Do you think that nagging a child with autism helps them to pay attention?

Question

My son has mild autism and with therapy we hope he can live as anyone with a job and a family because he has a normal IQ. I listen in outside the door at my son's school and I hear him being told,you are not paying attention over and over again. If he forgets to pick up his folder the teacher said did you forget your folder in a strong tone ,not very nice sounding. He tries very hard to please he does not complain but I am the one who does not think this is good. Am I wrong?

Answer 1

No it doesn't sound good at all. Nagging at a child with autism does not work . Gentle persuasion yes but not nagging as it causes more confusion for them. I know it does with my son. In fact my son reacts very badly to a stern voice and gets very upset and will often get violent because he gets frustrated. If I was you I would speak to the teacher about the way they he/she speaks to your son. If you get no joy with that go above her head and see someone else . I know I would. Just because your son does not complain doesn't mean that he doesn't feel it. I wish you both luck.

Answer 2

Sometimes you need to be firm with them, like any other child, but if your not comfortable with how the teacher is talking to your child you should ask them to be a little more nice..

Answer 3

No, you are absolutely correct.  Children who suffer autism need to be treated very sensitively.  Verbal bullying of this sort could force a child with certain autistic symptoms to withdraw even further into themselves.  

Some autistic children have profound sensory problems and need careful handling.

You should have a word with school.

Read this, it will explain a great deal

Hope this helps.

http://www.snowdrop.cc

Answer 4

as painful as it is to talk to a child about something they might not be able to understand with there young mind the only other person they will listen other them themself is the parent cause they know you heared or was talk to about this is they will go by guidlines of your ideas

Answer 5

Oh my goodness no your not wrong .My son Thomas is 10 and has severe autism, the teachers are very sensitive but firm with him and rather than say things over and over they use visual prompt, they will look at the class and then say 'Pick up your folder' and they will do it by them actually picking it up to show them, children with autism tend to need prompting rather than telling, if i try and tell Thomas to pick up his toys i will show him by doing a few first, it seems the teacher hasn't got the Patience or training or simply doesn't know what children with autism need

Answer 6

I think that the teacher shouldn't keep telling him over and over, but maybe she doesn't know how to help children with autism.  I think it would be helpful if she uses a notecard technique.  I've seen it in other schools.  She could put a notecard on the desk in green writing that says, I'm paying attention, I'm sitting at my desk, etc...and maybe a card that would remind him to pick up his folder.  This might help him to stay focused and it will help the teacher not loose his/her temper.  I was told by one of the teacher's that used this technique that they used it because they didn't want to nag the child because it frustrated the child and them.  The child responded well to the card.  On the other side of the card, in red, it had I'm not paying attention, I' m not sitting still, etc...

The use of red and green sometimes helps the child to realize that green behaviors are good and red behaviors are bad.  The particular child that I saw, didn't like it when the teacher flipped the card to the red side, and would pay attention better so that the card could be flipped over to the green side.

Answer 7

I think that his teacher needs to be corrected. Do they offer special classes at his school for children with autism? It sounds as if she isn't familiar with special needs at all. I think nagging a child, any child, reduces their self esteem. I realize that he may have trouble staying focused but I think their are probably better alternatives than nagging. I am fortunate enough to live in a place where we have amazing resources but not all parents are. Are you familiar with an IEP? Individual education plan? You should check into it.

Answer 8

Perhaps it is time you should be addressing the teacher who is causing you this concern..

Answer 9

NO, I do not believe this teacher is helping your son. Is he is special needs classes since he has a normal IQ? If so, I'd look at having him moved to classes where the teacher's are better trained to deal with his disorder. If he already is in special needs classes, I'd talk to the school principal about this. People with autism have low tolerances for everything, so I can't see how nagging and being crass with a child who has it is going to help him stay on task. One more thing, you might just talk to the teacher about it. It could be that she is just experiencing a little burn out and perhaps doesnt realize how harshly she is communicating with her students.

Answer 10

When I was a kid my mom would ask me to do something and then if I didn't respond right away she would say it more sternly.

I'm thousands of years older now and yet if someone raises their voice I just short circuit.  I spin in circles and can't do anything.  In the old days, in my 20's I would read something like a loud harsh voice as a threat and it would instantly trigger a fight or flight syndrome and I would beat the person up b/c my body read it as a physical attack, not just a verbal assault.

I would ask to have a conference with the teacher and in a very polite and yet demanding-as-a-concerned-mother attitude request that she change her tone and treat your son with civility.  Explain to her that he's sensitive and empathic and that he can "feel" her attitude and it makes him upset and he sometimes throws up at home due to the stress caused at school. (Most of the kids born after 1988 are Indigo Kids.  They are empathic, very able to read minds, extremely sensitive to their environment.

Wow, I'm getting the idea that I should tell you about a group that I'm in here in Yahoo.  It's the empath group.  Right now everyone in the group is all a-buzz about the Ascendance that we are entering as of April 13th, a week or so ago.  If he's been acting a bit odd as in tense, irritable, unattached, as of April 13th which was the Sunday before last, then he is most likely highly empathic.  We've been discussing how a lot of us are classified with ADD, ADHD, Asberger's Syndrome, Bi-polar disease, depression, and so on, and yet in all of us this empathic ability allows us to feel other people's thoughts, desires, wants, needs, aches, and pains, and heart-break, and everything that affects the human psyche.  Many empaths come home at night totally exhausted.  

You can go to the website,sign up if you would like to partake in the discussions.  Jan is a wonderful moderator and she will help you with anything you need as will all the other members.  I think we had about 40 people join in the last week.  With the hertz rate beginning to increase as we move to ascendance many people are being drawn into the group.  It seems to be a Law of Attraction type thing.  Everyone is googling the word Empath and finding our group.  Let me go find the email link and I'll put it on here for you ... brb ...

OK .. here we go ... :

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/?v...

Check out the above group.  There are about 100 messages a day that go thru the group so choose the delivery system you want ... either all at once each day or individual emails.  I selected individual and there are a LOT but I scan them real quick to see if any are addressed to me or if the topic is within my field and I delete the rest.  You can tell the group what is going on with your son and everyone will focus on him and give you their thoughts on what is going on.  If it strikes a cord you are welcome to stay and you'll probably like it.  If it sounds like a bunch of kooks to you then simply fade away and remove yourself.  If your son is into computers he might want to "listen in" on the group and see if anyone has a similar situation.  WE have a LOT of new members and they are all amazed that we all have the "same stuff", the "same abilities" to a point, and EVERYOnE is OPEN to EVERYTHING.  No one ever comes down on someone else and when the "tone" gets even a tad worbly, there will be apologies flying back and forth.  It's a very loving group and we all sense each other and I thinkn you son may enjoy it ... or not.  The ages range from about 16 to 80.  Most members are female.  You can check it out and just read the emails for a while until you get a feeling for the group.

I've found when a lot of the "normal" things don't work it's time to try to "abnormal" methods.  But when you consider today's society to be "normal" isn't it nice to be totally insane by their standards??  :-)

Hope this helps ... I'm in the group under the same Yahoo handle I have here, if you ever wanna holler.

:-)

Peace to all