Do you think one ought to live their life to satisfy others even at the cost of their own happiness?

Question

It's all well and good taking time out of your own schedule trying to help others with whatever you can. I do it all the time (even though my motives vary). However should the value of the help that we provide not outweigh the inconvenience (or even harm) that we endure because of it? For example, should I always lend things that I own, to (trusted) people whenever they want it, regardless of whether I'm using it?

Should the decisions we make in our lives be such that it pleases as many others as possible? For example, should I opt for a career move to please my family members; even though I feel it's none of anybody else's business?

Should everything I ever say be carefully worded not to reveal any frustration and anger that I may feel towards someone? I realise, there are ways to let people know that I am unhappy about the way they do or have done something; without being mean. However, aren't there situations where it's more appropriate to express rage (at least verbally)?

Answer 1

Never...

be your own person and walk your own road....

Answer 2

No, in answer to all of the above, except the expression of rage. Why are someone else's emotions more important than your own? Who wants to be a doormat. Equality is the key.

Be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else.

Answer 3

One of life's unavoidable constants is survival.

Its the core natural instinct that we all have, and to ensure survival, mankind at one point realized that it works in our favor to help our fellow man because one day we may need them to return the favor.

How far you take this selflessness is up to you.

If you're too nice, people will take advantage of you and you'll get less respect.  But be too selfish and less people will be willing to help you when you need it.

I find the best is to maintain a sense of moderation.

Go out of your way for the people that you know need it and appreciate it, but don't waste too much time or effort on those who you suspect wouldn't be there for you if you needed them.

There's a fine line between being helpful and being a wuss, and you always want to stay on the helpful side.

Answer 4

If you give everyone everything, you have nothing for yourself.  You need to define what is you and what matters to you and hold on to that.  You don't need to get angry defending it, just simply say "It matters to me."  

You will get to a point when you make a decision that others do not agree with knowing they will not agree with it, but ready to stick by it anyway and take the consequences or flak.  That's really when you become an adult.  When you no longer look to others for approval, but satisfy your own soul.  

As for loaning stuff you are currently using....  If you are actively using it, you can tell them so.  If they need to use it, let them use it in your home so you still have access to it.  You do not need to loan anything you don't want to loan.  

Choose your own career, but be aware of the advantages and pitfalls of what you choose.  It may be you need to make a dual career choice (very smart if you want to be a writer or artist).  Until you get established in the career you want, have a day job.  That is experience talking.  I know from my own experience that you can't make a living at writing, but I will keep writing on my own time and rely on something else to pay the bills.

Oh, pick your battles carefully.  If you are angry all the time, no one will pay attention.  If you get angry ONCE over something that matters, people WILL.  

Answer 5

I don't think one should be a slave to the demands of other people as that would you extremely unhappy and, unless these other people are extremely insensitive, probably end up upsetting the very people you are trying to please. By being a bit more assertive and selective about who and when you help, you will be taken less for granted and better appreciated.

Answer 6

its an interesting question as we all to quite a high extent live our lives with restraint to what we actually feel and want to say. But if we did not have this restraint we would more often than not put our foot in it by jumping the gun. we would also loose all our friends!

its what makes us different from the animals, they do what they feel but they are not civilised, to be civilised you must be human and in control of your destiny.

Its all about choices, we can choose how to behave.

Answer 7

h**l no to all the above. I never really care how my acts and deeds affect those around me. I used to I used to be a regular boy scout. The last good guy. Then I got the bejesus beat out of my heart and soul. I stopped doing things the good guy way and started living my own life my way. I don't set out to hurt anyone maybe someday when I stand B4 the Almighty I'll pay for those times.  

Answer 8

As cliche as it sounds you live your life to satisfy yourself but if you have an opportunity to help someone without harming yourself you should go for it without a second thought. Decisions concerning your life are your choice but that does not mean you should be deaf to the good advice of others...consider what they say and see if it helps you in any way, but never let another person's desires influence your own. In your life you are your top priority- everyone is second best because consider this: if you are unhappy with a decision someone made for you no matter how pleased they are you will remain unhappy forever...but if they are unhappy with a decision you made about your life that makes you happy they will be unhappy for a much shorter time because it doesn't concern them. fortunately humans are selfish to the core, if something doesn't concern them they wont be dissapointed for long. It's your life, you live it once, don't waste it trying to please people who are wrong but be careful not to ignore people who could help you.