Do you think that homeschooling is harmful to socialskills?

Question

yes i know that the homeschoolers can participate in extracurriculars such as karate and hangout with kids in theri nieghborhood.

Answer 1

NO.

Answer 2

No, I think it's really great! I love homeschooling and have 2 very very very social kids!

Answer 3

Here is my opinion, based on my experiences. It is not backed up by 'official' research, only by my own thoughts.

I think that it totally depends on (A) the kid and (B) the parents. There's a kid in my eighth grade class who came to a regular school for the first time since second grade last year. He was and is so beyond screwed up. He has no understanding of social skills, can't take a joke to save his life, and likes to think that he's smarter than everyone else, even when we all know that he's not. He also is super-anal about making sure that he's right 100% of the time. Teacher says "Turn to page 135," he asks five seconds later, "You said page 135, right?" He drives us all insane.

Then, you have a kid who was in my brother's class who started homeschool this year for the first time. She absolutely loves it. She's smart, she's funny, she's very caring to everybody, and all-around a very nice person to be around. The only detriment to her that I see is that she's sometimes rather elitist about public school students, but that, I think, was likely fostered both by her more unsavory experiences with public school students and the fact that a particular teacher at my school(small Catholic elementary and middle school, FTW) is similarly elitist and likes to make it known.

What's the big, defining difference between them? Their parents. The kid in my grade's parents are strict and have an aura of self-importance about them. They are very traditionalist, and he has a way of interjecting God into any and everything. They rag on him now(he's 14!) because he doesn't write his assignments in cursive. I'm also pretty sure that he had very little social interaction with anyone outside of his four brothers from the age of eight to the age of thirteen. The kid in my brother's grade has parents that are very involved with their child's life, and are similarly fun and interesting. They make sure that she and her brother and sister are involved with things that they were in beforehand so that they don't become used to only being around their siblings day in and day out. What I also think helped was that they had a chance to be socially active in a school setting for a good part of their life before getting homeschooled. Therefore, they know what its like to be on the inside of a classroom and they know how to act around people outside of their family.

Basically, if you do it right, homeschooling is certainly a good idea, but it relies on a certain kind of child and a certain kind of parent in order to really work well. Otherwise, if the public schools around you are not satisfying, look into private schools. They offer a similar social experience(both good and bad sometimes) and can often offer much better academics.

Also, homeschooling should never, EVER, be used in order to shield a kid from the 'bad things' in society, because all it does is make them think that their little pod is the only bit of society and the only bit that really makes sense, so that when they really go out among average society, they have no clue what they're going to see and can't deal with it. This is, I swear, part of the reason why the kid in my class is so screwed up.  Its a necessity to let kids know what's right, what's wrong, the difference, and how to choose, but they should be exposed to what's "wrong", for no other benefit but so they know what "wrong" really is.

Answer 4

no I homeschool my three children and it works great for us. Go here to read how I do it and share your ideas http://homeschoolanswers.blogspot.com

Answer 5

I know it was to me. I've grown up homeschooling, and I have very few friends because I haven't been able to hang out with other kids my age, and I am a very shy person. I also have a hard time keeping up a conversation, and I always feel as if I am doing everything. Just recently, my parents put me in a community school because I was pretty much failing, and homeschooling just wasn't working for me. But yeah, I'd say it can definetly be harmful if your child is not being involved with other children.

Answer 6

It's only harmful if the child doesn't get out of the house enough to socialize with peers and have opportunities to meet new people.

Answer 7

...it depends

Answer 8

No, my children are out in public everyday, they actually get to spend more quality time with their friends, learn how to handle REAL social situations, and exhibit more mature behavior than Susie does seeing as she was picking her nose while eating lunch at school! !

Social skills are taught by the family more than peers...!

Answer 9

No.

Now let's talk about public schooling and its harm to social skills in the form of bullying, shootings, alcohol and drug abuse as well as sexual activity at very young ages.

Answer 10

This isn't a "yes" or "no" answer.

Yes, homeschooling can be harmful to social skills in certain cases. This doesn't mean that homeschooling is harmful to social skills across the board, however. It depends on the kid and the parent, honestly. Some kids are going to be naturally less sociable than others---this is because of personality type and not their mode of education. However, some parents can be overbearing and restrict their children too much---these children, even and especially if they are naturally social, will either shut down or totally rebel, like one of the above posters mentioned about the Catholic girl.

I've been homeschooled all my life and I'd like to think I have good social skills. :) One big benefit to homeschooling is that your kids will get more practice interacting with adults.  Exactly what type of socialization is your child getting when he's in school? He's around other kids. Honestly, after your kid graduates, how much time is he going to spend with 20 other kids all his own age? I think that homeschooling, when done correctly, prepares a child more for the adult world.

Answer 11

NO!! Home schooled kids know what REAL socializing is about. Some people on here answer and don't know anything about homeschooling. I am home schooled and have been to meet politicians for meetings, have been on National youth councils, started my own business, speak 2 languages fluently and MUCH MUCH more!

I know some children though who went to school for a few years and couldn't even say hello, and were really "anti social". Now they are home schooled and are a LOT better, but you could still say are the most social people in the world. Just because they aren't REALLY social doesn't mean they would be more in school. Some people are just like that.

God has given me the chance to be home schooled and it has been amazing the experiences I have had.

Answer 12

no, not at all. I think it is weird that people think the ONLY way to socialize is by going to a public school. that is so odd to me...

Answer 13

No it isn't. I'm homeschooled but I have good social skills. I'm involved in 4-H, I play soccer on the public highschool team, and I see my friends almost every weekend. It all depends on if the kids do other things, if school is their only social thing then I dont think it would be smart to put your kid in homeschool.

Answer 14

It all just depends in the amount of extracurriculars they participate in. It also depends on the types. If all the extracurriculars they do are with other homeschooled kids, then I think yes, their social skills will still be a bit impeded by the time they get to college.

I saw a lot of students in college who had been homeschooled and only hung out with their siblings. They had no social lives because they were WAY out of their comfort zone. (I had a roommate who would get up, go to class, work for a few hours, then go back to the room and just play games on the computer with her siblings 3 hours away).

I also saw a lot who had only been around other kids who were homeschooled. They spent the majority of their time in shock, embarrassed, or completely lost because of what they didn't know.

Answer 15

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They usually are MORE Socialized then public school students! I mean if going to a drug filled drinking s*x ridden facility and sittine in aclassroom for like 7 hours not being able to talk where all the kids are the same age if that is socialization I mean public school is All that! NOT!! Homeschool lets you interact with kids of all ages and plus no getting teased to hang out with uncool or younger kids! So No it does not a all do harm to social skills and anyone who says that is a Public schol Freakazioid! and also some people have base ther opinions upon 1 homescooher! I have my opinion from birng homeschooled 7 years Going to 5 different homeschool classes! and at church homeschool students are able to interact much better with others!

Answer 16

I know many, many homeschooled kids. I have seen little evidence that homeschooling is harmful to social skills. Most of the kids have fantastic social skills. Some don't, but they are separated into two groups: those who wouldn't have good social skills to begin with (issues such as Aspergers or extreme intelligence or other) and those whose parents seem to have a laissez-faire approach to their homeschooling and child-rearing. There are very FEW of these.

I felt, as an elementary teacher, that school was harmful to social skills and just overall social development, which is why I thought to homeschool in the first place. Everything I'd learned during teacher training and sociology courses seemed to scream out at me while teaching that our current school setup is wrong, wrong, wrong for optimal psychological and social development. My husband, a jr. high teacher, feels the same way.

ADDED: I know a mom who is now homeschooling her high functioning autistic son. He was in school all the way through the end of gr. 4, when she finally pulled him because he was a MESS. He is now in gr. 8 and her only regret is that she didn't pull him out sooner. He did not spend 7 hours a day learning social skills. He did not get the aide he was supposed to get for gr. 4 and in gr. 3, had an aide who didn't do her job properly. This mom, a former teacher herself, has said that homeschooling has been the best thing for his social skills because he actually can be TAUGHT what to do, what is appropriate, in just about any situation. He was NOT getting this at school. He has far more guidance now than he was getting in school. She is convinced that he has a chance at being far more successful than he would have been had he stayed in our school system.

That is not to say that some schools aren't the right spot for some hf autistic kids to be, but to make a blanket statement, as one respondent did, that it's just wrong to homeschool an hf autistic child is wrong in itself.

Answer 17

Harmful to 'meaningful life' - type social skills? No.

Harmful to the 'Public school/peer group dependent/adolescent angst/cult of celebrity/mass media driven/materialistic - type' social skills? Yes, probably...but some of us may consider that to be a good thing.

Answer 18

Yes. I've known a LOT of home-schooled kids and they tend to be a little more out of control and immature socially. My roommate in college was homeschooled...a "good Catholic" girl who binge drank every day of the week and let strange guys sleep in her bed, but when Mommy and Daddy came on the weekends, she was a good girl. My mom's co-worker's daughter (home-schooled) bought a plane ticket to Las Vegas (she told her mom she was staying with a friend for the week). The only home-schooled girl in ROTC drank until she got kicked out (everyone talked about how strange home-schooled kids are behind their backs).

I know I'll get a thousand downvotes because this is posted in the home school section where it's all moms who homeschool their kids but trust me, other people notice a difference between public schooled kids and home schooled kids, and it seems that they have a LOT to get out of their system by the time they enter the "real world" (these three examples aside).

Think of it this way...no matter HOW MUCH time they spend a week in little leagues or girl scouts or whatever other clubs their parents put them in to socialize them, it will  NEVER beat the socialization they get out of being with other human beings for 7-8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

A lot of the fear comes from the idea that their kids are going to be influenced to drink/do drugs, that public schools are rife with degenerates, etc...and to a certain extent, that may be true, but LIFE is rife with degenerates, and it all comes down to arming your kids with the ability to tell right from wrong and not shocking them by throwing them into that environment when they start college. You can't expect to shield them for 18 years and then send them out into the world to fend for themselves with no repercussions. The key is to work with them during life in grade-school to help them make the right decisions, so they're capable of doing it alone when they get out.

If you're talking education, yeah, home-school education is probably much better, but at the end of the day, you need to decide whether a good grade-school education is more important than life-skills and the ability to understand and interact with other people.

I used to think home-schooling was the best way to go, and I HATED going to public school, but the more home-schooled kids I meet and the more I research it the more I realize I would NEVER do that to my kids.

[Edit]

I have a form of high functioning autism as well and going to public school was the best thing for me....I would not be able to function properly in society if I was not forced to practice social skills 7 hours a day. I hate it when parents play the "my child is autistic" card, because in that case, home-schooling is one of the worst things you can do in terms of integrating your kids into society. I understand that there are problems with IEPs and everything, but for kids with autism, they need more help with social skills than anything else.

Answer 19

In my opinion it has a lot to do with the parent's personalities...if the parents are social "phobes" and homeschool to keep their kids out of society...chances are when the kid enters society they might have problems.  If the parents are outgoing and social....the kids probably have a better chance.

Answer 20

No, not as long as they have exposure to kids their age.

Answer 21

I was home-schooled and it wasn't harmful to my social skills.  It is possible for someone  to go to public school from Kindergarten to their senior year and still have poor social skills.  

I think it has more to do with the person than whether he/she is home-schooled or not.

Answer 22

Not at all. In school you learn to be friends with kids only of the same age and gender. Homeschoolers (or at least my kids and many others I know) are friends with a wide variety of people. They have the same types of friends as school kids and they're also friends with the elderly photography geek, everyone in the community orchestra which ranges from ages 7-70, their sisters harp teacher...

Answer 23

Depends on how you homeschool as well as your definition of social skills. Having two kids with autism, I have a whole 'nother view of social skills (and it's a bit irritating when people say neurotypical people *don't* have them, that's a stretch)

I wanted to point out that it's not just homeschoolers who go to college and go crazy....that's pretty much true of 70% of high school graduates. Thirteen years of control is what created that, not homeschooling. I was an RA for a year at a large state university, and there was an entire dorm, hundreds of kids who were in PUBLIC schools, who spent every weekend drinking until they threw up in hallways, having s*x in stairwells, flunking classes and losing scholarships. That has nothing to do with homeschooling, and everything to do with parenting.

Freedom of choice in younger kids, as well as freedom to socialize, will create young adults who don't have to prove who they are, who know what they want in life without rebelling against adults, and are healthy mentally and physically.

(edit) for mossbreaker.

I have two kids with autism. One is high functioning and one is low. I know NINE other families with kids on the spectrum that homeschool. I know probably about seventyfive families in public school (I do run a support group) Guess who's kids are doing better socially? Neither one of my kids received any sort of social learning at school, people with autism do not just pick it up. Putting them in a public school without social skills classes or lessons is like putting an infant into a lion's den and expecting them to crawl out alive. It does not work that way. I would say that if you have HFA, it must be VERY high functioning or you were lucky enough to be in a school that gives a d**n. We went to every public school in our city and not one was able to provide the services our children needed to succeed in this world. Homeschooling allows me to take them out into the real world, where I can tutor them one-on-one on how social skills work, is the one thing I can count on helping them. The social skills learned in school are good for just that, school. They don't work in the real world.

Climbing down from my soapbox.

Answer 24

As a homeschooler, I actually take offense at this question.  Let's say, yes, homeschooling IS harmful to my kids social skills.  Why on earth would I purposely put them in that situation?  I guess I must be a bad parent, totally unconcerned with the future prospects of my children.

Homeschooling CAN be detrimental to a child's social skills attainment IF they never leave the home to interact with humans outside of the family.  Otherwise, everyday interactions (at the store, the doctor's office, the park, the movie theater) are enough to develop good social skills.

Personally, I think homeschool is a much better place to develop social skills, as they are generally exposed to the "real world" instead of the artificial environment of same-age peers in a public school.  I would much rather my kids acted like the store clerk, receptionist, or dog walker we meet out in the world than many of the public school kids we see.

Answer 25

A thousand times --NO--

Socialization means that you can communicate, and function in a variety of situations with people of all ages, and back grounds.

It means that you can hold a conversation, and have some knowledge; preferably factual; of a larger assortment of topics from cooking to politics.

This can hardly be accomplished by being segregated in a school building with people your own age.

For young people to become the adults they are supposed to be, they first must be able to interact with them on a daily basis.

http://www.nhen.org/printfriendly.asp?ID...

http://www.familyebizmom.com/cgi-bin/arp...

Answer 26

Please run a Yahoo Answers search for the last 8,798 times this question has been asked and read the wonderful and informative replies there.

Please note that the first letter in the first word in an interrogative is capitalized and social skills is two words.  Yes needs to be capitalized, and it would be appropriate to follow it with a comma.  Their is spelled incorrectly as is neighborhood.  

But thank you for being concerned about a homeschooler's need for socializing with pblikskulers"

Answer 27

No, I believe it is beneficial to social skills and unlike some answerers, research backs up my claim. Just run a search on Home schooling and socialization, or check out some of my other answers where I have posted a few sites. Just like anything, you can not form an opinion on one or two cases.