Do you think some young women aspire to be homemakers out of laziness and a sense of entitlement?

Question

Before you read this, please consider this:

I am not calling homemakers lazy. Many homemakers work far harder than people who hold jobs outside of the home. This question is referring to SOME young, single women who have never been a homemakers, and are currently holding jobs outside of their homes, but who wish not to work.

Someone asked a question earlier regarding if women should be allowed to work outside of the home. Some WOMEN replied along the lines of "No. I hate working. I would much rather sit at home all day and do nothing, and have my husband go to work and make all the money. Working sucks." I have also heard stories from distraught men who have overheard their wives conversations with friends expressing excitement about being able to stay home because "I'm lazy and now I have all the money I want I do not have to go to work!"

Do you think there a difference between women who express their desire to be a homemaker as a valuable and important role in their family that requires dedication and hardwork, and women who express their desire to be a homemaker as merely a free pass out of holding a job outside of the home because "working sucks" and they think some man SHOULD carry their financial load? Are these women who think it is a free pass to "do nothing and still have money" lazy and entitled?

Answer 1

Wow, outstandingly phrased question for a controversial issue.

I wish I had the time to elaborate on my thoughts, but I don't so I'll make it short.

In general, traditional women don't define laziness. Some people are handed everything in life, and if spoiled "Daddy's little girl" was always told that her only goal in life should be to find a wealthy man, then she will search for the lifestyle that she has become accustomed too (men giving her everything she wants). By and large, homemakers are not spoiled brats, but the brats are the ones who tarnish the image.

Women who work (careers), on the other hand, are very rarely lazy. They have gone to school to get the education they need, and they are in the business of competing with men for resources, not sucking them up.

The difference often only lies with the upbringing. If a girl's mom was a happy hardworking homemaker, she will she it as a positive thing. If the girl's mom was a single parent working hard to support her kids, then she will know that she needs to make her way in life.

The dangerous thing about responsible hardworking homemakers is that they may become trapped. They are in a more vulnerable position than the husband is in case things start to go south, and she may end up being crushed with no where to turn as the man happily writes her a small check that can't support her.

Answer 2

Yes, some women aspire to become homemakers so they'll no longer have to work. This usually happens when they have never found work they actually like.

Answer 3

No!!!!!  I think everyone knows I have worked my entire adult life in various occupations.  I never aspired to be a SAHM- but I will not let someone call most of them lazy.   I almost always had help cleaning, the other household chores, and most years when our children were small, a nanny.  It takes a lot to keep a house clean, well ordered, yard work done, repairs completed, and everyone clothed and fed.  The chores we didn't like we paid to have someone else do.   The benefit was that we could focus on the kids and each other when we got home.  

Yes, there is a difference.  Any woman thinking she can marry and retire will have a very bad family life.  My oldest brothers' wife did that- he died last year at 54 and after 36 years she had to go to work.   She rarely did housework, seldom cooked, and only had one child cause they were too much work.  She was lazy.   A good example of one who is really a SAHM for her families benefit is "Proud".   I think she wants the best for her young family, and feels her contribution is as a SAHM.   It may not have been my way- but I'll support those who make that choice unselfishly.    

Answer 4

It isn't out of laziness.  It is because they have a very strong motherly instinct to take care of their children.  

Remember, women working wasn't even highly regarded unil during WWII when all the men were gone fighting the war.  They stayed working because they proved capable to do so.  

Women like the CHOICE.  That is the most fundamental part of this.  Women like to choose whether or not they can be a homemaker or a career woman.  

It is fair for men?  Nope, but then there are many things that aren't necessarily fair for either s*x in their own regard.  Is it fair to women that your job ends at 5:00 pm and doesn't start again until 9:00 am the next day?  A lot of women will say 'no'. But that is the price you pay.  

Now granted, golddiggers exist, and they shine a poor light on the subject, but you will have that with anything.  

If your woman states she wants to stay home, ask her why.  See what her answer is and see if it is to raise children, or just to sit at home because "work sucks".  If she says the latter, tell her that you can do that, but you have to rotate, (5 years her, 5 years you for example).  If she reacts poorly, you know what you need to do with a woman like that.

I hope this helps.  

Answer 5

My brothers fiance' works, but HATES it.  She can't wait to get married so she can stay at home and not work.  They don't have kids.  

Knowing her and her personality, I can assure you that she is lazy.  I can also promise you that the house won't be pristine and a meal will not be on the table every night as she hates to do housework and can't cook (my brother does all the cooking or they go out).

Yes, I think there are a number of young women who are lazy and don't want to do anything.  I think there are also many young men who are the same.  I have two 16 year old male cousins.  Neither have any plans for the future.  Both of them stayed home and played video games all summer long (ever heard of a summer job?).  Both have parents who give them anything they want and never discipline them.  (No, they aren't brothers.)  Many young people these days don't have any ambitions or any drive in life.  

Answer 6

Honestly, I do not think many women just prefer to be lazy and stay at home (this would be in a nuclear family situation).  I think the women who responded that way were being sarcastic.  Of course there is always a few bad apples.

Making the decision to be a stay at home wife and mother means sacrificing many of the "things" we feel we cannot live without, so it is a commitment that some women make, along with their SO's and it takes dedication and hard work on both their parts.

On the other hand, some women really have no choice but to work, either because their husbands are not employed or under-employed and its a matter of survival of the family.  This is certainly not lazy, but a responsible choice that deals in the reality of life.

My answer is no, women who choose to stay home and be a housewife and/or stay at home mom are anything but lazy and just not wanting to work.

Answer 7

Why do feminist not know how to take a joke... even men would love not to work and to sit at home and do nothing, I would rather say home becaue even if I work I still have to take care of the kids, clean the house, cook, laundry, dishes, school and most of the time I do all of this by myself.... while my husband just works, and your calling me lazy because I would rather stay home and do the house work, take care of kids, save money on daycare, and yeah maybe have some free time for myself no and agine... get over yourself.

Answer 8

I chose to be a STAW and mother because I wanted a lovely family of my own making someday.  The truth is, though, I made the decision to start raising a family much sooner than I had planned partly because I got beaten up by the anti-woman world, not allowed to pursue my academic goals and stuff before Title IX, always always always hearing over and over and over again that strong intelligent self-determing women were "lesbos" or "c&nts" or anti-family or whatever.  It was endless and all around me all the time everywhere with utterly no support from anyone.  So, I tried my best, adapted to the situation as it was and applied all my intelligence and hopes and efforts then into making a lovely family.

I remember the day my husband asked me to marry him.  I had just gotten off the phone with Washington University's Chinese Studies Department.  I had been selected to join the first student group of Americans to go meet with Chairman Mao and tour China when relations started to thaw out a bit with all that ping-pong ball diplomacy then.  That was quite an honor.  I was stunned and so excited.  I  remember hiding then for awhile in a bathroom stall and crying, wanting so much to go on that trip, but I was already too beaten down to believe I could do it because my parents were not helping with college (but they helped my brothers) because they did not approve of women in college at the time (lesbos) and I was exhausted as a 17 year old after two years of trying to support myself and do good in college so young. Right then, when I was caving-in, my boyfriend phoned and we took a walk.  He asked me to marry him.

I didn't go on that trip and got married instead, somewhat for the "meal-ticket" and reprieve from so money worries . . . and so that I could hide from the fire of life.  It was too hot for me.  I tried harder than most women, was tougher, and the forces against women then were too tough even for me.  I felt horrible, though, about that, knowingthat  I didn't "cut the mustard". That was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life, that caving-in, that surrender to low self-esteem, albeitly low self-esteem beaten into me by the anti-woman world.  So, yeah, I think that there is maybe not so much a sense of entitlement for most women but certainly a sense of fear and overall built-up lack of support and encouragement, too many hateful hissing oppositions even still and some women retreat into marriage not to exactly sustain a childhood but worse, already at so young an age, in utter secret private defeat.

Answer 9

I agree...working does suck.  I work a full time job as well as a part time.  I am 26.  

However, because I work so much, I do not want to have kids.  If I were to have kids I'd want to be the one raising them, not some stranger in a daycare.  My fiance doesnt make enough for me to quit my job.  Yes, I do wish he did so I could stay at home.  Not to sit around and watch tv all day, but to raise my children and take care of things.

Those that think staying at home and raising a family is easy dont have a clue.  That is one job that you dont get to leave, or take a break, or get a vacation!  Theyre in for a real treat!

Answer 10

Because they are the lucky ones.  I'd rather stay home and take care of my son than work in some dead end job getting yelled at.  At home is not always easy.  There is a lot of hard work but you are the master of your time.  

You control what time you eat, go to the bathroom, watch tv, talk to friends on the phone etc.  You can take a nap when you want, go for a stroll to the park, go shopping, meet someone for lunch, etc.  You are free to be alive and live.  At work 90% of the people are slaves.  

You can't do that working outside the home.

Answer 11

I have never really understood why anyone would choose willingly to work for someone else and I lucked out several years ago and I don't have to work any more - so I don't.

Working totally sucks and if the only way I could get out of it (if I were female) would be to volunteer to run the house then that's what I would do. At least you are your own boss.

Answer 12

I agree with another poster that some men and women are lazy but the majority are not. Some women and men stay at home forever with their parents-others find a partner to support them while they endlessly go to school or try out numerous "work at home business opportunities" that never work out while managing not to take care of the home-and of course not caring for any children. If a couple has kids-it's pretty difficult to be a lazy parent of a young child or children. A few are lazy-the others are nuts if they think taking care of children is a cakewalk.

Answer 13

I am a Homemaker / SAHM. I have 4 kids between the ages of 1 & 7. I just got to eat breakfast at 2:30pm and I still havent gotten to go pee yet today... which reminds me... Some women, like me, stay home because they want to raise their kids, take care of their husbands and home. I work very hard. I dont get to punch out for an hour lunch or a 15 minute break. I am not done for the day at 5:30. My work is done when my head hits the pillow at night and starts back up as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning. Half the time I am up in the middle of the night with one of the kids. I am sure some women might stay home to be lazy, but if you not going to contribute as much to the comfort of your family as your spouse by staying home then you need to be providing finacially.