Do you think my mom was right?

Question

I'm 17, at college and live at home with my mom,About 3 months ago, I stayed overnight at a friend's house without telling my mom where I was (I guess I got a little tipsy and totally forgot).She was frantic with worry and blew a gasket when I got home next morning.She hauled me into my bedroom and gave me six swats with the paddle. I know I did wrong but I think at my age this is an inappropriate way of dealing with it

Answer 1

Hi Veronica!

Try to put yourself on your mom's shoes.  I guess that night was a real nightmare to her.  She's your mom and loves you.

You shouldn't do it again.  Show that you can be responsible next time.

All the best!

Answer 2

What you said pretty much wraps it up.

What you did was wrong, but what she did was wrong...er.

She loves you and was worried about you, but swatting you with a paddle at any age is inappropriate and doesn't solve anything in the long run. And at your age, she really needs to stop being so over protective (moms never will :P ) because you won't always be at home with her where she can see you.

In the future, call her. And talk to her about this if you want.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Sorry veronica but you just really disgust me.  All you are worried about is a few swats with a paddle.  Try to put your self in your mom's position when you did'nt come home!  Every newspaper she picks up will have stories of muggings, rapes, abductions and murders and you can bet that she imagined every one of them when you did not come home!  Your briefly sore tail end is nothing compared to the anguish she went through that night.

Answer 4

I would say that at your age YOUR behaviour was inappropriate. You are certainly old enough to read the papers and listen to the news and hear about the dreadful things that happen to young ladies who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Clearly it took something drastic to get through to you. You caused your mum unbelievable anxiety which needed an outlet. Your behind WAS that outlet. Seems fair to me.

You won't ever forget to let her know where you are again - will you?

PS Seems you forgot to mention that broken curfew?

Answer 5

You tell her that is child abuse and that if she ever beats you again, you will call the cops on her.

Answer 6

I think your mum needs to find an appropriate way of dealing with this, like talking or yelling????, it is understandable that she got so worried though, not knowing where you were or what had happened to you.

Answer 7

Honestly, I think you are too old to be spanked. I haven't been spanked since I was 6... that was 6 years ago. You are almost a legal adult, so no I think you have a right to go out when and where you want.

Answer 8

I think she was right to be worried, but I have to say that at your age, paddling you is a bit, well, ridiculous.  

Answer 9

  You may be are thinking of this the wrong way, I think that spanking you should have ended a long time ago however your behavior warranted her her treating you as a child, simply because of your childish behavior.

   underage drinking, no phone call, allowing her to worry all night.

these are not the actions of a mature young lady, still living with and dependent on your mother you should have more respect for her.

I am sorry that you feel this was unreasonable , but I do hope that you might be able to see your mothers point of view,

only 6 huh ?

Answer 10

Physical (corporal) punishment is inappropriate at any age and under any circumstances and is usually the recourse of people with little imagination or who have been brought up themselves with beatings.  You should approach her when she's in a calm moment and tell her that you won't take that from her ever again.

You should also apologise for having caused her so much anxiety that she had to lose control in that way.  Do this with the respect due to your mother, point out the respect that you feel for her and ask her to show you the respect that you also deserve.

Good luck, it might seem like an overwhelming situation right at the moment, but it will fade into insignificance with time.

Answer 11

You cannot blame her, you are in minor age and Mother act like that is totally normal i think it won't happen if you called her that night you cannot go home. So why you drink alcohols anyway? I am 23 and i don't drink alcohol.

Answer 12

I totally agree with COLIN T and i will add this you don't know what its like when some one gos out and not return because you would have phone home if you did  for your parents sake when your out and cant make it home  phone home  

Answer 13

she was right.  you got 6 slaps,  she had 12 hours of panic.

Answer 14

You're still a minor so technically speaking your mom was in the right. You also have to remember though, if you had a daughter who was meant to be home one night and she didn't turn up until the next morning, you'd be frantic with panic.

I think your mom was right to panic although her reaction is way over the top with regards to the paddling, i'd say you'd be a bit old for that....

Answer 15

after all your parents are worried about you..they punish you because they love you..they are just teaching you to be more discipline..we don't have all our lifetime with our parents, so just accept whatever they do to make us a better person, and of course it must be rasional.

Answer 16

I think so too! Mom needs to chill out... You're 17, almost legal. If she's gonna punish you, she should...idk....scream at you or something!

Answer 17

She was wrong to use violence. If someone did that to me I would cut their heart out, speaking metaphorically of course.

Answer 18

Haha a little inappropriate but it is NOT child abuse like some of the nanny-state lovers, you are only 17 and think about if your child went missing and didnt tell you, you should have called before, just dont do it again and there wont be any problems, her house her rules really.

Answer 19

your mum reacted inappropriately. she should have just talked to you.

Answer 20

Yes, I think she was right.

She was, as you say, "frantic with worry" about where you were, what you were doing and worse, what some evil bugger was doing to you.

Hope you tell her next time.  

Answer 21

That's bad- that's abuse.. I would have hit her right back.