Do you think monogamy is natural? Do you think it works?

Question

Do you think monogamy is natural? Do you think it works?

Answer 1

I think for humans monogomy works because of the function of the family/tribe in the success rate of raising offspring.  The more adults/extended family you have involved in the raising of a child, the higher the chances are that your gene pool moves on.

Answer 2

Biologically speaking it is very beneficial. Beneficial for the male to make sure his offspring make it and he is there to invest in them. Beneficial for the female to have help and protection. With both being there their offspring have a huge chance of surviving so their genes will pass on. Also human babies are more difficult to raise and live longer so it benefits the parents to help each other on child rearing. Its also beneficial socially because humans are very complex we need both parents to grow up healthy. I think it works if the relationship is a healthy one with two willing, respectful participants. Its also healthy for the partners to have a monogamious relationship mentally. What is better than to love and be loved in return?

Answer 3

Yes, I  believe  monogamy  is  natural .  A  friend  of  mine  once  told  me  that  men  are  polygamous,  but  I  don't  really  want  a  collection  of  dating  partners .  The  most  wonderful  thing  I  could  have  is  a  lifelong  relationship  with  one  woman .  First  I  decided  I  wanted  a  monogamouys  relationship  with  one  woman  for  life,  and  THEN  I  heard  all  this  baloney  about  "men  are  polygamous  !" .  If  polygamy  is  so natural,  why  are  there  so  many  diseases  around  ?  A  lot  of  men  want  to  live  like  President  Clinton  does,  but  we  all  know  he's  going  to  die  of  AIDS .  The  fact  is,  when  people  are  single  and  unattached,  all  they  can  think  of  is  dating .  When  people  are  dating,  all  they  can  think  of  is  getting  into  a  serious  relationship .  When  people  are  in  a  serious  relationship,  all  they  can  think  of  is  getting  married .  I  believe  people  should  spend  the  years  between  fifteen  and  twenty  --  five  collecting  dating  partners,  and  nobody,  but  NOBODY,  does  that .  If  monogamy  wasn't  natural,  people  wouldn't  want  serious  relationships  so  much  .

Answer 4

Keep in mind that nature is the opposite of culture. Monogamy itself isn't necessarily in our nature as human beings (it's possible but very difficult to determine). However, monogamy is part of most human culture, and adhering to culture is a "natural" result of socialization.

Monogamy actually means being with the SAME person for an entire lifetime. What our culture engages in now is more appropriately called "serial monogamy". We are with one person at a time. So if you want to get technical about it, real monogamy hardly even exists anymore! It's not a cultural imposition so it's not adhered to. That might be a clue over whether or not "serial monogamy" is natural, too.

To determine if human beings would be monogamous without culture (and therefor consider monogamy natural), we would have to strip away all the "meaning" behind it. Without cultural ideals of soulmates, fate, morality, phrases you hear over and over in the movies ("we were meant to be together"), monogamy starts to look like an entirely different concept. What I'm trying to say is that monogamy itself is a cultural construction; it's irrelevant whether or not we would only be with one person in nature (although I think we probably wouldn't be). But like it or not, it is very difficult to deviate from such a strong cultural standard without repercussions. Only those who have a strong personal tendancy are going to live a lifestyle contrary to their culture - that can include polyamorists in our culture or monogamists in polyamorous cultures.

I think monogamy works for some people, but definitely not everyone. I know a few polyamorous people, and to them, it just doesn't make sense to expect one person to fulfill every need you have. So polyamory works for them - they give all persons involved full disclosure, everybody fully understands what is going on and agrees to it, and they enjoy each other's love. Monogamy works for me because I can't handle the thought of another woman being with my boyfriend. But I don't pretend that this is a moral stance, and polyamorists would be right to consider it selfish of me.

The only time monogamy (or polyamory!) does NOT work is when any kind of deception is involved. If one person thinks they are in a monogamous relationship but is cheated on and deceived, consequences should follow. But that situation is not monogamy. And it's not how polyamourists operate either. Whether with one person or more, people just need mutually beneficial and honest relationships - that's what works! The rest is a preference of the individual.

Answer 5

Yes. It is my beleif that people have a soul mate.

Answer 6

WOW,...good question. My personal opinion is "why not?" Swans and other animals exhibit monogamous behavior and I don't think they're copying from us. It works if you want it to.

Answer 7

no and no

Answer 8

I don't think monogamy is natural. I think it's something that has been conditioned upon us over hundreds and even thousands of years.

It's a noble concept, but I don't think it's natural, by any means. At least, not in humans.

Some species of birds - the Canada Goose for example - mate for life, so it IS possible.

Answer 9

Even in cultures that are polyamorous, there is still preference for one mate for life. It's not a social construct for those who choose the opposite.

Ever read the book about "Nisa" by Marjorie Shostak? She did a longitudinal study about the polyamorous culture of the Kung women. Based on her findings, even wives of the polyamorous relationship get jealous of each other, so do the husbands..

For them, polyarmory was socially constructed, yet they still didn't enjoy that kind of marital arrangement. Some of them opted not to.

Non-monogamy is also a social construct if we think about it. Therefore, it depends on the individual person.. we can't just say monogamy is a social construct as 'fact,' when sociological studies don't always prove to be 'fact' in determining human behavior. They don't always agree. One would have to question the perspective of the sociological findings (whether or not it is based on structural functionalist in nature). People are too complex to be lumped into pseudo-scientifical terms. There are always opposing views.

Besides, if monogamy is about trust, don't we all naturally want that? Isn't that we desire?

Answer 10

In the grand scheme of things monogamy isn't natural; it is a society driven more that goes against the way nature made us, especially men, whose innate goal is to spread his seed around as much as possible. In this day and age monogamy is a state of mind, and in order to be monogamous both parties involved need to choose it as a lifelong commitment and then stick to it. It is all in the way you project yourself; if you are looking to cheat on your SO, then it is the vibe you send out. If you send out the "I'm not looking" vibe, then that is how people perceive you.

Answer 11

It goes against our basic nature but it can work if we use fantasy as a supplement.

Answer 12

yeah i think so

but its not something that is easy

you just need to find someone who you can actually stick it out with and who isnt willing to just quit or cheat

Answer 13

Depends on the person..

According to cognitive behavior therapist's findings- children who had one caretaker tend to grow up being monogamous. Children who had several caretakers would beg to differ. I don't know how accurate these findings are, but I DO know that the "First 5" years of life are critical to development.

When we're talking about monogamy as being "natural" in terms of biology, I would say so. I don't buy into the "spreading your seeds" around Darwanistic c**p. That whole philosophy is just based on theoretical speculation (among other things)/rhetoric.

When we look at actual FACTS, we have to ask: If it's in our biology to be non-monogamous, then how come we have so many vinerial STDs?? AIDS, HEP B, HPV, HSV, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea?? FACT is- STDs are there for a reason. Perhaps biologically speaking, it is in OUR natural state to be "monogamous."

Besides, NOT all creatures in the animal kingdom are non-monogamous.

Answer 14

Of course it is, look at everything around you, for everything there is just one opposite.  Man - Woman, Good - Bad, Hot - Cold,  If you believe in God, or believe in just natural ways, there is just one opposite for everything.  Monogamy is just plain natural period.  For believers, note that god only made one Adam, one Eve, he didn't make one Adam and five Eves, or Five Adams and one Eve.  Monogamy is balance, the problem comes, and problems do come when you break the balance of what is natural.  Just examine the results when the balance is broken, sadness and hurt, and the your world is in disarray.  Black n White, you are the most happy when you have just one partner.

Answer 15

It is natural...its hard for many because monogamy is degraded in the media and you see men and women cheating consistently therefore giving monogamy a bad name.  Monogamous relationships are possible and not really as hard as people make it out to be.  Committment is the word, as is loyalty, honesty, respect etc...  But hey you can only hope and wish...