Do you think monogamy is an intrinsic part of our human instinct?

Question

Or are we monogamous because of cultural and societal influences, therefore making monogamy "normal"?

What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

Monogamy is a compromise that we arrived at from living in cities (Close-quarters)...

Prior to city-dwelling, small-scale, nomadic Hunter/Gathering tribes roamed in search of resources, not unlike wolves, with a Male & Female leader (Alphas)...

They were the first to eat, mate, give birth, etc...

Answer 2

Biologically, I don't want to be monogamous.

Emotionally, I do.

It's a constant battle.

I don't see how it could be anything else, given that we are animals that struggle with so many of our appetites that were initially good (i.e. hunger for very fatty foods) but would now be more harmful than helpful.

Answer 3

I think monogamy is more secure for women and children, but not instinctual for men. My feelings and rationality lead me to monogamy, but not my instincts.

Answer 4

There is a powerful pair bond but that doesn't really translate to monogamy.  There are many cultures that practiced polygamy so it is probably purely cultural.

Answer 5

Our culture(s) is/are part of our biological evolution. We develop them to help our current society and identity to survive. We adapt to maintain the longevity of the species or society we are part of. Some of our cultural practices do not necessarily intertwine with 'instinctual biological behavior'. However, that's what makes humans different from other animals also, the fact that we have the ability to rationalize whether or not a particular instinct will impact our own survival. Monogamy does not threaten our own biological purpose to the point where it's inhibiting our survival instincts. Monogamy is normal if it is part of the society you live in. Survival instincts go beyond personal value, they extend to our culture and religious practices and our need to carry those on. We've proven that monogamy can work and not threaten those survival instincts, so it really is part of our personality as humans, and to those it's not a part of- well, I guess my advice would be to not get married, or do get married and start a saving account for a divorce lawyer.

Answer 6

Men are NATURALLY promiscuous. Women are naturally MONOGAMOUS. With exceptions that is basically true. Man has the need to spread his seed far and wide. Woman has the need for security and consistency.

Answer 7

I'd say we have a basic instinct in us to find, you know, that certain soul mate...of which there is only one which equals monogamy. Besides, I for example would like to spend a lot of time getting to know my partner, and I think I wouldn't be able to spend the same amount of time on another person.

Answer 8

its not normal and its immoral

Answer 9

There is nothing "natural" or "unnatural" about monogamy or polygamy.  Cultural practices are very much a part of our human nature--a very important aspect of our survival as a species; therefore, being a sociocultural practice does not make that practice any less "natural".  Many cultures do practice various forms of polygamy, which may, under particular conditions, provide a more stable environment for child rearing, as well as for the resource acquisition and distribution of the community as a whole.  

You could in fact make the argument that "monogamy" as practiced in the U.S. often results in fragile, isolated nuclear families more vulnerable to unpredictable circumstances, leading to an increasingly less stable family environment--you could argue that the monogamous and nuclear family as practiced in much of the U.S. represents a maladaptive, and nearly "unnatural", cultural practice.  For example, under these common conditions, a father hurt in a car accident would have a much greater negative impact on the raising of children than the same event would have on a more extended family, on a family with many more caregivers who rely less on the contributions of a single individual.  In addition, many cultures in which the practice of polygamy is more common also practice more community-oriented raising of children.

By strict definition, the U.S. is predominantly polygamous, practicing and accepting of serial polygamy, though we prefer to define ourselves as "monogamous".

Answer 10

Very simply, s*x feels good. Our instincts tell us this, and it is a motivation for us to have s*x as much as possible to procreate and ensure the survival of our species.

That doesnt mean I agree with poligamy.

Societal influences force us to suppress this instinct and stay with a single woman. This had some obvious benefits; the father helps raise the children, our population doesn't need to procreate to ensure survival, and STDs wont run rampant.

Good question though. Dang.

Answer 11

Good question.  In ancient times, when a lot of men died in war, there were more women in society, women were property and did not have many rights.  Overtime as our society evolved from an agricultural society where men worked the fields, women stayed inside and sowed, etc, But when machines were made, and women stopped being property, gained rights, they started using their skills and were permitted to use them and they started working too for income.  Culture thus changed.

Yes, polygammy is tied more to ancient cultures, and is antiquated today.  Polygamists in general have the women stay home with the kids, not in the work force.  Mormonism in Utah is a great example. Polygamy is as much a way of life as it is a religious or marital practice.  Monogamy also is a way of life and it is also a cultural force.

I make a darn good living as an accountant, and I hardly leave my computer.  Women can do the job every bit as well as me.  Our world is different.

Men are more sexual than women in the sense that they have some urge to pounce on any good looking woman that moves.  Women are more relationship oriented.  Most men in marriage stop getting laid because they have lost their ability to pursue and chase their spouse, to listen, talk, and be the emotional friend a woman is looking for. Once married, men often feel that they have "won" their wives, and chasing her heart is over.  (I love to chase my wife...s*x is more fun when we are close for example.)  I don't know how a polygamist can feel close to any of his wives, considering how jealous creatures women can be.  Having a 12 year old daughter shows me how emotional girls are with each other, I don't want to even think about the conflict in a polygamist home...jealousy between spouses, and I am sure each hubby was more turned on by one of the wives...

Monogamy is a social force.  Look at the movies, a lot of them have you cheering for a man and a woman to be a couple at the end.  Movies actually have us feeling that cheating is wrong, yet 70% of all married people cheat (statistics show that anyways.)

As long as women are not viewed as property, and our world keeps moving forward, women will prefer one husband, and they will not want to share a husband.  When women are man's equals, then they are equal's in the household and marriage as well.  This is a social force.  It will continue to be a social force.  And people will still cheat and get their freak on outside the marriage, and our society will still have 50% or more marriages ending in divorce due to the jealousy and fighting cheating and "open" marriages cause.  Divorce and cheating are not smiled upon by our world, but everyone understands it, and no one really looks down upon it enough for these trends to stop.  And christians cheat just as much, the only difference is they repent and move on...the rest of us just move on and forget the repentance...