Do you think mean kids are just born mean or abused?

Question

I wonder what others think about this. I understand children have to be taught societal norms etc. But, the kids that are just plain mean, do you think they are products of abuse or neglect or do you think that is simply their disposition? We all know one, we often refer to them as (monsters, brats, etc.) What is your opinion on this?

Answer 1

I think it can be either or both. Not all kids who are mean have been abused and not all kids who are abused act mean. Sometimes kids are "mean" because they're behind emotionally or socially and simply haven't learned the social skills their peers have.

Answer 2

it's very simple they are the product of bad parenting weather it is because of abuse or neglected or the parent is just the type who lets there kid get away with what ever they want it all comes down to bad parenting

Answer 3

I don't know any mean kids. I see them on tv. But in person, I don't know any. The one that I knew as a child was neglected. She would do anything for attention, mostly negative.

Answer 4

Being abused can make children angry- it would make me angry. However, your statement is too broad.  There are a lot of children that are just naturally mean children.  The parents can be the greatest and nicest parents in the world, and their children can still me mean. And the reverse can happen- children can be wonderful, even when their parents are horrible. So we should not generalize. If we do that then every "mean" child would have social services going to their homes arresting their parents. It is not always the parents fault.

Answer 5

Some kids are just born that way, some are born that way because of mental illness usually in the family line, some turn mean by how they are raised, some could be saved but their parents are blind to the problems as they are happening.

Answer 6

No child is born mean unless they have a mental disorder.

If a child is acting out, there is a reason.

Answer 7

No child is born that way. Children learn what they live. They might be abused but not always. The parents set the example and maybe they don't care or are bullies themselves. I think the parents send the wrong messages or are mean themselves , especially if they think it's okay to be a bully or brat. They don't discipline , talk or spend enough time with their children and when this happens, children act out. Bullies don't usually get good positive attention at home and that's why they are like this. They will find attention somewhere........even if it's negative attention because it's better than no attention at all.

Answer 8

Some children are the spawn of Satan. Some children are absolutly horrible. It is almost like they come out of the womb with an attitude, and it gets worse as they get older.Some parents are so scared of the child that they let the little hellion get by with  everything and it makes the situation worse. This is not limited to boys, I know a little girl that is an absolute mess.

Answer 9

i don't believe chemical inbalance has anything to do with it or is it just a product of neglect or abuse. i think its  will to control. Born will.  Will to lead. whether it be for good or for anything else. Its not learned. some are herders and some are herds. They are herders. Pack leaders. the people that hang around them are always weak. stronge wills rule over weak wills. they are good leaders and bad. they are just bad apples. they built up a crude view of the world from they own personal observation.

Answer 10

I think some are born that way .. I think some are abused and it causes the anger problem.

You can have 2 kids born and raised under the same roof, one mean and one a perfect little angel; in that situation it's a personality trait the 'angry' child is born with. In some cases it can be from ADD or ADHD .. or even just a chemical imbalance.

It all depends on the kid.

But I think if a 'good kid' is abused it can quickly turn them into an 'angry' child.

Answer 11

I have to wonder if some just have the innate tendencies and the rest is lack of discipline. Scariest thing is to look into a six year old's eyes and see the potential for a sociopath. His eye's  were almost dead. I swear this kid was trying to kill my nephew.

Answer 12

I don't think every child that is mean has been abused, sometimes it may be just the opposite. Maybe mom and dad aren't disciplining enough and letting the child rule the roost so to speak. And yes, though some may disagree, I do think we are all born with our own special personalities and its important as parents that we encourage the good qualities and teach our children how to deal properly with more negative aspects of their personality.

Answer 13

i think thier whole personality depends on every little detail of how they were raised and the people and places they are around. every little thing can effect thier personality and it does NOT mean that its ALWAYS the parents fault.

it could be anything.

Answer 14

Sociopaths are usually born that way.  

Otherwise, i think kids who aren't given the attention and affection they require tend to act out.

And sometimes parents are too lazy to practice consistency when it  comes to discipline and enforcing good behavior.

I suppose there are thousands of reasons kids can be mean.  But then, i know plenty of adults who aren't so nice, either.

Answer 15

There are kids who are born just plain mean.  It has nothing to do with abuse or neglect. It's what they think they can get away with and the thrill of hurting others.

Answer 16

It could be both. The kid could have been abused and is taking his anger out on others or he could just be sadistic and a bully. Some people are just like that.

Answer 17

it totally goes both ways. actually i think mean kids are kids who don't get the proper discipline for acting out and tend to act out knowing they can get away with it, or if they don't feel like they get the attention they need. there are many reasons why kids act out in that manner some abuse, some want the attention and some do it because they can

Answer 18

NO ONE is born mean. i mean, we all have our problems, even as children, but i personally believe that no one is born mean. not "ONE" person.

Answer 19

I personally belive that about 95 percent are just victims of their environment, but the other 5 percent just have something wrong with them (like a hormonal imbalance.)

Answer 20

Unless they are born with a condition, I honestly think it's just the lack of good parenting skills now a days. Kids just don't listen, and then get pissy when their parents try to command respect, and then they get away with it. The lack of commitment to parent probably makes them angry as a way of crying out for attention as well.

Answer 21

everyone has the ability to be mean, even children. as parents we try our best to teach them to be kind. but as adults are not perfect, neither are children. they act in ways that are not always ideal. parenting has a lot to do with what our children become, however everyone is born with their own personality. someone who is born short tempered can be taught to overcome that (most of the time) or be taught to act out. keep in mind that everyone has their bad days and a child that seems just horrible when you see them could just be having a bad moment in time. give them a break, they are children after all. if you show them contempt, they learn contempt.

Answer 22

I think it is often a combination of the two. Many "mean" kids come from mean parents and are raised in the same destructive way.

Answer 23

Actually, it is proven medical fact that some traits in a child are hereditary. Such as anger, laziness, over reacting, being a follower, drug use etc. Even if biological parents are not around. I know of a set of adoptive twins that display personality traits of their birth parents even though they are in a good loving home. such things as bi-polar and ADD are genetic and certain personality traits are, as well.

As a parent, however, I know that how you deal with certain unfortunate traits greatly determine the outcome of how a child handles those traits.

Answer 24

it can be both but abused can do alot of it cause they think oh well my mom and dad did so and so to me so i will do so and so to other people

Answer 25

I honestly think that some people are born that way, or they are at least predisposed to it. I wonder if maybe there is some influence (chemical, trauma, etc) that causes something in the brain to go haywire.

I think it's something that can only be judged on a person to person basis and that it could work either way, because not all kids who are abused turn out mean or with some type of problem and not all kids who are given a comfortable upbringing manage to pull that through into their later years.

Answer 26

I see the nature vs nurture thing on this topic, 5% nature, 95% nurture.

Answer 27

Do not believe anyone who tells you children are just born mean. I'm a major in child development and I p.e.r.s.o.n.a.l.l.y.know that the way the child is brought up is who they will become. You bring up a child to be respectful and well mannered polite giving and loving and you will raise a beautiful child.

If parents are fighting, going through a divorce, allowed to watch power rangers and reenact scenes they will grow up to be mean physical and rude... Everything depends on the parents!

Answer 28

both

they could be mean because they feel like it and its "fun" or something and kids are like that ... as a parent they should teach their kid manners to act tho...

i really dont think that they are being abused, if they were they would be always in a crummy mood and stubborn to help xD

Answer 29

I think it's lack of discipline and lack of boundaries given by their parents.  It's also all in what is modeled in the home.  They are not born that way and they don't have to be abused to become that way.

Answer 30

I think that the main factor is what happens in the first three years of their life and how they are treated and what has been model to them, but sometimes it can be a child that was born with a less than perfect disposition. But again Children are mirror images of what they see, even adults will be come who they spend their most time with, its in our nature.

Answer 31

Most likely they are either:

1) Abused

2) In the company of people who are generally mean to others.

3) All of the above