Do you think people start spreading rumors when they see coworkers go to lunch when one is married?

Question

I don't want any rumors to start and the people at my work gossip like crazy. Do you think people will gossip & spread rumors saying we're having an affair if I go to lunch with a married man when we're just friends? If you think it is likely that rumors will start, then I won't go to lunch w/him. Or, to avoid the rumors, should we drive in separate cars to lunch? I think that is wrong & weird if I suggest that to my coworker as it looks like we're being sneaky. He asked me to lunch before, but I turned him down as I was worried people would see us together and talk.

Answer 1

Let me ask you something. How comfortable would you be if you were at lunch with this guy and your husband or his wife were to just show up? I mean it is just an innocent lunch with no other expectations, right?

Answer 2

no there  is  nothing  wrong  if  thats  all  there  is  to it.  what  they  are  doing  is  called  slander  and  it  is against  the  law . you  can  su for  it but  you  would  have  to  prove  you are  NOT having  an  affair  and  thats  nearly  impossible.

just  say you  can   come  with  us as a chaperone if  you  like.

were  just  going  for  a  meal together because like  most civilized  people, we prefer not  to  eat  alone..

if  you  want  to  be  a  recluse,  then  knock  yourself  out

Answer 3

Are you KIDDING?

Go to lunch girl!

Why let the ignorance of man kind get in the way of having fun? If we let that effect everything, there wouldn't be much to life, believe me.

People who waste time gossiping and spreading rumours, obviously don't enjoy their job all that much, and have to find little tid bits to amuse others to actually get attention. If you go for lunch and what you are predicting happens, and it REALLY starts to bother you, talk to the people who you know are saying it and say " Listen, I have a job to do. All me and so and so were doing was going for lunch, as nothing more then friends ( co-workers ). So I'd prefer you quit saying things. If you have a problem with me, say it to my face. Please and Thankyou" Then just walk away. If the continue, tell your boss it's effecting your job and the way you do your job.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!

Don't let the world's bafoons get you down.

Answer 4

May I kindly say that while YOUR intentions are pure, going out to lunch alone with a married male coworker is NOT advisable. It will cause rumor and ill feeling from your coworkers. Surely , a lunch is not worth sullying your good reputation for? As far as going to the extreme of taking separate cars ... That wreaks of deception and if noticed by coworkers will only serve as "proof" of something going on.

Please forgive if my next bit of advice seems like I am criticizing your morals. However , a married man inviting you out to lunch is not being respectful of your reputation. .. He's fully aware that this would cause gossip about you.He may also be taking you out to see if you might be open to more....Men say they "only need to talk" let him have his emotional conversations with his wife.

Also , try to think if you were this man's wife would you like your husband to be lunching out with a attractive single girl?

As for the lunchroom, I guess that's ok if it's not a steady everyday thing. The worst thing would be for you to become "joined" at the hip with this guy in the workplace. Be like a bee and visit all the flowers... Then your friendly not flirty. Company luncheon? Same rules apply.

Good luck.  

Answer 5

Worry less about what people are thinking. You'll never be able to control that.

Worry about what you're doing.  

If you're not doing anything that you fee bad about, it doesn't matter what other people are thinking.

Answer 6

spread like a soap opera pledge! the work place is great for filling in as that missed episode of ' Dayz of  Our Lives'. If its truly innocent, take a friend. Then your safe depending on the drama that surrounds your work place. That or the water fountain will be full of whispers of the threesome they all wish they had been part of. Ever hear that rule, Never date co workers or neighbors....there's a reason for that. Have fun. Stir them up! lol

Answer 7

If you have lunch in the company lunch room with a male colleague there is nothing wrong with it at all. If you go out with a male colleague who is just a friend, he should let his wife know that he has lunch with a female colleague if you go elsewhere.. in the lunchroom you can have lunch with anyone you like but should you go out and are just friends, out of respect he should tell his wife that he has lunch with a female co-worker, that shows he is honest toward her and the colleagues..it's none of their business.

Answer 8

Please don't go with him. It looks bad on the both of you, but people always get mad at the woman in situations like these.

I hate double standards.

Answer 9

you should go to lunch anyways, and dont look sneaky just wear work clothes and make it look proffesional because really it is. and if ur coworkers gossip alot man they have no lives but if its really that bad turn him down and offer dinner with both ur spouses. and sunny side up is so true the woman do always get blamed, and the guys are just saints >:P

Answer 10

I suppose anytime two members of the opposite s*x are seen alone together there will be humors flying about.  Why no invite a third co-worker a time or two so that they can affirm that there is no hanky-panky occurring.

Answer 11

yes i think there will be rumors.  It's a bad idea to have lunch alone with a married man.