Do you think parents that are overly protective is a form of child abuse?

Question

Their basically shielding the person from their peers impeding the persons early social skills that are so important, making the person an outcast not fitting in. Their a prisoner in their own homes being told what to do, who they can have as a friend, what they can and can not watch on TV or the movies, early time to go to bed, what they should wear...etc

Where the father buys a set of ping pong paddles for the purpose of drilling holes them, so when he spanks it'll hurt more. If no paddles he'll use his belt.

I know a person like this. I'm not allowed by his parents to be a friend to him cause they think I'm not good enough to be his friend. If I come by the house they won't even let me talk to him or sometimes they won't even answer the door. He's always depressed and I can see it's taking a toll on him. I hope he doesn't commit suicide. He'll be a senior next year and his mom still drops him off and picks him up after school. His parents are ruining him physiologically.

Answer 1

On the face of it I do not think being overprotective is a form of child abuse. Putting the ping pong paddle beatings aside for a moment...

Told what to do...he still lives in his parents home and they can and should tell him what to do. A minor child does not have the skills to make decisions on his own.

Can and cannot watch on TV or movies...parents have a right to enforce their own values in their home.

Time for bed...parents often know better than kids how much sleep they need and kids will not always attribute their sour moods or feeling sluggish to a lack of sleep.

Friends...if the friend is bad for the child or does not share the family`s values then parents have a right to tell the child not to associate with that person.

Clothes...parents buy the clothes -- they have the right to choose them.

As far as their treatment of you -- I think they should have the decency to come to the door and tell you exactly why they do not allow their son to associate with you. Then at least you will know.

If I lived in a dangerous place I might drop off and pick up my child from school.

Now--I am not a parent like this but unless I formed a relationship with parents to know why they feel as they feel and attempt to understand then I would not report them because I need to have the courage to stand up to them myself if necessary and ought to have the compassion to be their friend.

Answer 2

Its not child abuse but it definitely is setting the child up to have a rebellious nature and as soon as that child gets from under the bondage of their parents, they will go wild.

Answer 3

I don't know any over protective kids that get hit by their parents. That is just way too wrong. Sorry about your friend. Parents just want what is best for their kids, although sometimes it doesn't come across like this.

And aside from the hitting their kids thing, that sounds like the typical kid in suburbia where I live!

Answer 4

That's definitely not the way to parent a child. Kids who are parented like that end up going crazy when they get to college, I' ve seen it happen so many times.

Answer 5

it depands on what they do... my parents are overly protective but  they're not at all like that!!

Answer 6

no, it isn't an abuse.

but it is complicate to give an answer also.

the most important think, it is to understand that this atitude i t is coming  from love, in this case tru, the fear.

that people commit unconsciously an "abuse" with you. They think they are better than you, which it is not true, it can be true. You must feel compasion , not hate or bad feelings.

if you want to help your friend , I think that you must incourage him to love his parents and to find a way to assure them that  he is big enougf to take care of himself.

Being depressed ..he did not appreciate his life .. if you know him , try to put him in  conditions to be ussefull, start with small things...help some who need it ...find a way...it must be something and if you dont find anything , than ..take him with you for a walk and try to smile to every one you meet and see what happen !!! it is  simple and maybe could seems stupid , but just giving ia smile , means make a present to someone .

This simple act has a very special force : it made you feel generous and made feel grace the people who receive it.

Answer 7

I think you should tell a guidance counselor (or the principal) at his school that you are worried about him.

The counselor can then give him a private opportunity to discuss any depression or abuse issues.

If he needs help, the guidance counselor will know what to suggest.

Answer 8

i was one of those kids...and i think its more damaging than child abuse because its easier for the kid to feel like its their fault and they deserve to be treated like that. in a physically abusive relationship there is a point when, no matter what the parents try to convince the kid of, they realize its just wrong.

my mom made the school put me on permanent lunch detention to keep me away from my friends. i was grounded for months for smoking pot before i had ever even SEEN it. my mom would come to school with me so i wouldn't talk to certain people and so she could see how kids were at school. once i did try weed my mom put me in a full-on drug rehab with meth addicts. she definitely went too far in her discipline and i will always have guilt hanging over my head. undeserved guilt, i wasn't a bad kid...i did less bad things than most kids my age. the worst things i did was lie to my mom, and with parents like that, you have to just so you can move.

i have borderline personality disorder, because of my mom. of course. and i feel guilty all the time, STILL. feel like i'm always in/getting into trouble...and i'm almost 24 with 1 1/2 kids!!!   and of course, my mom still won't admit that i wasn't that bad...she still won't admit that she went too far. and until she does, i honestly don't think i'll shake these negative feelings i have acquired through my younger years...because i still feel like what she did was because of me. because i was bad. hah i didn't even have a chance to do anything wrong.

so yeah, i think its worse. and yes, its definitely abuse. other parents might even agree that his parents are abusive, but cps wouldn't lift a finger, except for the EXTREME spanking.

honestly, i was more okay with the spankings i got from my dad than the way i was on eggshells all the time with my mom.