McCain: I want Lieberman.
Schmidt: Shut up, you old fool. He's pro-choice.
McCain: Then I want Ridge.
Schmidt: HELLO. What did I just say?
McCain: Then I want Huckabee.
Schmidt: You WANT to look like an even bigger idiot when you speak?
McCain: Well who should I pick then.
Schmidt: Well, Romney's too rich and too Mormon. I got it! Let's pick a woman to go for those Hillary supporters, but an anti-abortion-rights woman so we don't lose the fundamentalist vote. [To campaign staff] Quick! Look through the list of all governors, Congresswomen, state legislators, dog catchers, whatever. Find me a young, anti-abortion rights woman.
Campaign staffer: Sir, there's Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska.
Schmidt: Who the h**l is that?
Campaign staffer: Well, she's anti-abortion-rights, and she's young, and a woman.
Schmidt: Grrr. Let me see a picture. Wow, she's hot!
Campaign staffer: And she hunts, sir.
Schmidt: Great pick! Get her on the phone.
McCain: But isn't she inexperienced? How are we going to attack Obama now?
Schmidt: Shut up, you old fool.
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