Do you think she's lying about her kids??? is parenting really not hard?

Question

My friend is 33 years old and has a 10 year old daughter, a 7 year old daughter, a 2 year old daughter, and she's 7 months pregnant with a baby boy. She and her husband both work from home and make great money, and both participate pretty equally in taking care of the kids.

Anyways I'm pregnant with my first child, and I was talking to her about how scary everybody makes parenting sound. She told me, "I really don't think parenting is as stressful as people make it sound. People tell you all the time how hard it is...and sure there have been some chaotic times, but really I find it to be a humbling very enjoyable experience. I rarely have to discipline the older girls and my young one throws tantrums every now and then but it's usually no big deal. Just relax."

It is true I've rarely seen her kids back talk or do anything terrible, and when they do misbehave she's firm with discipline but not harsh. I guess I'm wondering if she's lying or if really for some people parenting isnt that hard. Her husband has told me before he thinks parenting is fun and only sometimes does he truly get stressed. And she told me they still manage to have s*x once or twice a week uninterrupted, and they schedule a romantic dinner once a week.

Could they be covering up the chaos? Or is parenting really that vastly different for everyone?

Answer 1

She might be lying, but not necessarily. Parenting can be hard, especially if you aren't ready for it. But it can also be amazing, wonderful, and even fun and enjoyable (so my parents tell me).

If she has someone else sharing the responsibilities equally, that makes things even less stressful.

Parenting isn't "easy" but it isn't necessarily miserable, or extremely stressful.

With my parents, there were definitely moments of stress, but from the time I can remember (and I really don't have a lot of memories from my REALLY early years, when it seems like things would be most stressful) my sister and I were rarely the cause of any major stress. It was usually finances (which were definitely not helped by the two extra hungry mouths) and things like my health (which, okay, kind of my fault since I was the sick one, but not really the kind of stress I think you mean).

I asked my mom about it once, and she said that there are always things that will worry you, but that my sister and I were always pretty easy to raise.

So, to sum up that rather long answer, parenting really can be that vastly different for everyone. Your friend might be lying, or in denial, or something like that, but then she might also be telling the truth.

Answer 2

well with 4 at my house i say its a little of both. i dont think parenting is hard, its time consuming. you are working 24/7. if you are sick or tired, oh well. you still have to be there. plus it depends on how much you want to put into it. you can toss them aside and let them fin for themselves (easy) or you can be there for them (more work) i think if you raise your child the best you can and grow each day with them its not hard it s a reward.  

Answer 3

its different with everyone it sounds like she has very well DISCIPLINED kids. yes it can be stressful but its so worth it. just remember to discipline discipline discipline, and you'll be ok.  

Answer 4

Parenting is a wonderful experience but it can be very hard from stress to dealing with naughty children but for everyone their experience is different.

Answer 5

I wouldn't think she's lying; it sounds similar to how things are with my family. :)

Answer 6

Every situation is different. Yes it's fun & it can also b very stressful. It all depends on how u discipline ur child. The way things r right now, it's hard 2 discipline children bcause they threaten u w/ ACS or that they're going 2 call the cops on u. Just enjoy while ur baby is a baby & then take it from there. I'm pretty sure u will b a good mom. EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT! Good luck w/ ur baby.

Answer 7

well, it does have it's stressful times, but it also has its enjoyable times

Answer 8

I think that different people handle chaos differently.  

Certainly, every family, every partnership, every child is different.  But, parenting is challenging at times, even in the best relationships & families.  

It all comes down to whether you choose to face your challenges, together with your partner, as an interesting puzzle to overcome & take pride in solving or trying your best to solve it, anyway.  Whether you see the humor in the absurdity of it all.  Whether you treat mistakes as learning tools & treat yourself gently as you learn.  

All of those things do make it easier than if you're a 'glass half empty' kind of person.  

Answer 9

Everyone is different, so everyone experiences parenting in a different way.  People who are very high-strung or perfectionistic can get stressed out over the smallest things, while people who are laid back and easy-going can stay calm and relaxed through pretty much everything.  

It can also have a lot to do with the kids themselves, and their basic personalities.  My sister's son is a handful (to put it nicely), while my kids are very easygoing and obedient.  So even though my sister and I have pretty much the same temperment, we both have very different opinions on how easy or difficult it is to be a parent!

Answer 10

i will say congratulations to your friends with the good kids and i have a little bit of an explanation for you.  

parenting can be difficult when you have two parents working and taking care of the family. leaving the house for work definatly makes it more stressful. if your friends are not struggling for money, that is one more thing to make their parenting easier. if dad and mom are both equal parents then they have hit that parenting place we all reach for.  parenting is vastly different for everyone but i think the key to it is simple. these little people start as blank slates and we write all the info they will need for the rest of their lives. if you mistreat your children or they see people mistreating you then you can bet they will be harder to handle as tweens teens and young adults. i have three children and right now my life is extremely chaotic. my husband is in the army and away right now. but when he is here it is sooo much different. when we have our tag team in effect, they can't run all over us. it's easier now cause moms by herself....  :(  all in all i have good kids but right now the two year old runs the place once in a while and the twelve year old is mad at the world sometimes.  it is all part of life with these little humans. i love it and wouldn't give it up for the world.

good luck with your baby.  and take your friends advice. chill relax. have a good time with it.

Answer 11

There is chaos in every household, no matter what.  Its how you handle it that matters.  your friend sounds like she is a very good parent and has a good handle on things.  I'm sure she was just as worried about child rearing when she was in your shoes, though.  

Try not to worry.  Most households aren't like the ones on Nanny 911.  Things are a little hectic at first, but you will find your groove and do what works for your family.  

Answer 12

No, she could be accurately depicting things in their home. As parents, it's pretty much being on the same page, having a plan as to how you want to raise your children - working hard, and being consistent, which is honestly the biggest thing, and you can't be lazy. However, once things are more in place, that's when you reap your rewards as parents - because things DO run more smoothly.

Really, it is a matter of discipline (not punishment), proper guidelines, and being cohesive as a family.

There really is no need for chaos - doesn't mean life is perfect, but it just goes more smoothly.

Our child isn't perfect, neither is our family, but we've totally been able to avoid a lot of the pitfalls other families have with their children simply because we worked hard right from the very beginning - to establish the type of life we wanted - one with way more laughter than tears! As parents, we just didn't want 'the drama', and made sure that wasn't going to happen in our home...

Answer 13

Don't worry!!!! Parenting can be chalenging at times but it's different for everyone. If you are a patient person it may be alot easier. I have two of my own, a three year old and an eighteen month old, and I love it. I'm not going to lie there are going to be times that they push your buttons, but it's nothing you need to be worried about. All parenting is is trial and error and once you find something that works it is relatively easy. As for your friend, I doubt she's covering things up.

Answer 14

It sounds like they have the ideal arrangement (working from home and having equal time with the children), and they also have a knack for parenting.  They are blessed but alot of it has to do with having a positive attitude and setting a positive example for the children.  

Answer 15

parenting can be stressful, and enjoyable. its not enjoyable all the time, every kid is different, so it depends, and it depends how much patience you have! good luck =]

Answer 16

If you have equal parenting and embrace the idea of having a healthy happy family. If your life is chaos now then it'll be even worse with a baby.

We love being parents and it really isn't that hard. There are sleepless times and some difficult moments but in general it is so rewarding. I would never tell anyone it is hard - it's only as hard as you make it.

Answer 17

She is not lying to you. She is right. The thing with her is they have taught their children how to act and there are consequences. When you are consistent in how they are to behave and you tolerate no less that is what you get. Sure there are times they push the limits but if they know you are going to push back they behave. Yes you can still have s*x. My children are not allowed to walk through closed doors without permission. I do the same with them, I knock also. The key is to start early and be consistent. They learn very quickly.