Do you think there's anything wrong with our relationship?

Question

some of my friends and family say there is something wrong with my 'fiance' and my's relationship.

we have 1 kid, due in sept. with another but we aren't married however we talk like we will be 'oh, when we're married we'll get a bigger house' etc. although he says stuff like that too, he's never proposed, it's just assumed. we work extremely well together because we are exactly alike. we yell at each other and crack jokes at eachothers expense but they don't hurt. we're not abusive, we don't physically hurt eachother. we constantly play tricks on eachother, i.e. the other day i was finally sleeping and he sent our daughter in to wake me up, so i bbolted the door shut and he had to sleep on the couch. that was really funny. so to get me back he got rid of all the ketchup... made me sooo mad. but then we do nice things for eachother. like for example im not allowed to move around much, per the doctors requests so he moved the tv in here and bought me an a/c because it's sweltering. and we rarely ever tell eachother our feelings. we sarcastically say 'oh, i /love/ that' but we never tell eachother 'i love you.' unless it's in a condesending way after one of us screws up. we have in the past cheated on eachother (just kissing tho) but we don't really care... kissing's fine with both of us. and we try not to fight or be mean to eachother in front of our 3 year old... we are both excellent parents to her. i think that by yelling/teasing eachother we take out all of that so we don't abuse her... we both have slight anger/temperment problems. so what do you think? is there anything wrong with us?

i know hes committed to me, and even if, -knock on wood- we broke apart i know he'd still be in our daughters lives. he cares more about our 3 year old than anything else and he's already doing everythgin he can for this baby. it's just -our- relationship people seem to have a problem with.

Answer 1

children out of wedlock are called b******s and you should think more about their future and less about the game playing

Answer 2

Are you serious with this???

Consider your children - is the relationship you two have the kind you'd wish for your kids?  You need to be mindful of what example you're giving them.  Personally, I would want my kids to see a loving and kind relationship, full of respect, between the parents - whether married or not.  No matter how the two of you actually feel about each other, it doesn't sound like your kids see your relationship as loving, kind, or respectful.  

Answer 3

If you've been together that long and with kids, etc., you guys need to c**p or get off the pot if you really love one another.  Only people holding out to make sure nothing better comes along wait that long.  Tell him you love him if you do and see if he loves you too.  Honestly you both sound immature to me.  And your kids are not seeing a good example of what a truly committed relationship between a stable couple should be.  

Sit him down and have a serious talk with him about love...about his feelings and your feelings.  Set a date two weeks from now and either elope or do a courthouse wedding and get married if you two are serious about being committed to one another, and if you're not, then split...quit wasting time playing house and playing at a relationship.

Sorry so blunt, but if you're on Answers asking if there's something wrong with your relationship, the truth is that in the back of your head obviously you're wondering yourself.  Do the above steps and figure it out.  

Answer 4

it sounds as if you two are very young, but that may not be the case. i think its a big mistake to assume that because you are living with a guy, and having his children, that he will marry you. there are many women out there that have been shacked up for over 10 years, and they are still waiting for the guy to marry them. if marriage was part of your plan, you should have waited for him to commit to you before you had kids. i guess you have to decide what is right for you-if you dont really care about being married, then you have exactly what you want now. if marriage is very important to you, then i guess you will have to tell him that he has to marry you or you are going to leave. it sounds as if living common law is alright with you, so unless you are sure, i wouldnt give him an ultimatum.  

Answer 5

What works for you may not work for everyone. I live with my B F of 6 years and we are raising our grandson. I say our even though he is my grandson. He treats me well, not abusive, controlling, mean ect. We have talked about getting married. Even have a ring. But more than likely will not. I have been married 2 times before and he has never been .At 48 really don't see the need. A lot of people will say you need to be married to live together. Especially with kids. But you need to do whats right for you. in our relationship we have found 2 people that want the same things in life. We don't even have sexual relations by choice. People think it;s strange and not normal. But if we are happy with it then why should they care. Do what you feel is right. marriage is over rated.