Do you think that children who are adopted requier MORE attention and hugs than bio chiildren?

Question

For bond reasons?

Answer 1

no. what u need to do is give them both the same attention becuase one will feel left out or lessed love by you or who ever your with. give them their space.

Answer 2

No

Each child is different

You can have to child (both bio or adopted, the same)

You can get one that nee more attention, and hugs and attention, and one more independent

I know a lot of twins that are like that

Answer 3

i don't think they require more hugs/attention (unless they were in foster homes where they were abused). since your bio children and adopted children are loved the same why should the adopted kids be treated differently? yes, acknowledging they were adopted is a good thing. but how about through celebrating their culture (like celebrating chinese new year or w/e) instead of expressing your love for them differently? it makes it seem like you have to prove you love them instead of it being understood that your love is unconditional.

Answer 4

I think that if I got extra hugs it would have freaked me out and made me think my parents were over-compensating. My mother wasn't the cuddly huggy type anyway.

Answer 5

Yes!  Thats about the only difference i notice.  (at the moment oldest is nine)  More hugs, more attention and reassurance.  

My nine year old (adopted) was surprised when i told her i would lay down my life for her if someone broke in.  She said would you really?  Of course i would you are my daughter!  You just get out of the house.  Little verbal things like that.

Another example is she said we act so much alike that you would think we were related.  ( can't remember word for word but that was the gist of it)  I said we are related you're my daughter.  Well, not really she said.  Prove it i said.  We laughed.  She sneaks little things like that in.  Whenever i reassure her, she smiles and hugs me.

One other thing i remember now having 2 a-children and 3 b-children is that in a new environment like a park, the 3 would wonder off and explore.  Both of my other 2 cling to me and won't explore unless i'm an arms length away.  Not complaining love the snuggles but just something I've found in my own family.  ( keep in mind our youngest 2 yr old daughter has only been home 2 1/2 months and it might change in time)

Answer 6

I don't think so, especially if the child is adopted at birth, because then the baby is part of the family from the beginning and treated like any other child.  If adopted older, they may in fact need extra love and attention to foster bonding, but that doesn't  mean that discipline, rules, etc. should be any different.   And some children are different - some liked to be hugged, kissed and cuddled more than others.    There is no absolute answer to this question.

Answer 7

Not really no. When a child is adopted into an adoptive family, that child automaticaly becomes a son/daughter to the parents. We adoptees are the same as every other child on this planet. We dont need special treatment. We are not unique to everyone else either. I think what is important is, to show the child love, just like any other normal family. At then end of the day, adoptees are adopted into normal families.

Answer 8

I believe all children are different - regardless of whether or not they were adopted.  

I do believe however that adoptive families need to be more *aware* or *attentive* to different needs their child may have due to the adoption process.  A child who was adopted may in fact require more hugs, just as an older child who was adopted may need more space to sort things out.  

It's difficult for me to say that a child who was adopted automatically requires more attention because I think that different situations call for different answers.  My Godson's family adopted a special needs child who needed several surgeries and constant attention.  My Godson (the bio child) felt left out because of all of the attention his sister was receiving because of her medical condition.  I think at that point, HE was the one who required more attention and hugs to reassure him that they were all still family.  I personally believe that all situations are different but that adoptive families need to be aware that there may be different issues they need to be more attentive to - with all their children.

Answer 9

no not at all i think all, yes all children need lots of love and attention, lots of hugs and kisses wether they are adopted or not...for bond reasons

Answer 10

All children require attention and hugs!  As an adopted child myself, I think perhaps I got more attention and hugs because I was soooo wanted!  Bonding with your child whether they are biologically yours or via adoption is all within the parents hearts and hands.  Anyone can bond with a child, its only if they truly want too.

Answer 11

I would have to say Yes!  Especially if the children are adopted through the state.  Most of these kids have dealt with abuse and/or neglect.  They need a lot more reassuring, and they need to know they are loved, and worth something.  They have lacked attention for so long that they usually are starved for it.

Answer 12

yes

Answer 13

I think if the adopted child is too young, he can be brought up in a normal way. However, if u adopt someone who could remember his parents in his or her concious, u will have to do alot extra, to keep him happy.

Answer 14

I know it wouldn't have made a difference for me.  Hugs were not going to bring my mother back.

I would have greatly appreciated more compassion and more validation.  I lost my mother, my extended family, my WAY.  I was bereft, and extra hugs were not going to cure that.

What every human being needs is someone to listen, and to say something validating after being listened to, such as, "That must be so hard, I'm sorry."

Answer 15

YES...I think so. Adoptive mother of three who came to me as toddlers...they need that extra reassurance. I am finding that I am saying I love you and hugging them more than I do my biological daughter. Not intentionally mind you!!!

My bio daughter is showing me that she wants the same type of loving and we are working on making sure I balance all the attention between the girls.

My "new" girls were neglected so I am trying to make up for lost time. I have discovered some great BONDING and ATTACHMENT information I share at www.adoptive-parenting.com

Answer 16

Yes!  Well, nobody can have too many hugs; but one of the biggest myths of adoption is that it is no different from having natural children

Adopted children whose parents acknowledge and recognize there IS a difference and parent accordingly, fare much better.   Adoptive parenting is parenting 101

We are celebrating our Irish roots for the first time this year - I'm 37 years old, this should have been acknowledged YEARS ago.  Roll on St Paddy's day!

Answer 17

bio versus adopted...NO

need a hug when he/she is least hug-able...YES

Answer 18

I read a question earlier today from a teen who has cutting issues and I have to tell you all kids need love and attention.

All children need the same things and it depends on the needs of each child.

All children are different.

I have 2 children one is cuddly and the other not as much.

More importantly is stability and a routine along with boundaries. The hugs are a bi product of good parenting.

Answer 19

I think at the beginning, especially for older children you have to give them security and stability above all else.  You need to build trust, that may hvae just been inherant for birth children.

Answer 20

i think maybe they require assurance they will not be abandoned. i went thru a phase, whenever my adopted mother went out the door, i would cry because i thought she wouldn't be back. but she kept reassuring me she would and hugged me, she was just very understanding and loving. so i soon got over it.

Answer 21

If that child has been through some traumatic events in their life, then yes I feel that they may require more attention, understanding, patience and affection.  That could be said of any child adopted or biological.

Answer 22

No, I don't think so- children are children- we all need hugs.  I am  adopted and have 2 adopted children- and I can tell you that I bonded with my children the moment they were born- they did not have to grow in my stomach to be my children.  I know that some bio children need attention from their parents and never receive it.

If children that are adopted our older, they may need some added love and security however as I said before even biological children need love and hugs