Do you think that god should have the bible re-released in slang?

Question

You know, have his modern day "prophets" re-write it in slang?

What would that sound like?

Maybe his apostles could be his "dawgs"?

Answer 1

"In the b'ginnin' Homie G created the skies and the treads we walk uponeth with."  

Maybe.

Answer 2

It's been released in lolspeak.

  Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat s***w tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.

20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.

29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?t*t...

Answer 3

I'm not even asking for that. How about having the Bible written in plain modern English, instead of the King's English that many people like me who haven't read the bible or wouldn't read the bible would now read it, because for the first time they'd be able to understand it.

Answer 4

I guess you havent heard of "Bible on the Street" aka the "Street  Bible". Its a paraphrase, like yo dude....

Answer 5

No. However, Message Bible is a street language

Answer 6

There is the "Street Bible" by Rob Lacey and also "The Message" by some Patterson dude.

Not quite the same thing, but close. :)

Answer 7

He /She should

Inspire a New Version

One that makes sense to all

Answer 8

Call it the new ebonics version.

Answer 9

I think that'd be kinda funny.

Yee-Hah!

The Marlboro Man

Answer 10

A few years back they published a book called BLACK BIBLE CHRONICLES.  It was the story of Jesus told in a modern, black way.  

Answer 11

For the most part sequels are never as good as the originals, however in this case honey you may be on to something. Like I wonder if jesus did a little "manscapin" before the crucifixion. You know he wanted to look and feel his best before the big show.

Answer 12

u mean like n text speak?

idk might b 2 hard 2 follow.

(see cc above)