Do you think that I should've acted differently with this guy in this situation?

Question

I was playing flirties with a guy. He and his friend found our interactions amusing as this was in the workplace. Problem is that the guy flipped out when I liked other guys in front of him. I thought it was just a game. It's mostly b/c he lost a lot of face in front of his colleague. He started to approach me deliberately, be mean and yell. I avoided him. After a month of absence, I guess he realized that he was wrong and tried to be super nice to me but I was so shocked by his behaviour I ignored him as if he didn't exist. This set him off again and things got nasty. So, should I have acknowledged him when he tried to be nice? Is that the more mature and better thing to do even though the very sight of him repulsed me? Would the situation have turned out differently?

Answer 1

Instead of ignoring him completely, you could have talked to him and told him how you felt and that you didn't care to take it any further and was comfortable with how the situation was at that point, but didn't want any hard feelings!

Answer 2

Wow, tough one.  No, you probably shouldn't have flirted with him in the first place.  But this guy sounds pretty creepy.  The swings between super nice and super nasty are telltale signs of possessive, controlling men and abusers.  Stay away from him!  But you still have to keep it professional.  So I'd suggest sitting him down ONCE and apologizing for misleading him.  Tell him flat out that you are not interested.  After that be civil but stay far away from getting personal w/ him or even being friendly.  Just keep it civil.

Answer 3

Why would you light a fire and then be surprised when you got burned?

Answer 4

Hmm. I do think perhaps you could have forgiven the ignorance of this person and recognized that YOU COULD GET IN TROUBLE if you don't stop coz what if this person flips on you and makes up c**p. You have to be SO careful. You never know WHO really likes you and WHO is just using you till they're done and then they'll get rid of you. :(

Start being SUPER nice to him okay? Not super super like get him coffees, but if he comes up to you again, talk to him and smile and whatever keeps them peaceable.

Answer 5

You can not control how other people will react to your actions but you can do some damage control when things them to get carried away..... You knew that you had already offended him ( whether an accident or not) and he lashed out because of ti ( lost face in front of his colleagues) so when he started acting nice again you probably should have been nice back and let everything blow over or at least tried to let him know that the way things turned out was not your intentions...... By ignoring him when he was being nice makes it look like you had no concern whatsoever about him, his feelings or your actions that lead up to the whole incident and so he probably felt used and betrayed by you..........

That is how it sounds like to me!!!

Answer 6

yeah, u guys work together so might as well be civil. it will make ur workplace have a nicer atmosphere and no tension

Answer 7

Well you flirted with someone who you claim repulses you. The mature and better thing to do or better yet not do is flirt with every Tom, d**k and Harry at the work place. Theres a name for that office s**t.

Answer 8

i think when you were playing around with him...he actually may have liked you, but didn't know how to really approach you seriously, and maybe was hoping that you meant the jokes and so forth.then when he saw you with other guys..he lost it..cuz in his mind he was thinking, hoping or both that you really liked him...then he tries to be super nice and you don't acknowledge it...and yes, i understand why you didn't...but i think he realized that he was wrong and then this blew his ego...normally, i'd say have a heart to heart with him..but in this case with his explosive temper...i'd stay clear...remember guys are not socialized generally to discuss their emotions as they aren't always in touch with them, don't understand them or whatever...so part of the explosive temper on his part could be due to the fact that he could be frustrated with himself, but don't know how to verbalize it...it's a vicious cycle....i must add that you put a lot of thought into your question and was very clearly written...and was not ambiguous....