Do you think that this is abuse? ?

Question

I am 13 years old and in 9th grade.

When I get in trouble, my dad makes me get in just my boxers, and then I have to bend over. He puts his left arm around me so I don't move and with his right hand he spanks me with his belt. He hits me 13 times (one for each year of my age). Then he just leaves me there in the living room crying and with my bottom really stinging. My 2 older brothers always see me either getting the spanking and I don't think it's fair because they don't get spanked. Do you think I'm abused?

Answer 1

Yes it is. Try the kids help phone line in your area. You can also talk to your mother. There is also your school councillor. If all else fails contact social services

Answer 2

The law would consider this abusive. Why is it that your brothers dont get hit and  you do? Are you the black sheep? All I can say is, yes it sounds terrible, and yes the law will be on your side. Other than that, start doing squats, tighten that butt so when he hits you it wont hurt as much... poor baby

Answer 3

NZ99, pretty close call.  However; you may want to take a good long look at consequences of reporting your dad's behaviour to the authorities.  Remember that although you feel that you are being embarrassed etc. in front of your siblings that if you do report him that either he or you will be removed from the family home.  After that you will each have to report to the courts and if found guilty of abusing you he may very well be sentenced to penal confinement.  He will not be allowed to have contact with your siblings alone either and will only be allowed to see them under supervision.  Obviously your parents will probably divorce and your dad will be registered as a child abuser for the remainder of his life.  Now I in no way am trying to say that I approve of child abuse or your dad's behaviour but am only stating the dangers of reporting this form of parenting.  I have a friend who's little daughter did report him after she was giving a spanking years ago.  She was removed from the house and placed into foster care and they had to go to court etc.  He was found  not guilty of abuse and she felt awful for reporting him afterwards, but then it was to late as the ball was already in action.  So if you feel that your are seriously being abused and that you or your siblings lives may be in danger because of this man then certainly report it.  But if you are pretty sure that this is your father's way of trying to control your behaviour at times and that it is often warranted then you cannot in good conscious report this.  Back a couple of decades ago this form of parenting was the norm and many of those kids today are parents and still use this form of behaviour management.  Take your time before making a decision on this and be honest with yourself.  Best of luck.

Answer 4

My parents spank me but not like that.  Check the laws in your area.