Do you think that it is irresponsible to divorce a partner due to a lack of compatibility/passion in a?

Question

marriage if there are children involved? I read all of these statistics about how children in single parent households are far more likely to become drop-outs, criminals, et cetera. Do you think it was the divorce/physical separation or the emotional turmoil between the parents that effected these children the most? Would things change if these parents sacrificed their feelings and stayed together "for the children" or would they get even worse?

Answer 1

"It is better to be to from a broken home than in one." Dr. Phil.  

Where are you reading these statistics?  

Those stats are cherry picked.    And they talk about absent parents -  divorce does not have to mean absence.   The problem is when the non custodial parent abandons the children.

Answer 2

That's a very difficult question.  I think that in many of today's relationship there is a loss in value. By that I mean that people are so willing to dispose of an uncomfortable situation rather than to learn and rise above them.  There is a reason why you married your partner, and you have to make sure to hold onto this feeling.  You just have to try and work really hard.  No one ever said marriage is easy.  If you treat your spouse more like a lifelong "partner" perhaps both of you would be more mature and learn to be better parents by teaching your children that in life, you have to learn and grow. It's really important for you and your spouse to have more profound realizations about what it meant when you married and decided to have children.  Your children are the end product of your promise to one another.  Unless your spouse is abusive or a criminal, there is no reason to look elsewhere.  You will find that the grass is actually the same color on the other side of the fence.

Answer 3

You are looking at stats from the misogynist fathers righters. they blame "father absence" on women and feminists in particular.

social ills ARE NOT due to single mothers. sorry. there are only about 10 million single mothers. they ARE NOT responsible for society's ills: teen pregnancy, drop out rates, drug use, etc.

these fathers righters bash single mothers and indirectly & sometimes directly g*y/L*****n parents and even step fathers.

research does show a slightly higher rate for some problems in single homes but overall believe single parents can do a fine job raising children alone (there's also families where the mother or father have died - they dont get bashed, only the divorced women do--wonder why???)

anyway, it's an individual choice whether to stay or not. everyone deserves a happy life. parents can still give love and attention to their children when separated/divorced.

it's a difficult decision but one that needs soul-searching and comtemplation.

good luck and, please, be very careful about these fathers righters -- -do research on them. in australia, they've killed women, judges, they've bombed courts, they threaten with bomb scares....they are destructive rather than constructive. do some research!!

Answer 4

If you want to look at statistics, you should go to credible source.

Answer 5

Yes. If the passion is gone from your marriage, it is your own fault for letting it go. Marriage is like a garden. If you don't plant anything, nothing will grow. If you plant seeds but don't bother to water or weed, it will just be a huge mess. With some tending, a marriage doesn't have to go sour like that. But people are selfish and busy, focusing on their careers, their fulfillment, their education, their hobbies, and at the end of the day they are too tired once the kids are in bed and the chores are done to spend any quality time with their spouse.

Divorce is traumatic for kids. Probably the only time it isn't so much is when there is abuse going on. Otherwise, yeah, kids are damaged by divorce. I think it's extremely irresponsible when people would rather walk away than invest some hard work and compromise into fixing their marriage. People always say that kids do better when mommy is happier, and if that means a divorce then it's better for the kids for her to divorce. I think that is a big old load of c**p, personally. It's a flimsy excuse, an attempt to justify the divorce in the parent's mind. But it isn't true.

Anyways. This is something I feel very strongly about. I hate divorce. I hate what it does to kids. I think it should not be on the table in a marriage unless there is physical abuse going on.

Answer 6

I think it's foolish to stay in a relationship that is making you miserable, kids or not. When I'm genuinely unhappy, I am not a pleasant person to be around... which would probably make me less than successful as a parent. So, I don't think any kids of mine WOULD be better off with both parents in the house, if we did not actually love each other. I also think kids are smart enough to tell when things aren't right, so we just have to put them in the best situation we can, whether than means staying together or something else.

Answer 7

This is a tough question. Life is short. Passion and compatibility are the spice of life, are they not? I wonder what the debate would be between self-sacrifice vs. selfish and self-absorbed would be? Is there a way to satisfy self and others. It seems like this is always the conflict.

Answer 8

Children suffer through divorces as well.  They are then shoved between 2 parents with controlled visits.  A child from a single parent family might be a lot happier than an unhappy child from a 2 parent family who are in a loveless marriage.

They should not stay together for the sake of the children if there was a threat of violence or abuse.  The children come first always.

Answer 9

I'm in between on this one, it not a black or white issue.

Think to many people see divorce as part of life.  Marriage is work, hard work, and work sucks at times, and other times it's great.   Cant be there only for the good, nice concept but not realistic.

So many people in our culture live for the good, the here and now.  If I'm not happy now....thats the end.  

Lot of things can be done.....to prevent trouble in a marriage and to help repair one.

However, sometimes...it simply isnt going to work.  To much change, to much hurt, they have tried and it isnt happening.    In those cases it really is in the best interest of the kids to divorce and stay civil.

Every kid of a single parent /s isnt doomed, to life of drugs, poverty, and jail.  Majority come from that kind of home to begin with.

Answer 10

This may shock you. but I lived with 2 parents that hated each other. beat each other & when they got bored they beat me. and you know I would pray that they would get a divorce so i could have parents that were normal and didn't hate me because they were BOTH to stupid to leave each other.

And it may also shock you that I am a single mother who has a 2 year old daughter. I was NOT married just made a stupid mistake in my life. but my daughter is HAPPY, SMART but i guess i should stop trying to teach her right from wrong trying to teach her good morals and say SORRY honey since your mother is single your doomed sorry. I would rather live alone as a child then the way I lived. at least my daughter will NOT grow up in total fear of me.

Fathers are needed in a childs life that i will always say. but sometim es that can't be the case. also mothers can run out on their kids also. and single fathers have a hard time raising their kids also when your a single parent the job is a lot harder it doesn't matter if you a mother or a father. bottom line when you LOVE your children you will do what is right for them and go out of your way to make sure they are safe and happy and do the best job you can that's all any parent can do God Bless