Do you think my 3yr old s behavior could be stemming from me?

Question

I am a very vocal person and when she pushes me to a certian point I often raise my voice to try to get her attention and yes I do spank her! I put her in time out too. And none of the above seems to have a lasting effect on her. So what now? Where do I go from here?

Answer 1

Wow, I bet you would be really happy and obey if your husband hit you every time you did not understand something or did not agree with him...........children are no different, and all though there is not law against spanking, it is still abuse.

You stop yelling at her, since it really doesn't work on kids. they just learn to ignore you. It does damage their self esteem since you are the person they trust the most and children see themselves through your eyes. If you yell all the time, the child thinks that he/she is no good at the core, and will carry the low self esteem thing through their adult life, without really knowing why.

Time outs are fine, but at the end of time out you need to explain to your child why he/she was punished and what can be done to avoid the same situation next time around. Also, thank your child for appologizing and give hugs and kisses. Punishment without explanation will not produce long lasting results, and again they will think that you are unfir and just don't really love them.

Spanking is a big no no, and DOES NOT produce any results but ager and resentment, that you won't really see untill the teen years, when your "behaved" kids rebell and start hate you with passion, and you throw your hands in the air and ask "where did I go wrong that my child hates me so much" Everything is cause and effect.

You are a parent, thus a teacher not their master/punisher. So be patient, and teach with LOVE!.

Answer 2

she knows what pushes your buttons and she pushes until you reach your breaking point...you can be loud..but the spanking isnt teaching your child anything...time out doesnt really work either...start having her do some chores or go in her room and take everything she likes away from her to get it back she has to have a good day...dont deviate from this...she will stop..i had this same issue with my son when he was a toddler...he stopped when i stopped...

Answer 3

She is three her job is to test limits.  At this age there is not suppose to be a lasting effect.   What you have here is a normal three year old.  If telling a child no once stopped the behavior forever why would they need parents.

Answer 4

Children live what they see. You act out, she acts out. Try a whole different approach. Reality is all perception. When children are yelled at everyday... that is normal to them. That is why it is having no lasting effect. I know its old and dated but it still rings true here... COUNT TO TEN! Losing your temper just makes it that much easier for your daughter to also lose hers.

Answer 5

you need to pick one thing for discipline. And stay consistent. Your baby doesn't know what to expect when she does something naughty. Time outs work wonders for me.