Do you think paying for a lap dance is cheating when your married?

Question

I recently went to a strip club with a bunch of my guy friends. Most of them are married, with children. I watched them rub their hands all over these girls and pay 20+ $$ for lap dances. I love my guy friends but if their wives had seen what I saw they would be very hurt. Why is this considered ok? You wouldn't want your partner to go to a (opposite s*x) friends house for a lap dance. Why is it okay to go out and pay for one. I feel bad for my friends wives now.

Answer 1

It isn't okay. Strip club nights out I can live with, but paying to have another woman flaunt her assets at you is suspiciously close to solicitation.

Answer 2

I think married men have no business going to these establishments....It is disrespectful to their wives and disrespectful to their marriage....I think any behavior that you wouldn't have the guts to do in front of your spouse could be considered cheating.....Your experience with the strip clubs and going with your VERY MARRIED friends...is a perfect example of just how piggish some men can be.....

Answer 3

err.....no it's not right, at all. If you're married and want a lap dance, tell your wife to give you one, you're married, not going to a bachelor party. It's just plain wrong. It's fine to have your fun, you're guys, but when you marry you're getting into a commitment, learn to stick to it. Why would you have your hands all over another woman, and what about the kids? If you're going to have fun, think it through, you wouldn't want to ruin your relationship and family over a stupid idea. I hope you really didn't do the lap dances.  

Answer 4

I consider it totally disrespectful for these married men to get a lap dance, as far as I am concerned they should not even be in that type of place.

I would never marry a man that had not outgrown this type of behavior.  

Answer 5

Yes, I would feel like it was cheating if my hubby did that to me.  I would be furious and hurt.  THat is not respectful to their wives.  It is selfish, disrespectful, and chauvinistic  

Answer 6

Not "cheating" but close, will eventually lead to it

Answer 7

I definitely agree that this is a form of cheating - anything you wouldn't do in front of your spouse, that you wouldn't tell your spouse about, or would be upset with your spouse if she did something similar is cheating. It's taking something away from the marriage that should be exclusive. I'd be furious if I found out my husband had his hands all over another woman, entertainer or otherwise. And the lap dance, to me, is a form of prostitution - paying for sexual stimulation. There is only one person who should be physically stimulating my husband and that's me. I think most wives would agree. Those who think this is ok had better watch their men carefully because it's a slippery slope from lap dance to actual s*x - with one of these girls or someone they know.

BTW - why were you out with these men and their wives weren't? And what did you say to them about their behavior?  

Answer 8

I think its disrespectful, if they want a lap dance they have wives, they need to ask them to do it.

Answer 9

Yeah. Too bad. It's disappointing to find a friend has no honor. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to dump your friends. I wouldn't have them, but that's for you to decide. You'll find some answers from folks just like your friends that say it's just fine to do that.  

Answer 10

No i dont consider it cheating.

My husband and i go to stripclubs all the time and he is always getting lap dances its no big to me in fact i pay for them.

These women need to stop being so insecure and jealous.

Answer 11

No but why would you want to pay someone to tease you and you can't return the favor? If your "wife" isn't cutting it, get divorced and be with as many women as you like. If you don't agree with what your guy friends are doing - don't go and get a new set of friends.

Answer 12

Ask those guys how they would feel if hot toned men shook their large penises in their wife's face. I consider it cheating,and I would say my husband has done it but of course his friends would never tell me.

Answer 13

I think it is cheating, you are rubbing a woman with sexual intentions right?

My husband never goes to strip clubs anymore. He has the view of "why go when you have a wife at home that you can be intimate with"? Also he views it as not right if you are a married man or in a serious relationship.

  

Answer 14

I know I will get a ton of THUMBS DOWNS.  But I don't consider this cheating, I consider it entertainment.  NOW...taking them in the back s******g, or exchanging numbers and hooking up H*LL YEAH.  But it's a stip club, paid entertainment.  It's a place where I feel men can be men and remain faithful to their wives.  I would perfer my husband to rub a few *sses and see some nude chics dance for $20 ANYDAY.  Then to meet a chic in the grocery store FOR FREE and carry on an affair.  Because men by nature are hunters, they need to release that "urge" somewhere.  I am really understanding that men are from mars, women are from venus, we will never think or act like men, but we should as women at least understand them and TRUST them.  Bottome line no TRUST, don't matter where he is or what he is doing.

Answer 15

did you do it too are you asking if you should feel guilty or are you single???.... don't worry they paid for it.... those girls are making money out of you guys with your tongues hanging out.... good for them...  

Answer 16

umm...what are married guys doing at a strip club first off..If my hubby ever walked in a strip club behind my back i would totally break hiss b@lls

Answer 17

In most circles it's not considered okay. You're getting sexual gratification from someone else.  

Answer 18

wow I feel bad too. hearing c**p like that always worries me. I do think is equal for a husband to get a lap dance and a wife to give one. The sad truth is that they dont care.  

Answer 19

yeah it is cheating and if they dont consider it cheating then they would have told there wifes wouldnt they

Answer 20

i dont think its cheating but it all depends on the relationship  my guy can go out and get a lap dance along as thats it....its not s*x so in my eyes its not cheating and alrite

Answer 21

Umm first of all what kind of cheap place you've been where you can rub all over these girls for 20$. No decent place will let you touch the girls more then a handshake, hug or just hold her by the waist. No I wouldn't mind my partner getting a lap dance, but we usually go together, it's a lot more fun like that.

Answer 22

It is cheating....your paying money to have some girl rub her b***s and butt in your face while you grope them...it is not ok and it is cheating to me.  

Answer 23

Are they deriving sexual pleasure or sexual titillation from these other women? If so, then yes, it is cheating. But more than that, it's tasteless and sexist, neither of which are nice traits in a husband.

Answer 24

you should tell your wife this is something you would like her to do for you at home and pay her the 20 bucks u are going to spend in the club.  this way u r not cheating and it just might put a new twist on your relationship...

Answer 25

sweetie is better for your friends  to pay for their wife s**y outfit and tell them  to do a lap dance for them! they will enjoy it better. there will be no money waste. also i think you should stop going out with this married guys to clubs like this! their wives will ended up hating you! good luck

Answer 26

I would consider it in poor taste... Some guys have no class and act like immature animals when they are around their friends.  Just as you said, I don't think the husbands would like their wives crawling all over some greased up hunk... It NOT ok and as a wife I would NOT tolerate such lewd behavior from my husband the father of our children.  Besides, if my husband is handing out 20's they should be going into HAND!  I do more than just dance!   I would skip the local strip club the next outing and go somewhere else... Especially, if you feel uncomfortable.  

Or if you want a show.. Invite you buddies to the strip club and have their wives and girlfriends show up an hour or two later...!  Let the party really begin!  LOL!

Good for you in being the better man!  

Answer 27

Its not okay and there all cheaters and dont even appreiciate there wifes and thats just sick how they could do that im glad you know better and apreciate your wife i mean she " only " marrried you so yeah...

Answer 28

It all depends on the level of maturity and confidence of the wives. My wife does not feel threatened by this form of entertainment. Most do.

Answer 29

The only way it is cheating is if his wife gives him lap dances all the time. Let's face it most women will not. Men feel wanted when they go to strip clubs, we understand that they only want our money, but it is the fantasy of being wanted. A lot of women forget that their husband what they're husband needs (even the ones who are thinking "not me" when they read this.

They aren't having s*x with these women, plain and simple.

Answer 30

I wouldn't bother feeling bad for their wives unless you knew all the angles.  It's very likely that their wives are not having any sexual relations with them.  For a really long time, like I mean years and years.  For me, after 12 years of no advances from my wife, I started doing I things I never thought I would do.  Otherwise I was about to buy some pets at the pet store and run them over with a car.  I'm serious, I've thought about that.  

Answer 31

It is def. not okay with me! If my husband spent our money on a girl who he wanted to see grind on him and touch her body....lets just say i would be pissed :) I think its one thing to go to a strip club but another to actually pay for her services..ugh!