Do you think that sometimes children begin to dislike their parents when they are to overprotective?

Question

My parents and I had a verbal agreement and I told them that I hated them it occurred because even as a 21 year old responsible college student they still try to run my life. As a teeanger I had no rigths or privileges as the other teenagers did and that made me jealous. I had to always get a crew cut every month, I could not date or go to the mall or movies alone. I was forced to attend an instate college for my first two years because my parents would not give me personal expense money had I choose to go out of state college because they had no confidence in me that I could have did well.

Answer 1

most children who have overprotective parents start to resent their parents in their teen years. some times the child will hate their parents for the rest of their lives, while others (once on their  own) forgive their parents. i think its awful because the parent is trying to show love by being protective when all the child sees is that this parent is overbearing and annoying.

Answer 2

well my parents are the same way. Im 14 now and have know life. My mom doesnt let me do hardly anything. I have no freedom shes says im too young to go to movies with friends go off the street by myself.I cant even have a boyfriend till 16 and yes i hate them sometimes because im not aloud to do anything. and i do get jealous because my friends get to do things and i cant.

Answer 3

You need your own space and life! I pretty much dislike my mother. Its too long to go into but I have really hated her and although I feel a responsibilty to her as my mother I don't love her at all and a big part of me has always yearned to escape as far as possible! When I was looking into going to University I was at one point going to pick one far up north to get away, but then I changed my mind only for her to say that she had planned to move up there with me! YIKES!

Since I moved out I no longer  hate her because I can run my own life and choose when I want to talk to her etc

Your childhood concerns will only remain an issue if you hold onto them and that will stop you moving forwards. Since I became a parent myself I do understand more of what my mum's decisions were for and why. Yours did what they felt best so you can't fault them for that. Just move on and SHOW them you are in control of your life and don't need their input and they will finally feel their job is done!

Answer 4

Tell them if they want you to become an adult, they need to treat you like one.  Of course, you need to act like one.  Reassure them they're still the first people you go to if you need help.

Answer 5

My husband had extremely overprotective parents also, he is 25 now and of course he loves his parents but he sure doesnt like them.  He avoids them at all costs.  They still have 5 more in the house who are all home schooled and not allowed to do anything, the girls cant even wear pants, they have to wear long skirts.  We are waiting to see which ones will rebel.  I feel that you should give your child a "leash" and let them run with it, when they show you that they cant be trusted you pull it in a bit, but if they are trustworthy you give them some more slack.

Answer 6

It sounds like you need to have a little chat with the folks!  They can't hold on to you forever and you can't let them.  Maybe you should just go off and do your own thing and show them (whether they like it or not) that you can be independent and successful!

As far as hating your parents, I don't know if that will solve anything.

Answer 7

Do you mean verbal argument?

I think every kid goes through the "I hate you" several times.  From what I've seen this occurs as much or more when kids have parents who spoil them or give them anything they want.

My parents didn't pay a penny towards my college, much less give me spending money!  They also would never pay for a haircut for me - I was a girl and could have long hair or let my mom cut it (heaven forbid!)  I also couldn't date until I was 16, and even then it had to be approved guys going to an approved chaperoned sort of place for an approved amount of time...  almost more bother than it was worth.

Crew cuts are nice in my opinion.  Long scraggly hair is not.

I had a good friend whose parents pay for everything and anything and she would have fights with her parents more than I had with mine - and we were similar sort of people.  

The way I figure it (now that I'm 25 and my Dad's passed away) is that as long as they are paying for anything in your life they are also paying for a say in how you spend their money.  Maybe just a small say, such as college, but it's their money, not yours.  You haven't earned money yet.  Sorry for the bluntness of real life - love is love, but money is money.  You're dealing with the real world now, and understanding it will help you to see your parents as equals.  They make money, budget, and dream of nice retirement vacations.

Think about it in reverse - when they're old and spending YOUR money, are you going to let them pick an expensive luxury nursing home if you have a nice apartment attached to your house that you want them to stay in?  

It's humbling to remember that you are only on your own when you aren't spending their money.  This is a commercialized world, no matter how much love there is.  Money restricts us.

Answer 8

You are an adult and your parents should be able to respect that, but since they are paying for your education they do have some say in the matter. It is too bad that they were so strict when you were growing up. Try to be calm when you explain to them how you feel rather than saying rash and immature things like you "hate" them. That just makes you sound childish. Your grammar also needs some work.

Answer 9

I would dislike my parents too if they were that way. If you never get away from your parents, you are never gonna learn how to be independent, and responsible. They are right though, if you stayed to go to an istate college just because of the personal expense money, then you obviously dont think you could do well on your own. What you need to do is get a job, and go to school, that way you dont have to ask them for money and eventually you will be able to live on your own.