Do you think that the person we dislike most in life is your best teacher?

Question

Do you think that the person we dislike most in life is your best teacher?

Answer 1

The only thing I learn about it is to avoid them as much as you can, & it will save you trouble of all kinds.

Answer 2

I think that in all circumstances in life there is something that can be learned and often we can find some level of growth through it all. Sometimes the lesson is not to be like that person.

Answer 3

Duh...No.

Answer 4

Now there's a perplexing question!

And, as is quite typical in my replies, my initial response is "that depends ...."

In my view it depends on the category we have the so-called "disliked person" associated with ... that is, someone may dislike a parent -for good or not-so-good reasons (parent is abusive or parent is role-modeling right versus wrong).  Or someone may dislike a politician, neighbor, relative, TV show host, writer of a best-seller ... and the list could go on .... So, what seems (to me) to be necessary in order to provide a sincere answer is to look again at your question for clues.

As such, the clue to a reasonable response is to base my reply on "person we dislike most in life" and make some assumptions regarding that phrase.  

That phrase implies a relationship that is longer than a one-night-stand, a weekend at Maude's, or a 16-week study abroad program. That is, the "most in life" part conveys a sense of permanence, sustainability ... a sense that this disliked person is a part of your life and much more so than someone who floats in and out on an irregular basis.  As such, the field of potential "disliked persons" now is remarkably narrow.

And that leaves us with a few selections, i) parents, ii) siblings, iii) spouse, iv) extended family ... including in-laws, v) mentors, vi) religious leaders and, maybe vii) bosses.

Now comes the tricky part ... more like a conundrum.  Where is the dislike rooted?  For example, if the dislike is rooted in the fact that you may be an oppositional child -regardless of age- and your mom or dad continues to exert influence on you to "come to your senses" or "take responsibility for your actions" then it's quite possible that the "person we dislike most in life is your best teacher."

Or you may be in a long-term, abusive marriage and you truly dislike -even abhor- your husband.  Is there learning (teaching) that occurs in such a situation?  I'd argue that there is and the teaching may be the spillover effects of such a relationship -or series of relationships- and the learning is coming from someone who has -over time- gone from a partner and lover to someone you dislike.

As such, it gets back to (for me, anyway) "that depends."  At a minimum, your question is one of those proverbial, philosophical inquiries that generate endless debate -I like it!

Answer 5

only to the extent that they inadvertently "teach" you how NOT to be..you know? i do think that the best life teacher is experience..no one person can teach you what is possible to learn on your own, to the extent of how you can learn it on your own, whether through painful or positive experience.

Answer 6

I don't think that, but the truth is that she/he learns you not to do some thinks you disapprove or dislike when seeing at other people.

Answer 7

Our defects surface to the conscious level because of them,

so we must be greatful to them.

Answer 8

i guess so, because we learn not to be like them :)  

Answer 9

Occasionally - they might serve as an example what NOT to do, for example.

Answer 10

That is so true. I was just thinking of a girl I dislike. Actually, a girl that dislikes me. And yeah, she has taught me not to ever be like her. We don't talk but I see her everyday and she is the epitome of what I don't want to be.

Answer 11

Not necessarily - although we can learn much from people we don't like, we can learn just as much from people we get along with...maybe more, for much of the time, because we are more willing to listen to someone we admire.

Answer 12

It's been said that Hate is the highest form of love.

Answer 13

I absolutely do think this is true. Actually, everyone and everything can be seen as a teacher in this life, but those "burrs under our saddle" are the ones that really have something to show us about ourselves. If we just ask the question, "Why is this person here right now?" We will know, and then we can move towards learning what we need to learn from them and from the situations we find ourselves in with them.