the end they choose what is best for their children whatever that might be.

Answer 4

Wow, that is a long list of can not's.

Is there a list of can do's too? In my house the word I can't means we are either not trying, or won't try; we find neither is acceptable.

None of the above reasons given would be valid enough reasons to not home school.

Turning the question around, "would it be fair to hand of a child who has all these (behavior) problems to someone else, so they can deal with it; like a school teacher"?? How fair is that?

Children are the parents' sole responsibility.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and teach the children that not everything that may come their way is always "sweet", some things will be "bittersweet"...

People experience difficult situations, and have to deal with these many time throughout their life time; may it be temporary or not.

This may slow them down, or interfere with their daily life, but do they stop functioning, going to work, or stop taking care of their families, NO....I think not.

Any of these problems can affect people at some point in their lives, we deal with it, learn from it, and move on.

Actually these are great lessons for children to learn, so they can see how to develop good coping skills, and that problems big, and small are a normal part of living.

Being disorganized is not fatal, annoying but not fatal.

As for parents having too many activities that limits their time with the children, well that would fall under the category, "get your priorities straight" family comes first.

Those who need to work, or think they have too; single parents excluded; may revisit their budget, and spending habits, to see if they actually need to work or not.

If they have too, mom and dad can split shifts so one is at home with the children while the other works, change jobs, or work from home.

For every problem there is a solution; it just depends on, "do you want it"....

Answer 5

Of course you are right - not everyone is cut out for homeschooling.

In the case of the type of child you described, I think homeschooling could still be a good choice.  A child like that has many problems to deal with and overcome and needs a lot of guidance in order to do that.  Some parents feel that the public school system is a good place for a child like that -- others feel that they are better suited to cater to the needs of their own child.  For example, if a child has socialization problems and a computer games addiction, simply putting the kid in public school is not necessarily going to solve the problems.  The child could still be socially awkward and come home to play computer games instead of doing homework.  In a homeschool situation, of course the child could still be as socialized (part of a youth group, scouts, etc) and would still have to overcome any problems... and a homeschool parent would KNOW if a child wasn't doing schoolwork and was playing games instead, because they would see that the work was not completed!  And children who hate to read and learn exist in any schooling situation and need to overcome it no matter what... etc.

On the topic of the parents, though, you have some points.  Homeschooling parents have to be very dedicated and stable.  Although parents who work outside the home can still make great homeschooling parents, they do need to have a certain amount of time to dedicate to their children's schooling (although I would hope that ANY parents have more than two hours per day that they can spend with their kids).  But I have even known homeschool families where one parent has most of the traits listed above, but the other parent is very focused and makes an effective teacher.

It all depends on the situation.

Answer 6

yes. there are certain situations where homeschooling is not the right choice.

Answer 7

LOL

"Would you homeschool a child who is depressed? Who is defiant and oppositional? Who has had (and may still have)behavioral problems? Who has had socialization problems? Who is shy? Who has developed computer games addiction? Who "hates" to read and learn? Who has problems concentrating?"

You just described a combination of my son and daughter! My daughter has depression, social problems, shy, problems concentrating and my son is all the other things you mentioned. I homeschool and love it. They do better at home than they did in public school. The public school told me that my daughter was mentally retarded and would never learn! Proved them wrong! :P

Parents? I have depression issues, am disorganized, have many activities, find it hard to sometimes dedicate time to structured homeschooling (this is why we are very unstructured), and also I have a daycare and have also worked out of my home while homeschooling.

I love being a homeschool mom and my kids love it too! When I started, I knew nothing of homeschooling except it was what I had decided to take on. I worked fulltime and still we homeschooled. Both my kids loved it and now I am fortunate enough to stay at home and run a daycare while homeschooling. It's such a rewarding experience that I wouldn't change a thing!

Answer 8

Oh, homeschooling is definitely not for everybody!! I would hate to see negligent or abusive parents homeschool, those who still haven't managed to get caught (and there are plenty out there!). There are also a lot of parents who are just clueless when it comes to parenting and aren't willing to learn more about being a better parent; it'd be hard to be a good homeschooling parent if you aren't willing to learn. There are lots of other reasons to NOT homeschool.

Any of the instances you've listed for the kids, if they were my children, yes, I'd still homeschool them. You'd better believe I'd also be availing myself of any and all assistance and support I could find in some of the circumstances. But that's me. I know some great people who wouldn't be able to handle some of the issues you're talking about. Each parent would have to decide for themselves if it's something they could really take on and are willing to dedicate 100% to.

I would not recommend homeschooling to a depressed parent, nor to a bi-polar parent; I just can not see how it would be successful and think the parent needs to get a handle on their own life before they start tackling being full-time responsible for others. (I'm talking some serious depression, not mild issues.) I would not recommend homeschooling to parents who have issues with parenting, but I also would not simply say, "You really don't have what it takes to homeschool. Perhaps you should take a few parenting courses first." ;) I'd probably talk about common issues in homeschooling and kind of share different popular parenting resources among homeschoolers to influence them in a certain direction if they seemed to be heading down the homeschooling path. Disorganized--sure, why not. I've seen successful disorganized homeschool families. Only having 2 hours a day to their kids doesn't sound any different than when the kids are in school, so I don't have a problem with that. I know parents who homeschool and who work outside the home and it works quite well for them.

Answer 9

Of course it depends on what is best for the child and parents.  Personally, I think public school or even private school is great socialization to the real world.  Kids really do need to learn how to interact in that kind of setting.  If my child had learning issues or behavioral problems, I would start by supplementing their schooling at home, and only move to homeschooling as a last resort.  Parents do have to be parents and if your child needs extra help with school, then you take the time to make it happen.

I've never been a fan of homeschooling.  I think kids miss out on so much.  There are certainly situations where it can help tremendously, but overall I see homeschooling as an attempt to shelter children when what they need is to learn about the world and how to properly behave within it.

Answer 10

kids can't socialize with other children leading them not living LIFE the way it was meant to be. Public school kids hate homeschooled kids...(well all the kids at my school) because they have bad socializing skill. So unless you are okay with your child being hated fine. But overcome your overprotectivee-ness and let your child experience life the wat it was meant to be.

Answer 11

I have depression and I homeschool. I think there are things like desire, interest, and such that FAR outweigh small issues.

In fact, socialization, a hatred of learning.....many of the things you listed are reasons TO homeschool. A lot of times unhealthy socialization situations and a dislike for learning are created and fostered BY public schools. Homeschool can be a wonderful way to provide healthy and real socialization scenarios while getting the child out of the "classroom rut" that can make learning boring and task-like.

However, I agree, homeschool is NOT for everyone.

Answer 12

Homeschooling only works for those parents that really want to and want to make it work. Even the children that have mental and physical problems can be homeschooled successfully if the parent is willing to work with them.

Parents that have no interest in being with their children and have no interest in being the one to teach them what they need to know have no business in trying to homeschool. It is better left to someone that might give them the attention they need.

Answer 13

Well, if my child had all those issues, I think that would be the reason TO homeschool them. In general, public school teachers do not have the training to handle a child with all those issues, nor do they have the time. A child like that needs special attention and certainly needs an education tailored to them. Public school just wouldn't cut it.

As for the parents, each situation would be different. It would depend alot on the depth of depression, or the over commitment issues. Do you think that there are no public school teachers that deal with depression? Are none of them bi-polar? I know many of them who are over extended and have very little time for their own families let alone extra time for the whole class.

Homeschooling is not for all kids or families. It is an option for those who want it or need it; just as public school is.

Answer 14

You're points are well taken.

This is why there are MANY options in the world

Public school

Magnet school

Charter school

Parochial school

private school

boarding school

military school

prep school

homeschool

virtual school

unschooling

The idea is to find a system that works WHEN you have a special need.

NO BRICK school can deal with learning disorders.

They don't have the time or resources and you need them in a special program or you watch them get Ds and Fs and go no where in public or private school

There are pilot programs but these are far and few between

You may have to send your kid to Arizona to get special attention in such a pilot program.

The big problem with DELIQUENTS, anti-social and DON'T LIKE TO OPENS BOOKS AND LEARN students in Public Schools is they tend to hurt it for the other students, plain and simple.

YES these nasty kids WILL learn 10% just because they have to be there, but it will be pulling teeth and they will do everything they can to disrupt the class and keep the others from learning.

They will tell jokes, make spit balls, pull girls hair, spit on the floor, doodle, play arcade games on little portables.

For the 4-6 kids nearby THIS IS HURTING THEIR EDUACATION

And one has to put the majority over the minority

And there should be special schools for the jerks

Unfortunately, we call this a form of "racisim" and discrimination.

We pick on them because they are a jerk.

Tiered schools are illegal in many areas

Baby math, regular math, advanced math

No no

It picks on blacks, hispanics and favors the Asians, Persians and smarter white kids.

So we lump them all in together so you can have your socialization, which seems to be more important than an education!

And that is one of the reasons why the American school system is the laugh of the world.

Japanese businessmen WILL NOT send their kids to American Elementary or High Schools ONLY the colleges.

America is still the college leader because we keep Bush, Politics, CLinton, Orprah, Obama, the Courts  and the law makers away from it.

But, what we have been seeing since 1980 is no longer the "public schools" as the one and only way

We now have diversification and parental rights to try different ways of obtaining and education for their kids.

To be frank, this is how the Kings and Queens of the Rennesance did it.

Some sent their sons to the Abbies and Seminary schools to learn from the Catholic scholars and priests

Some brought in tutors, one for the boys and one for the girls.

Some apprenticed their kids

Before there was an Oxford or Eaton Kings had to see to their kids education and they chose from a variety of methods available to them and the kids had to live with this.

We are doing the same today.

Answer 15

For the child, those are all actually excellent reasons TO homeschool.  In a classroom school, unless you are lucky enough to have access to a school that specifically deals with those issues, things like that will run unchecked and likely never be solved.  If anything, they'll grow worse.

In a homeschool situation, though, the child and parent can work on those things together to overcome them.  It will be more difficult, but no one said that parenting is easy.  Parenting children with those issues will be difficult no matter what the educational situation is.

For the parents...if the homeschooling parent is clinically depressed or bi-polar, I wouldn't recommend it.  If it's just a matter of the parent hitting a bout of depression every once in a while...well, I don't know any adults that don't hit a bout every now and then.  

For parents who are having communication or behavioral problems with their child, that all depends - are they willing to buck up and finally become parents?  If so, homeschooling can be a great experience.  If not, again, I wouldn't recommend it unless the child is highly motivated and can self-teach.

A lot of people are disorganized...not all homeschools are highly structured.  Not all kids work well in a highly structured atmosphere.  That's more of a one-by-one situation.

Many people homeschool who work outside the home; because homeschooling is so flexible, that is completely possible.  Homeschooling doesn't have to take place during 9-3, M-F...it can take place anytime, anywhere.  It takes more planning and motivation on the part of the parent, but it can definitely be done.

For parents that are involved in lots of other activities...again, it all depends on the child and their needs.  If the activities are things like volunteer opportunities that the child can take part in, that can be a great learning opportunity.  If it's playing tennis and having drinks at the club...not so much.  It also depends on the age and needs of the child - a 5yo doesn't need several hours of formal schooling, and a high schooler will often be responsible for their own coursework.  The parent does need to be able to dedicate whatever time their child needs, but that is different in every family.

Yes, there are definitely times when homeschooling is not the right answer.  If a family is already unstable, homeschooling will likely be a nightmare.  If the parent is not committed to their child's education, the child is usually better off in school.  There are also chidren who honestly work and learn much better in the structure and competition of a classroom - for them, homeschooling may not be the right choice (unless college classes or co op classes are readily available).

Homeschooling is the right choice for our family, but I am one of the first to admit that it isn't the right choice for everyone.  That's why the choice is left up to the individual family - so they can make the right choice for themselves.

Answer 16

I know homeschoolers that deal with many of those issues and sometimes choose to homeschool precisely BECAUSE of those issues. A lot of families find it easier to deal with issues surrounding behaviour and mental health especially without school in the picture.

What's really required to homeschool is a family that's committed to each other...The same thing that so often makes formal schooling effective. People like to go on as if homeschooling is something only certain people in certain circumstances can do but it's simply not so. If you want to do it, you make it work...Just like most things in life.

The only things I can see that would exclude a family from homeschooling is if they didn't want to and that's a perfectly valid reason not to homeschool.