Do you think that women can put themselves into certain situations like

Question

one that would be likely that they could get raped?

For example, if you're a single woman and you go out to the bars all by yourself and meet some guy and accept a drink from him (he brought it to you), don't you think you could be putting yourself into a bad situation?

I mean, unless you are not using common sense, then you should know that something like that could happen. And no, I'm not saying that because a girl goes to the bar she is asking to be raped.

What I'm saying is, I feel that more rapes (Not all rapes) come out of alcohol induced situations and women should be more aware of their surroundings and not let their guard down. Do women wake up and regret sleeping with some random guy and cry rape because they know they can?

*Please note, this is about alcohol related rapes only

I would like to hear other's thoughts and opinions on this, thanks!

Answer 1

Yes, women should take care not to put themselves in situations where they can be harmed in anyway.  Men should do the same.  I think we all know the dangers that lurk in our world today.

The same can be said for anyone getting drunk and getting into a car, or for that matter even drinking enough to have your judgment impaired.

Much death and crime is related to alcohol consumption.  I think rather than relating it just to rape I would say that we all need to be aware that we are taking a risk with excessive drinking.

Answer 2

Well, no one can ever be completely safe.

I'm sure there are women who wake up, regret the previous night, and cry rape, and yes, that's a terrible thing to do, but here's the thing:  most women who regret an alcohol induced one nighter will just forget about it- few of them are going to "cry rape."  However, most women who are actually raped will not report it and will keep it as their shameful secret and blame themselves for the rest of their life.  I think that might be worse.

Answer 3

I agree that many women juiced up on alcohol, have s*x, then regret it later.  If the man did not use any force, intimidation, or threat of violence, then the devil with Ms. Dworkin, she was not raped.

As for siiting in a bar, having a drink is having a drink.  If the lady has some suspicion that he wants more, yes, then she put herself in a bad situation.  But no still means no.

And even when using common sense, when you are with a trusted relative, or male best friend, you certainly cannot blame alcohol on anything.  He should not try or ask, and if she said no, he should have stopped.

Answer 4

Sure, the movie "The Accused" with Jodie Foster is a prime example.

Just like we should look both ways before we cross the street or wade in before we dive in... we should always have some level of situational awareness.

Remember, it takes two to tango.

Good luck !

Answer 5

Doesn't matter if she walks into the bar naked- men have the obligation to control themselves.  

Answer 6

You never know how far you are away from a psychopath, I know a British women who took all her clothes off on a beach in a muslin country, there were hundreds of people around and unfortunately one was a mental patient, she was raped, he was charged with the rape and she was charged with incitement and public order offences, proper order too, we all have to be responsible.  

Answer 7

she was still raped none the less yes she should have been a little wiser but she certainly wasn't asking for it.

Answer 8

Can women put themselves in this situation? Yes, of course.

Life is about putting ourselves in danger. We do it every day. I used to go to bars sometimes by myself when I was single. One night I was attacked. That's the risk I took. I'm not going to stop walking around by myself at night because I might be attacked. If I thought like that I would never leave my flat again. At the same time I don't take unnecessary risks. I don't walk through risky areas of unknown cities at night. I don't get into cars with strangers.

BEING RAPED AND HAVING s*x YOU REGRET ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. There's a grey area when it comes to coercion and one party being more drunk than the other, but rape is rape. You wouldn't blame a drunk man for being stabbed. Why blame a drunk woman for being raped? Difference? It is ALWAYS the criminal that is fault.

Yes, some women falsely accuse. I know one man that has been a victim of this. I have nothing but contempt and disgust for these girls/women. They ruin men's lives and they prevent genuine rape victims from being believed.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, a lot of this depends on how 'street smart' a person is. The basic premise applies also to muggings, assault and any kind of opportunistic crime. Some people are simply not brought up to be aware of themselves and their surroundings - plus, adding alcohol to the situation just blurs the lines even more, which is the main reason I think that more rapes occur around bars and parties. This is why it's important to bring a friend with you to the bar who will keep an eye on you if you get sloshed!  

Answer 10

Yes, there are things women can do to avoid situations like that. Nonetheless, there is absolutely no justification for rape.

Answer 11

Yes, a lot of single women win dup in this situation.  They pick up a stranger in a bar and the next day of course it's like the Rashomon story, she says it's rape and he can't remember...who knows?

I don't doubt that the women make up the rape story out of guilt and embarrassment, but since both parties are usually fairly under the influence, no one can really know.

The guy is in trouble, though if she goes to the police, essentially he's guilty until proven innocent in practice.   At the least it's going to cost him so much to take it to trial that he winds up paying her off for her silence.

All in all a pretty pathetic fact, that so many women are getting involved in this scene.

Answer 12

Everyone should be aware of their surroundings at all times. I think most people tend to forget that alcohol and drugs impair judgment, so while they may feel good in the moment and are having a great time, their ability to make sound decisions and judgments are impaired. Research has shown that most rapes involve alcohol, which makes it even more critical for women and men to drink in moderation and respect each other's limits.

Answer 13

I think all people should be aware of their surroundings and avoid putting them selves at risk. But as for false reports, I'm not sure what causes them, but I am sure we should not assume woman who wake up with a guy and regret it will cry rape.

Answer 14

No question about it rape is a terrible crime and unfortunately women need to protect themselves as much as possible against sexual crime and this means not getting so drunk that you don't know what you are doing or accepting drinks of strangers who have the opportunity to put a date rape drug in your drink.  It means sensible drinking and sticking with your mates and making sure that you all have transport home arranged.  It means not going off with a guy you just met - if he's worth anything then give him your fone number.

You could use the same argument that no one has the right to steal your car, but nevertheless you take steps to safeguard if from theft such as locking the doors, not leaving valuables on show and maybe having an alarm and girls you have to safeguard yourselves.

   Personally I hate the binge drinking thuggish loutish behaviour that goes in the UK and the girls are getting just as bad as the boys, if not worse.

Answer 15

Why doesn't anyone ever ask about the man who is so drunk he can't keep is sexual aggression under control?

Maybe men shouldn't put themselves in the situation where they buy women drinks and then have drinks themselves and lose control of their senses and "accidentally" become rapists.  Maybe the man shouldn't go to a bar alone if he can't be trusted to keep his thing in his pants.  

What do you think of that for a change?  How about we don't blame the victims?  There's a novel idea.

Answer 16

Welcome to the real world, where people don't always act in accordance with common sense... especially when alcohol or drugs are introduced.

Edit: "If the man did not use any force, intimidation, or threat of violence, then the devil with Ms. Dworkin, she was not raped." - [Quote] Nicholson

By that definiton, having s*x with a woman who is unconscious wouldn't count as rape.