Do you think non-trans people should tell trans people what they should/shouldn't be offended by?

Question

What I mean is I have a friend (and others as well) who tell me that I should "ligthen up" or "stop taking things personally" in regards to things like people calling trans people "trannys", "It's", "freaks", etc.

Or assuming that transsexuals aren't "real" men or women, but just g*y people trying to be something they aren't.

Or that I shouldn't be offended when people assume I'm a g*y man.

All these things I find offensive, and I get really aggravated at people. But instead I get told by NON-trans people that I should ligthen up, or even worse, try to see things from THEIR perspective because "I'm just an oppressed minority and that's just how things are, deal with it, and just try to please the masses" basically.

Answer 1

Is it any wonder why many of us lead assimilated lives and often move after transition is over?  I'm looking into moving in the next 18 months because it will give me a fresh start away from people (mainly co-workers) who know my medical history.

Yes, while in the middle of transition it can be REALLY irritating.  But at the same time you're getting a bigger and bigger taste of how life should be and that's EXCITING.  I've gotten to the point where I want to not have to think about my co-workers anymore, I just want to be me.  And I will, but I have to be patient until the job opening I want opens up.

Anywho, I feel your pain!  I've resigned myself to the fact that 95% of people will NEVER get it.  So try to be patient, bide your time and keep your eyes peeled for an opportunity that presents itself to get that separation.

Hugs

Answer 2

No one should tell anyone what they should or shouldn't be offended by.  You can't tell someone how to feel.  You just feel.

Answer 3

Ok, here's my 2 cents on this question.

You have all the reason in the world to be offended. And for someone that isn't trans to tell you that you need to "deal with it" - well, s***w them!!

While they are correct that you are an oppressed minority, that doesn't give full reign for others to continue their ignorance. That is simply a cop-out.

My advice is this: Try to remain cool and calm. I know you already know how stupid and ignorant people can be. Keep doing what you are doing and keep educating people - as I know you do. Soon in the future, this ignorance will fade away to the point where it doesn't bother you. You have to take this personal because, well, it is personal to you.

Stay strong. Know that we are here for you. Don't let the hate get to you. You are a much better man, and a stronger person than they are. I know that without a shadow of doubt.

Answer 4

I can imagine it must be tough being transexual. People are so biased against anyone who isn't "genderally correct". It disturbs me that there are so many discriminating jokes about it. Sometimes I even think  men make a mockery of it with their drag costumes.

You have a right to be offended if someone says those things, but in the real sense the only way you are going to feel comfortable with yourself is if you shrug off those people that try to offend you. By allowing everyone's comments to anger you, you're giving them more power and wasting your own time. Thats just imo.

Answer 5

Well, I guess you kind of have to pick your battles.  What I mean by that is...people calling you tranny or freak, absolutely be offended!  People assuming you are a g*y man, not so big....people assume I am straight all the time but I don't let it anger me.  Name calling and belittling is wrong and unnecessary and should not be tolerated by anyone for any reason...but everyone, all of us, makes assumptions now and then and though it is wrong and we shouldn't do it....it happens, we all make assumptions and mistakes and I don't think that is anything that should be held against me or you or anyone else.  I think you friends are wrong to tell you that you should lighten up when people speak derogatorily to or about you, you have every right to be offended and NO ONE should have to "Just deal with" being an "oppressed minority"...just remember, everyone makes mistakes now and then, be sure not to confuse stupidity with ignorance : )

Answer 6

Oh just lighten up would you and stop being so sensitive. JUST KIDDING, I'm also Trans.

Yes you have every right to be offended. And we all should be by comments such as I made at the start of this. No one has a right to tell you what offends you or anyone else. When I see or hear the word "s*****e" I want to go into instant attack mode.  Some times I try to ignore jerks and there comments and other times I simply can not. The comment "you will never be a real Man/woman" is one that drives me crazy. Maybe in there opinion I won't but there not me or you or any of us that have or are going through this and have no right to tell us what we are or are not. The ones that really p**s me off are the ones that should try to understand us. The g*y and L*****n community. I hear more negative comments from them then the so called straight community.

I do not know the answer to your question but like another answer states I plan on moving at some point after surgery next summer. I just want to live my life as me with as little of the baggage as possible.

Answer 7

I don't think ppl who don't understand a situation don't have the rite to tell someone to lighten up. I hate it when ppl refer to us as "freaks" or "it's" I mean we arre human and we do have feelings it's not like were a inaminate object like a baseball.