Do you think that adoptee's, nmothers or anyone else that speaks out about the realities of adoption.....?

Question

and the fraud going on get treated like this by the adoption industry and gov't? Do you feel like a lot of Aps or Paps encourage it by either participating in it or turning a blind eye to the voices of the people affected by adoption?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi1eluuDGss

Answer 1

See no evil - hear no evil.

Most U.S. PAPs want a baby - they don't care how - or who they affect in the process.

Some do - thank goodness for intelligent peeps.

But most don't give a hoot.

It's all about them.

Answer 2

I am still confused trying to tell the difference between you and Independent.  

Answer 3

I think your posts do more harm then good. You can't get your message across by attacking people. I bet you have even pushed a few potential adoptive parents toward international adoption.

Answer 4

your not even a part of the adoption triad you just like to make trouble

the video doesn't have anything to do with adoption totally unrelated

try y!a politics you'll be happier there

here you only make people want to adopt more babies internationally

since you draw attention to it now they know they can do it cheaper and easier

Answer 5

Yes, I do feel that people do not want to hear the voices of the people most intimately affected by adoption loss.  The world is so scary that they want to believe that adoption really IS nice and sweet and soft and warm and fuzzy like the industry portrays it.  They so want to believe that it is a good thing that they will not allow themselves willingly to think about it too hard.  Their heart knows that logically women don't eagerly line up to sign away their infants and that the loss of a child is a loss that is unthinkable, but it all LOOKS so NICE...win/win/win.  Their logical mind tells them that age/wealth/illness are all temporary things and that the loss of a family member is forever and that you don't make permanent solutions to temporary problems.  They want to believe that everyone benefits, but they know that isn't true.  It is the role of the activist to continually remind them that the truth is logical, even if the lie is prettier.

Answer 6

um, I watched your link and I am confused. What does the link have to do with adoption? Did I miss something? I didn't even hear the word adoption in it. Please explain.

Answer 7

You know...Lara has a point.  Uninformed PAP's and AP's don't last long around here, with the exception of a few die-hard folks who have a great appreciation for their own thoughts and no one else's.  When people come here, they tend to either get educated real fast, or run away real fast.

Out in the real world?  I've come across SO many uninformed people.  And it's really hard to educate people about the atrocities in adoption - for one, because I'm adopting.  People kinda look at me funny when they find that out, lol.  But I was freaking out with ecstatic happiness this morning when I talked to my BFF and she said, "you know, I've been thinking...you're right.  People don't seem to understand that there are human beings involved here."  BINGO!  

People don't want to hear that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.  People don't want to hear that adoption loss won't go away because you really, really love this child.  People resist change.  But it's coming, Inde, don't you worry.  Keep shouting.  I'm right there beside you.  The louder we are, the more people will listen.  The proof is in the pudding...how many AP's and PAP's were farting rainbows when they first got here, and now that they've been here for awhile, they're on your side?

Change is coming.  It's happening.  Smile.  It's all good.

Answer 8

I didn't click your link, didn't have to.

I am an AP and I DO Speek out against a corrupt system. I was a thorn in the side of our agency who did our home study and adoption classes. I DID question their practices, such as a placement fee of 20% of a families' income, as if having more money meant that is actually cost more for them.

ALSO I was pressured by the agency to have his mom place him with THEM so that her rights could have been immediately terminated, we refused and felt that it was better to just have temporary custody until it was final 20 months later. During her "birthparent assessment" They tried to get her to select one of  THEIR families. They felt another family would have been a better "match" even though they had never met us or our son. I have advocated for my son from the day he was born, not just so he could be with me, but because I want what is best for him no matter what.

I know you have convinced yourself that APs and PAs just want to snag up someone else's baby, no questions asked, BUT WE ARE NOT ALL LIKE HOW "YOU" WERE.

BTW- where are all of these "most aps or paps", you meant 17  year olds looking to adopt a baby that looks just like them? sorry I don't consider that a PAP. Most of the adotees HERE state they had wonderful parents who they wish wer their natural parents, so is it all the other APs out there? Yeah, i admit I've met some, but far few than the other way around.