Do you think people will adopt less internationally if Domestic Adoption in the U.S was reformed?

Question

I was curious to know if any one else out there believes that there would be less international adoptions out there if we had some MAJOR reforms here in the United States. I think we'd see less Adoptees in need of help, less waiting AA and other races of children, and we'd see less children in need of adoption. But then again, maybe international adoption would rise even more because there would be more children staying with their biological parents? I would like to know how you all feel. I want to adopt, but I find that there are some seriously hurting adoptees out there that might've really been better off staying with their biological parents (as they say). What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

Some might, but not all.  I know people who adopted from overseas and use the kids as "trophies".

Answer 2

Personally, even if there were changes made to the adoption process in the US, I would still adopt internationally.  I would always be worried about the birthmother trying to find the child, which I think is much less likely to happen if the baby is from another country.  Plus, there is too much competition for infants or young children in the US.  Some people feel comfortable adotping older kids, but for many people who would like to experience a greater span of developmental stages with their child, there are more babies available outside of the US.

For me, adoption is not about rescuing needy kids.  It is about making a match with the child that is meant for me.  I agree that some kids may have been better off with their bio parents, but the parents made a choice, and all anyone can do is try to make the situation as good as possible after the decision is made.

But I do think some reforms would help many other people I know who are interested in domestic adoption, but afraid of some of the waiting periods and fees associated with it.  Good luck in your adoption journey!

Answer 3

Good question.  We carefully researched and considered all avenues of adoption before selecting the option that was right for our family.  We did some extensive research into infant domestic adoption, including being open to adopting children of a different race.  Honestly, the process gave us an icky feeling.  We had already decided not to front expenses for the birthmother as it seemed too much like buying a child and it put that feeling of coersion on the part of the birthmother, if she changed her mind.  However, we were told that if we didn't pay for the expenses, we probably would not be chosen by a  woman considering adoption. We were turned off by that.

We would have chosen the route that we did, for other reasons, but that was the single biggest "turnoff" for us, when we were researching domestic adoption.

Answer 4

A lot of domestic children waiting for adoption are those that have been seriously abused or neglected, and they are often of minority status.  They bring their own issues into the home and require dedicated parents educated in how to best suite their needs. This is not the "dream child" or "dream adoptive experience" for most parents looking to adopt.   These children usually still love and miss their birth parents and successful adoptive parents have to respect this.  

In some cases, maintaining relationships with birth family is important and beneficial - but not all adoptive parents want to deal with that.  So going outside of the country makes it "easy" to decide that maintaining relationships with the family or origin is not possible.  

The reforms we need are ones which strengthen and support families of origin so that less kids are placed in foster care in the first place.

Answer 5

My mother and father are adoptive parents and I'm not quite sure what your major issues are?  My parents adopted into our home babies as well as adolescent children that all came from broken home and abusive situations.  I personally feel that the major reason we have so many international adoptions is because of the high occurrence of minority children in care.  Not may adoptive parents are looking for black and brown children.

Unfortunately, white people adopt abroad because they wasn't non-black or brown children.  Now for someone like yourself if you are looking for a child that is generally healthy emotionally and physically, maybe you should look into private adoptions.  My godmother went that route for my youngest god-sister and she came as an infant 2 days old.

But most of the time if you are going through a state agency the children are going to be a little bruised.  But nothing a little love can't handle.

Good Luck God bless.

Answer 6

I wish that would be the case but, considering that many International adoptive parents pay the highests adoption fees and usually have children well past the newborn stage--and there are more then 120,000 children in foster care (many are acutally the same age as those adopted internationally) and the costs are usually close to zero---that hasn't changed much... ???

Answer 7

Yes!  There are so many children in the foster care system that need loving homes, but there are also many obstacles to adoption from this venue.   The goal of the system is to re-unify the children with their biological parents.  This is an excellent goal, and I believe it SHOULD be the first line of action.  However, in some cases it just isn't possible.   Then the children remain in the system for months that turn into years, being shuttled from home to home, and eventually school to school.  Their issues are not addressed.  Eventually a decision is made to terminate parental rights, but by that time, the child is a very hurt and confused individual.

How many chances can people be given to turn their lives around?  Even ONE year is a long time in the life of a child, never mind four, five or six years.    If I were a foster parent who wished to adopt a child, it would be torture to love and care for that child for half his or her lifetime, only to learn that in the end, he or she would be returned to an abusive home.

If there were more support for the bio parents, more education for prospective foster parents, and LESS MONEY given to foster parents, it would weed out the situations where (a) reunification wasn't possible and (b) foster care was being provided solely for income.  If I were a foster parent, I wouldn't even want to be paid.....I would just want health care to be provided for the children.

Answer 8

I dunno...laws need to be changed and clearly have been very harmful to some adoptees....while others say that they have had great experiences...I am  sure much of it is also dependant upon the placement, openness, and the termination situation..i.e. why/how the child was removed in the first place.

Our adoption has gone quickly and smoothly, though some placements take years....it largely depends on what ability and situation you are providing for the child--at least through foster care. I think the best chance for a child is their natural parent--in a loving, healthy home....but unfortunately, not all parents want to or are able to parent....this can be said of both birth and adoptive parents....In our process, the thing that disturbed me most is that it 'seems' as if a background check and a basic interview and parenting classes, and 'bam' you too can have a child.....I do think that the process should be more rigerous/detailed....many people completing the process with us were--IMHO--less than ready and able to be parents....I hope that their cases reveal that...and that all prospective parents are held to a higher standard--these kids have already been through enough and will struggle with more in the future, and should never be placed in yet another painful/stressful situation.

Answer 9

As with many "issues" in life.. As times change as well as needs and demand, there is or should be reforms..  International adoptions are costly and can also be very long.. It requires going to the country of origin, often several times.  Meeting, spending time with, and bonding with the child. Especially if an older child.. The US has strict laws that they feel are in place to help protect the adoptees.. and their relinquishing parents.. "We do have rights" SO THEY TELL US.. A lot of parents change their minds within the first year.. and many people end up losing their babies after 6 months or a year... sometimes even longer.. This is one reason why domestic adoptions are less sought after.  There are many "older" children who are more easily adoptable in the system.  These are the needy and abused child.   They do bring with them a lot of "baggage" and many adoptive parents don't feel they can handle the financial and emotional strain of dealing with what they see as long term dysfunctional issues..  The bottom line.. regardless of where a child comes from, just like with a natural child.. There are no guarantees, and no such thing as a "perfect" child.   Parenting is a difficult job..but one of the most rewarding you will ever have..  Like us all. children just need love, and lots of it..  As long as you've got that, you can work everything else out.. I think that some people prefer international because it is more acceptable than taking what they consider a "minority" child.. but lets face it. If an International child isn't a minority child.. I'm missing something somewhere.. I know that any and all adoptions are difficult and it's a little freightening.. I applaud every person who is willing to take a child, regardless of race or national origin. and love it ..and call it thier own..

Answer 10

If reform occured there woudl be less domestic adoptions.  Thjen more international adoptions would occur.  (or hopefully more foster care adoptions!)