Do you think that if your 1st child is an "angel" your 2nd will be much harder????

Question

My daughter is the easiest going bub you have ever met, has slept through since 7 weeks, plays alone for hours on end (no i dont just leave her but when i try to play with her she just crawls off and plays by herself), very happy and personable....soooo many people tell me that if i have another bub i am in for a terror...i like to think she is the way she is somewhat due to the way we parent. Whats your experience????

Answer 1

I was pretty angelic as a kid, in fact I'm still pretty easy for my parents to raise. When my sister was really little, she was a bit of a bully (so my mom tells us) but that was an extremely short lived phase, and now she's just the best person ever.

I am absolutely the way I am because of the way I was parented. I always tell my parents that every good quality that I have is their fault.

I've seen my mom turn so called "impossible" kids around, and I know that any kid raised by my mom would be a joy and an angel.

I think that there are some kids who are good in spite of their parents, but I don't think that there are a lot of kids who are bad in spite of their parents (barring of course kids with psychological and neurological disorders).

If your first kid is an angel because of the way you raised her, then I have no doubt that your second will grow up to be just as sweet. My sister did, she's the most compassionate and thoughtful person in the family, I swear she is.

Answer 2

I was in for a big suprise. My first three children were all angels. My fourth child, not so much lol. We had definite sleep issues with the fourth one. She wants a lot of attention. She is still my angel though, just a little more challenging though. You wont know till the second one gets here

Answer 3

That's the way it was with me. My first son, I couldn't believe how good he was. My second son I should've named Lucifer.

Answer 4

Although I have no experience with this. I don't believe this is the case.

Answer 5

I don't know if it is true but it is my experience! My son is so laid back and calm and my daughter is a terror on legs...but they were that way in the womb as well! Must be their personalities,,,,my son was sooooo calm in the womb I was always in the ER in fear of him being stillborn....my daughter was so active in the womb.....I couldn't sleep! She would kick so hard that one day I grabbed her foot...yes it gross but she kicked so much I could actually see her foot through my stomach...I would tickle it as soon as she pushed it out and she would pull it back in lol

No Joke! My husband almost passed out when he finally saw it....he didn't believe me......and he is the kind of person that gets grossed out easilly........he said it reminded him of the Freddie Kruger movie where the dead people try to come out of his skin!

She is still active! She is the one that trashes my house, jumps from the stairs....she started walking at 9 months.....she is just a handful but I love her forever ever!!!!!

Answer 6

No, I don't think it turns out that way, it totally depends on the child's personality, the way you parent, etc.

My first child was my most difficult.  He's 7 now, and definitely has a "spirited" personality.   High maintenance from day one.  I was also a nervous wreck first time mother, which I'm sure didn't help.  

My second two kids were and still are very easy going and were much easier.  I was also much more relaxed as a mother.

Answer 7

that's what happened to me

Answer 8

Many times the first child is the "trick" child. They convince you that kids are easy and you think you know what you're doing. LOL. Then child #2 comes along and you're eating antiacids on a daily basis and worried about losing your homeowner's insurance!

But some people can have two laid back kids or three or four---you can't tell ahead of time.  

I'm glad your child is easy going but if you are thinking about another  child you need to erase this from your brain:

"I  like to think she is the way she is somewhat due to the way we parent. "  Because the fates are very, very cruel and THIS kind of thinking is definitely tempting them!

Answer 9

the second is normally easier,

to control but the first can be delightful!

Answer 10

It is somewhat due to the way you parent.  But it is widely known that two children are rarely alike.  The second one tends to be more easy-going than the first, though... because they don't get as much attention from the beginning and the parents are more relaxed, etc.  So you may be worrying for nothing.  Lots of times when people say that, they are just kidding around.  After all, nobody really knows what your child's personality is going to be like.  If the two children are close together, that makes it harder on you, as they both still need a lot of care.  So that might make it SEEM like the 2nd is harder to deal with.  Second children do tend to be more independent, getting into things more, trying to do things that their older siblings do, which sometimes causes more trouble.

Answer 11

Dominik - My troubled soul

William - Tough as bricks

Tobias - Soft Heart

Ryan - The quiet one

Cody - The noisy one

After 5 kids, I can honestly say no child is alike. Mine are ALL completely different. But you learn to manage to deal with everything when your a mum.

Answer 12

i was the second and last child. mum said i was always more of an angel than my older brother. first tiems always the hardest. you get the hang of it the second time.

Answer 13

Well, I was my mother's first child, and I used to take naps with her, and play on my own... and i ALWAYS slept all night long, and such.... plus during labor, my mother told me i popped right out... AND THEN she had my sister... my sister came out clawing at my mother's insides, and she was a terror child, climbing up to the top of the refrigerator and jumping off, running around like a maniac... yeah, she was and still is pretty crazy... now she is 17 and she says she "owns" my mothers car, because she gets it whenever she wants... lol.

so i dont know but that is just my PERSONAL experience... but from my moms standpoint i guess she loves us both, its just my little sister is a little more needy.... good luck with your babies :)

Answer 14

I like to think of my first as my practicing baby (LOL), whatever i did wrong or think i should have done differently, i will do for the 2nd so that i do have a PERFECT baby...

Ahh if only it worked like that!

Answer 15

Each child is different. Some people have very active children who are a lot of work. Other people have very relaxed children who will happily occupy themselves for hours. I have one of each - twin boys :-)

Answer 16

I don't know if it's true, but that's what I've always been told.  I have one daughter, almost 4, and although she has her 'moments', she's certainly always been a great kid for the most part, much like what you mentioned.  So my mom says I'm in trouble with the 2nd one if I have one!  She said it worked that way for my cousin, her first daughter was great and her second was a little terror.

Answer 17

I hope not! My son is an angel and ive got a daughter due in 6 weeks so im keeping my fingers and toes and everything else crossed that she'll take after him! And if she turns out to be a little terror, I'll love her as much anyway :)

Answer 18

I don't think that would happen. It's all about genes and how you bring up the child.

Answer 19

I have 2 grown and neither were ever a problem

Answer 20

Every one's experiences are different, bacause every baby is different! It may be your parenting, or it may just be that she is a happy bub!

Medical problems can make a huge difference in how placid babies are - my first was an angel and slept through from 10 weeks, but my second had reflux and has only just started sleeping through (he's over 9 months old). Also, as a young baby my first was a lot happier, whereas my second has been much harder to please.

It's all in their genes - some babies have blue eyes, some have brown. Some babies are quiet and happy, others are noisy and irritable. You'll know when the second one comes along!

Answer 21

My mom tried telling me that with my kids.  My first one was an angel when I was pregnant with my second she told me "look out" but then my second was a angel as well.  Different personalities of course all children are not going to be the same but they never cried, slept through the night (8+ hours) at just a couple weeks old, potty trained very early (first was 2 second was 16 months) then my third came along she was a very good baby very independent, slept through the night same as the others but she had a much different personality than the other two.  Did not mean that she was a bad child just had to keep a much closer eye on her.  She is my tom boy first one to break a bone first with stitches that sort of stuff, no fear.  I believe that part of it is the way of parenting styles, part genes, part personality.

Answer 22

I think its more the child and parenting. I have 3 and they were all good babies. No terrors, no colic, no ear piercing screams for no reason. They've all been happy, content kids. Don't worry about the terror comments.

Answer 23

Neither of our two kids are angels. I think that the second one is given more freedom than the first, which can sometimes make him/her act naughty. I was so cautious with our son (our first), but when our daughter was born I was a lot more relaxed so I think she acted out more because of it.

Answer 24

My experience is that my first was very hard and motherhood was not very enjoyable. Second child has been a joy but of course I love them both equally . It is so interesting to see their different personalities I don't think 'nurture' has anything to do with it. they are born that way.

Answer 25

While both of my children are angels :), my first, a son, was soooooo much easier than my second, a daughter.  

My son had sleep issues as a baby but he was other wise very easy going, was happy doing just about anything, very rarely cried for any extended periods and was very easy to soothe. Today, he's two, and while he's still got normal toddler issues such as tantrums etc., he's still very laid back, easy to please, loves to play with or without me etc.

My daughter, three months, is the complete opposite so far. Very colicky and cranky, she cries constantly and very little soothes her. My poor little girl.

As for it being personality versus parenting styles -- I am a total convert now that I have children, realizing that they come out with their own personalities. Yes, we certainly shape them and affect them as they grow up, but I truly think they are born with innate qualities that have nothing to do with us.

That being said, there is no way to know what your second child will be like! I think those people who tell you your second will be a terror probably have a little terror of their own and are a little jealous of your easy-going daughter's personality. I will say that it is quite an eye-opener if you do have a second who is more needy than your first. :)

Answer 26

no im the eldest child and i was and still am far from an angel my parents said i was the hardest. and i have two younger siblings. im not the only one though lots of people i no say that the eldest is most difficult because they have 2 break all the rules first.

Answer 27

Nature vs. Nuture is the one of the most heated philisophical debates when determining how a child is.  While I think parenting determines a lot to how a child behaves, it also depends on a child's temperment and personality which they are born with.  No one child is the same.  I can't say I've had an easier time with my first than my second as they both tend to cry a lot.  But I have found my first son is a lot more sensitive than my second.  There are some of the same qualities in each but they are also very different.  It's not realistic to say that since you have an easygoing baby the first go around that you'll have a little terror the next.  You might or might not.  No one can predict such things.

Answer 28

A second child regardless of how angelic it is, will be busier because it has a sibling to learn off, they quite ofter "do" earlier and want to be able to be bigger kids because they see their brother or sister doing it first. Temperaments vary and patience is another big one. Plus you also find that you might be stricter with a first child but a second you just don't have time to have a 5 min argument about why they can't have a lolly pop so close to tea time. The second gets a "no!!" and that is it. You are not necessarily in for a terror, but maybe one that needs a little more attention (seconds and thirds always have play mates until kindy and school) once your firsts (etc) go to school and stuff. If you have a second baby it might be as cruisy as the first.......you just don't know. I have a highly strung first (probably my doing) and my second is very affectionate and "needs" me constantly (probably my doing again, lol). Kids are born with completely different personalities regardless of if all of them have the same exact parents.

Answer 29

Mine got worse as I went, lol! My first was an angel, second was cheeky and slightly naughty, and the third! My goodness. He does naughty things the other two never even thought about doing!! We are certainly stopping now. No more!