Do you think that beauty pageants hurt or help self esteem?

Question

I have a 12 year old that wants desperately to enter the city pageant but I am fearful because even though she is a beautiful girl I wonder what would happen to her emotionally if she doesnt win. I know she is at an age where she is easily influenced by what others say and do. I tried it when I was a teen and what I remember most was how much the other girls teased me about how "plain" my outfits were. My family really didnt have much money so I got my dresses from 2nd hand stores and yard sales. I can afford to get her whatever she wants as far as dresses but girls can still be mean. I just dont know if this will help her feel more confident or if it will crush her.

Answer 1

meh

Answer 2

i would not do it, because she would be crush if she lost. and i wouldnt want my daughter to do it, no matter how beautiful she is, i dont think children should be judged

Answer 3

i would talk to your daughter about it.  Tell her she is very beautiful, but there are also going to be alot of other beautiful girls in the pageant.  Tell her you hope she wins, but she might not win anything.  Ask her how she would feel about if she didnt win.  Other girls can be mean, just to be mean or they are jealous, tell your daughter this, and tell her not to let them get to her if this happens.  I would talk to her, tell her how you feel, and then leave it up to her.  

   You might also want to consider what kind of person your daughter is.  If she is really sensitive or she tends to let otehrs affect how she feels, you may tell her that you dont want her to be in it.  And instead take her out for a mother/daughter day.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well, becuase she is one in several girls, she probably won't win.  It could be a good lesson that you don't always win and it's OK not to win.  I wouldn't put her in that environment because it's true that the other girls and moms can be so catty and awful to each other, but if it's really important to her it could hold some valuable life lessons on being a gracious winner, being a gracious loser, dealing with people who aren't always nice, etc.  If you are supportive and ready to help her with the challenges that come with it, it could be a good thing.

Answer 5

Well I would say it's a good sign that she wants to do it. I'm sure some moms force their daughters into it from an early age. It really depends on her personality. She might be strong willed enough to ignore any criticism and really believe in herself. Maybe she is more sensitive but at the end of the day while I'm sure you want to protect her daughter I think you should encourage her to pursue her passions and support her as a growing individual making her own choices with your guidance. If you just take it day by day you can assess whether it's becoming too much  for her or not and if she knows you're there for her she will be more likely to tell you too if it's getting too much also. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

they hurt

Answer 7

if she wants to do the pagent then let her do the paget just make sure she knows that she could get hurt and so on..

good luck :)

Answer 8

She's only 12, so if she ends up not winning she'll probably be a little hurt emotionally. But why not let her try? You just need to be there for her regardless, bc she'll need her mommy the most: ) If she wins, how great would that be! It's a 50/50 chance but I think it would be a fun experience for her she'll never forget!

Good luck to the both of you & don't worry about ppl trying to bring you down bc they're not worth it!

Answer 9

They ruin yourself esteem. People are constantly telling you your hair needs to be better, your outfits need to be more tacky but in pageant world "glamorous", your body isn't good enough, you don't have perfect skin, and you don't have a good personality on-stage. I don't know whose self esteem that wouldn't ruin after hearing that on such a regular basis. That world is so fake.... I saw a thing on VH1 on how parents paid for their six year olds to have a fake set of teeth because having missing or loose teeth as a child is gross. How despicable!

Answer 10

I don't think it's good for them because they might not win and that hurts. Also some of the girls and their moms can get catty. Also the girls who do pageants can sometimes get a little big headed.

Answer 11

★ I don't think it's necessary for her to be in the beauty pageant because sometimes they just seem so superficial and the girls start thinking that they have to act a certain way to impress everyone. I don't know her though... ★

Answer 12

Sometimes they help and sometimes they hurt. they hurt the ones that lose and help the ones that win.

Answer 13

I feel beauty pageants hurt the self esteems of viewers and everyone who doesn't win, and boosts the esteem of the winner.

As for your daughter, however, she's going to have to learn how to deal with the harsh realities of the world some day or the other. I definitely feel that if trying out for this beauty pageant is something she's truly interested in, she should put her heart in it and compete. It will be a new, interesting experience for her and what won't kill her will only make her stronger.  And hopefully, you'll be there to support her throughout. Good luck to your daughter! :]

Answer 14

Hurt unless they win.  Being judged is no fun.  Then when you don't come in first, second, or third it's just a huge let down and a reason to go shoot yourself in the face or never eat again.  I don't like beauty pageants.

Answer 15

Beauty pageants are sometimes over-sexualizing and nasty, but not all of them.  

Also, losing the pageant  might crush her.  I doubt other girls would tease her, but still.  Speak to her, and say that beauty pageants are a bit of an anarchy.

Also, speaking, second hand stores are totally fine, you can get a lot of great stuff.  Shame on the people who said otherwise.

Answer 16

OMG!! I just debated this at camp. I would say that it helps self-esteem because she will learn so many new skills (speaking in public & poise) and she'll perfect her talent. I bet she'll make many new friends too. I don't see anything wrong with pageants, as long as you don't push her too hard.

Answer 17

help

Answer 18

h**l yea!

Answer 19

For me, losing anything takes a blow to my self esteem. But its better to learn not to always throw yourself into something risky, such as entering a competition, if you don't believe in yourself. If she wins, she'll feel proud. And if she doesn't, yeah she'll be sad but she'll grow from it.

Answer 20

The answer can only have a chance of being constructive input if one knows your daughter personally, and has insight into how she handles rejection/acceptance. It is a competition that only one can be the winner. If she feels good about herself than a loss will be handled in a healthy manner, with your help of course. But if she is over sensitive or already has problems with her self esteem then you may consider not putting her into a position that may intensify these feelings. Long story short, only you know the correct answer.

Answer 21

I think its based too much off of looks, and if you aren't whats expected, you will probably be teased. be careful about that decision. personally, i wouldn't let my child do it. they could become too superficial and too wrapped up in making sure they always have enough money for the dresses and become bratty.