Do you think that many men and women just "settle" and why?

Question

Why do many people settle? I'm speaking mainly of relationships. Who tends to settle more, men or women? and why?

Answer 1

Not many. Only a minority of people are that afraid of dying alone. (We ALL die alone. Face it.) As for who settles more, I think it's fairly even now, but it used to be that women settled more.

Answer 2

I believe a lot of people settle because they are afraid of being alone. Some of my friends believe it's better to be miserable and in a relationship than happy and single. I don't know how this makes sense to them, but it does. Society and family, in general, have taught us that if men and women are not married by a certain age, there's something wrong with them. That is nonsense to me.

Answer 3

distance kills thing so they settle for someone nearby.

Answer 4

I think that a lot of times they do. I think that my sister in law settled fast because she wanted to get married the year after my husband and I did. One of my sister in laws got married in 2005, we got married in 2006 and my other got married in 2007.....I think she just wanted to do it because people would joke to her right after we got married that she was going to get married next year(she wasn't seeing her husband then) and she wanted to make sure she did. I don't think it was a good choice because they are not financially stable and are in $30,000 of debt. They began dating in April, got engaged in August and got married in December.....I think that was a little too fast.

Her husband also has deep rooted problems that needed to be helped before they got married too.

Answer 5

I think that a lot of people "settle" out of loneliness.  Even if they don't mind being without a romantic partner, basic human companionship becomes scarce when you reach 35 or 40 and all your friends and relatives have families of their own and no time for you anymore.  I also think that women may settle more because of the biological clock thing.

Add:  By the way...I think that it's a good idea for you to say away from polar bears entirely!  A little furry guy like you could get squashed.  lol.

Answer 6

Yes.  As people age, they get used to a routine.  The girlfriend gets pregnant so the guy does the right thing.  Or a couple has been dating for ten years...and fall into a rut, etc.  When you are young

you say you will never settle.

Then life intervenes, sh*t happens...and you settle.  Not pretty, not always right, but it happens.

Maybe the real reason is undefined goals including what spouse/significant other that you want.

I know a lot of guys that settle but I'm no expert here.  I'd say it happens to both sexes on an equal basis.

Answer 7

I think that women tend to settle more, just from experience and from seeing a lot of my friends put up with men who don't treat them well. I think women have a mentality that it's better to be "nice" than to put their foot down and demand more from a man in a relationship. Of course, there are men out there who just put up with women's bad behavior as well, don't get me wrong.

I think people settle because they think their standards are unrealistic and so they find something that's just comfortable enough and deal with the stuff that maybe compromise their values. People don't want to be alone, and when they find someone who will accept the majority of their neuroses, they think it's the one. But we all know that we've witnessed or taken part in relationships that were absolutely nuts because the couple truly wasn't compatible.

I used to settle, to the put where I'd be completely ASHAMED of the guy I was with. At some point I got sick of being treated a certain way, and putting up with some of the habits and issues of the guy. When I decided that I deserved better, and didn't stop looking until I found just that, I found someone who makes me completely happy.

Answer 8

YES I think around 80% of people "settle". Its because of society and the media. Espeically in the last 20 years, American culture puts such a HEAVY importance on dating, romance, "love" and s*x.

People feel unimportant or inferior if they don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Its pathetic! Thats why other counties that are more focused on progression, business, techonlogy, etc. are catching up with us and passing us... We are sitting around playing high school dating games while other counties are advancing. Like I said.... pathetic!

People settle simply because they feel that they MUST be in a romantic relationship. It's part of American culture. the only problem is.. nothing will hold you back in life more than bad relationships..

Answer 9

Perhaps settle is just another way of saying become more realistic in their expectations.

Answer 10

I believe a lot of people settle because they are tired of being lonely, and perhaps because of their well meaningful friends who believe that if a person is not in a relationship then they cannot possibly be happy being single.  As if it would be better to be in a miserable relationship than no relationship at all.  Similarly, most friends and family think that if men and women are not married by a certain age, there's something wrong with them.  Just because you're alone, it does not necessarily mean you're lonely, don't you think so?  

P.S.  I can't believe you actually made that statement with a reference to a polar bear.... naughty boy! =P