Do you think my biological mother is thinking of me on my birthday?

Question

Just curious for anyone who wishes to comment... I turn 36 years old tomorrow (June 30th) and I was given up for adoption at birth. I just sometimes wonder if my biological mother ever thinks about me on my birthday....I think of her every year.... I just wondered if all these years ever made a difference. What do you think?

Answer 1

Hi! Happy Birthday!

This question makes me cry every time it comes up on this board. This is something no one should ever have to wonder.

I am a First Mother and have several First Mother/Father friends. NONE of us have forgotten our children. Most of us think of our children DAILY. Please see this question and its answers, I think they might ease your mind a little bit.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

I wish I could tell you for sure whether your mother remembers you on your birthday, but my guess is she remembers you often. She carried you in her body and our bodies remind us. She thought enough of you to want to give you something better and minds remember. She loved you in her heart before you were born and hearts make it impossible to forget.

Unless your mother has lost her body, her mind and/or her heart - I'd be willing to bet that she thinks of you not just on your birthday and YOU are the biggest loss she has ever endured.

For me, birthdays are the hardest. I light a candle each birthday and let it burn all the way down. I make a wish as I blow it out that someday we can celebrate together. My family do as well. We have a sort of "day of mourning" on birthdays and talk about it often. Sometimes it hurts so much I can't get out of bed. I keep photos around my house and in my wallet - so does my family and my ex. We have NEVER forgotten, and won't allow ourselves to.

I hope that you have a Happy Birthday and that some of the answers here give you comfort. I hope that you will be able to hear the words Happy Birthday from your First Mother's own lips and she can tell you herself that she never forgot.

Answer 2

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  I am certain that she thinks of you EVERYDAY and not just the day you were born.  Maybe a little more that day...but I would like to believe that she thinks of you everyday!

Addition: Avagail - I am glad that adoption is not against the law...cause if it were my adopted (soon to be) son would be living in foster care his entire life and would be wondering how come he doesn't have a family - biological or adopted!

Answer 3

I would bet that she does think of you on your birthday and Christmas and other times.

Watch the British movie, "Secrets and Lies".

It is a beautiful story of a mother and daughter reunited.

I watch it every time it's on cable.

Have you tried to find your mother?

It's possible that she is thinking of you, but feels too guilty to contact you.

You might be surprised how much healing can occur, even if a reunion doesn't work out the way you want.

I healed a lot of stuff with my mother, even after she died.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Happy Birthday from a fella who will turn 37 in about two weeks!  There is no doubt in my mind that your biological mother has spent more days than just your birthday thinking about you for the last 36 years.  She has probably wondered innumerable times whatever became of you and hoped dearly for your safety and upbringing.  

If it plagues your thoughts, perhaps you should consider finding her, just to introduce yourself.  Keep a positive outlook in the consideration of asking why she had to give you up, most do it because they know you will have a better life than being raised in the conditions in which you were conceived.

Answer 5

Happy Birthday.   She probably does think of you.  Mother's don't forget their children.

Answer 6

i guarantee you she does...

Answer 7

I am 30 and I found my bio mom 2 years ago.  She said she has thought about me every year on my b-day.  I didn't ask her about it, she just volunteered the info when she called my this last b-day.  I am SURE your mom thinks of you all the time, not just on your b-day!

Answer 8

Of course she does. She thinks of you everyday as well. Are you a mom? If you are, you know a mother's love NEVER fades, not even after 36 years!

Answer 9

Happy birthday.  I gave a child up for adoption and I do think of him on his birthday along with many other days during the year.  I would bet your birth mom thinks of you also.

Answer 10

Most mother who have put their child up for adoption just want to give that child a life that they were afraid they couldnt give their child. I think your mother probably did just that and I think she misses you terribly.  I am positive that she thinks about you every day wondering how your doing, what you look like, who you grew up to be. I'm sure she thinks about you daily...not just on your birthday. If you have not tried to find her you should. Hope I've helped! Happy Birthday!

Answer 11

YES!

If you want to search or just to talk to fellow adoptees, you should check out www.adultadoptees.org.  Happy Birthday:)

Answer 12

Of course she does!  You are her child!  I think you should look her up and find her.  Tell her everything she missed.  Finding her is the best option for you right now.  If you don't, you will question on it forever.

Answer 13

I'm certain she thinks of you on this day every year as well. She will remember you on this day every year (and likely many days in between)!

Answer 14

My mom gave up a little girl when she was in high school and while she is still into drugs and drinking, my brother and me have turned our lives out wonderfully. I wonder sometimes if she came back to meet my mom and realized my mom is crappy... that she wouldnt care to see if she had a sister. I think about her even tho she knows knowing about me. So I hope your biological mother thinks about you more then just your birthday!

Answer 15

I'm also adopted at birth, and I ask myself the same question every year. I guess it depends on the situation she's in, and was in when she gave birth to you. She probably does; I'd sure as h**l think of my kid on their birthday, no matter where they were.

Adoption should be against the law; and then we'd never have to wonder...

Answer 16

Happy Birthday fellow adoptee!-different year and date though.

It is quite a thought every year isn't it??!!One thing I do is hope I made her proud every year.....I also wonder how we would celebrate birthdays.!!

I have talked too many people over the years and they all told me they do remember, so I have to go by that.

  Imagine if she happened to log on to your YQA- THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING!!!!!!!!

Answer 17

yes i do.  As a mother myself, i have also considered putting up my baby for adoption at times. Not b/c i d ont love her but b/c i dont think at times that i can give her everything she needs and sometimes ithink there are couples who could make the child much more happier.  I truly believe in my heart your mother thinks about you all the time not just on your birthday.  She was attached to you from the time she conceived.  She could of opted for abortion but she loved you too much to do this. so instead she sacrificed and gave you up for adoption so you can have a better life . Im sure of it.  I think your mother will always love you and i think deep in her heart she probably to this day feels she did the right thing.  I give your biological mother alot of credit for being so brave and putting you up for adoption. Its the hardest thing a mother can do.

Answer 18

I'm sure that she does. I have a friend who gave her baby up for adoption several years ago because she was young and felt that her baby deserved a better life than the one she could provide.

She thinks about her little boy a lot especially on his birthday and around the holidays. She does regret her decision but she is also glad that her baby went to a loving home with two parents who were better able to provide for him. Try to remember that your mother gave you away because she wanted you to have a better life, not because she didn't want you.

Hope you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow.

Answer 19

You know she does. You can't be mad at her.You never know what happen.  And it does make a diffrence. One day you will meet her again. If it is just in heaven.

Answer 20

Happy Birthday, we share the same birthday!!!!!!!

I am sure she does.

Enjoy your birthday.

Answer 21

Happy Birthday! and she probobally does think of you.

Answer 22

I cannot imagine how she couldn't think about you.  This is your and her special day.  Giving you up was probably one of the hardest things she has ever had to do and she will forever think about you.  Not only on your birthday, but every day.  She loves you and you are always going to be part of her.

Answer 23

There is not one day that I don't think about my son - how he's doing, how much he's growing, etc and I simply can't imagine that changing no matter how much time goes by, though I hope it will not come to that.

I can almost guarentee you, as others have said, that she thinks about you far more than just that one day, if not every day.

Answer 24

I think of my daughter every holiday and on the random days too.

I always take off work for her birthday. I can't handle it. All I do is cry on September 9th.

She does think of ya. Trust me on this.

Answer 25

Happy Birthday!  I Know she thinks of you everytime she opens her eyes. I am a mother that was young and dumb and wish I could of done different but you can't go back....My son has allot of anger towards me. because I gave him up to my mom and dad. I was tricked but that did not matter. it did allot of damage letting my mom adopt him. But I know that she does think of you! And wonders all the time about you! and loved you enough to let a good mom and dad raise you.

Answer 26

Absolutely yes.

Answer 27

yes - she is.

I had to give my son back to my ex husband by court order. The court system favored fathers over mothers.... even though i had an excellent job, housing, a male figure while loved and was involved in my son's life more so than my exhusband was ever involve........anways i last saw my son on 19 may 08. I have not been able to contact him because my ex will not let me talk with him. My son turns 4 on 11 August. I think about him every day and there is not a second that goes by that I do not wish him in my arms. that was the first time we had been seperated ( minus the normal day job sitter) since conception.

Honey. A mother NEVER EVER EVER forgets her CHILD.

Answer 28

well all i can say is as a relinquishing mother there is not a single day that goes by that i don't think of my daughter and on her birthday she seems even more to the fore of my mind and i wish that i could tell her this

Answer 29

yes, of course

Answer 30

Happy Birth day and your mom for sure must be thinking about you and regreting about giving you away and wondering how you would look

Answer 31

Happy Birthday!

Of course she thinks of you. You are her biological daughter!