Do you think there is a difference between having a baby in your teens and early 20's?

Question

Just wondering. Im not sure what I think. Im almost 21, and my husband is 23. I am not pregnant yet, but plan to get pregnant next year, so I will be 21 or 22 when the baby is born.

Im just asking this because I know I much much wiser than I was 5 years ago, however I still do not feel much different. I still feel like I am very young, but ready to have my first child. I graduated high school early at the age of 16, and got married at 18. Im in a very stable relationship with my husband too.

It's just that I know this 18 year old(im not trying to judge teen moms because I know that they are all different) that tries to hang around with me, and she tells me about how she is already ready for her 3rd child, and to me..she is the most immature dramatic person I know.

To sum it all up....I just don't want to be looked down on because I am having a baby young. I mean, this other girl got married after she had her baby, but tells me that she did all this stuff before, and also tells me that she feels like she has not yet accomplished anything she has wanted to accomplish. She dosn't really make any sense at all to me. BUT, I just don't want to be like her when I have a baby. I don't want my parents freaking out because Im young or something. (my aunt and uncle had their first baby last year in their mid 30's and early 40's), so all my family wants me to follow in their footsteps!

Answer 1

Sounds like you've got a good mature head on your shoulders and are being responsible enough to give it some good thought--something most 15 year olds don't do.

It is funny to me you say you feel wiser. Trust me, when you are 25, you'll look back at being 21 and think, "I can't believe I thought I was wiser." Then you'll be 35 and laugh at the fact you thought you had it all figured out 10 years ago.

At 38, I've resolved myself to the fact that I'll probably never have "it" all down. (Whatever it is.)

Good luck to you. To me, 21 is young, but not too young, especially when the 21 year old in question is responsible, mature, and has the desire to want to get "it" right.  

Answer 2

Absolutely. My husband and I are both 23 and had our first this year. You can think you're ready for a baby when you're 15 all you want but it's really not the case. I'm more mature and responsible now. I know how to put my baby first and myself second. I go without on a lot of things and I'm pretty selfless now. I don't think a lot of teenagers can think that way, and that's fine because they shouldn't have to.

Answer 3

The difference is maturity level, of course, and teens have different nutritional needs than a woman in her twenties. Then you can throw in finacial and emotional stability, how most teens tend to eat compared to someone who is more educated about nutrition. I would assume most mature moms are seeking medical care earlier too. It is almost always higher risk before 17-18 yrs old, just as it would be for a woman over age 35. There are just more risk factors when women aren't from say 18 - 34, statistacally.

Lots of teen moms have done a fantastic job and overcome the odds though. My grandmother married at 16 and had 6 children (the first at 17) - all healthy, bright and became successful in life. She did a fantastic job for her age. Her youngest was born when she was 33.

I was 19 (almost 20) but I was married, stable and we planned all of our children. We wanted to have them 2 yrs apart, while we were in our 20's and we did! We are now 37 and 38 and look forward to having them be in college when we're in our 40's - we can do whatever we want then and it feels great! Some of our friends are just starting! I loved being a young mom and having lots of energy to keep up with my kids. They are all brilliant scholars and musicians - our oldest just returned from Europe as an ambassador of music. It's all about focusing on your family and being involved as parents. My house is the house all the teens hang out at because it's safe, we're home and we care. It's chaotic and busy but I love it!  

Answer 4

I think it's very different. I was 20 when I had my son. At even 18  I don't think I would have handled having a baby near as well as I can now. I'm 21, my husband is 33, and our son is 11 months old. I don't think it's nec. that being in your 20s makes you a better parent...it's all on an individual level. At 18 (or 15 for your question) I wasn't nearly ready. I hit 20 and knew I was ready. I don't think most 15 year olds are ready physically or mentally.

Answer 5

I think there is a HUGE difference between a 15 y/o and a 22y/o having a baby! I was 22 when I got pregnant with my son. 5 year before that I was a selfish arrogant partying student that spent all her time and money drinking or smoking pot. I am so glad that some of my stupid decisions didnt come to haunt me with a child then. I think a person does ALOT of growing up in their late teens and early 20s and that is something that is needed for a child. You cant be a selfish person and a mother... it just doesnt work well. Some people stand up and grow up real fast becauset they have to, and when it comes down to it I think thats amazing, I dont know that I would have been able to at that age.

Answer 6

A teenager is often not emotionally or financially ready to have a child. However there are a few exceptions. For example, I got pregnant with my son when I was 17. I also moved out before then, and was supporting myself. I am happily married to his father, and am a full time college student. He's a healthy 4 month old baby boy now, and I am 18.

I feel like there are things I haven't accomplished yet(like finishing college), but I am doing it- AND raising my son. There are many options for women today. I take my classes online so I can be with my son all day. I even go without styling my hair or any makeup anymore, because I have something far more important to take care of. I had to quit working, but my husband brings in enough money for us to be comfortable.

Older women having children (30-40's) are usually more emotionally and financially stable than teenagers. However, the older you are, the greater the risk of physical and mental complications with your child. One study showed that women are most physically ready for children between the ages of 18-25. NOTE: I did not say financially ready, did I? So no one should even bother jumping my case. The reason for this is your ovary chooses the best egg with the best genes at your first period, during your first ovulation. During your next ovulation, it chooses the next best egg, and so on.

You should have a child when YOU are comfortable with it, not your family. It's your life and your decision- no one can make it for you. Just make sure you can afford all the formula and diapers- and they only get more expensive, or so I hear lol.

Answer 7

Yes there is a difference. That maturity you mention is a really phenomenon and you will continue to grow and mature as you age. What is important to you now will change and evolve as you continue to grow and mature.

I think there is a big difference between teen parents and parents in their early twenties. I also think there is a big difference from those groups to late twenties and thirties and so on. If you were asking me exactly what I thought you should do I would say this:

Enjoy yourself and your husband for a few more years. Travel have adventures and build a bond so strong and deep that when baby does happen your foundation is solid and you marriage won't suffer like so many others do. Your children will eventually thank you for it.

Answer 8

There is a huge difference between a 15 year old having a baby and a 22 year old.

At the age of 15 a girl's body is still growing and maturing, she has very little life experience, is still a child herself and has not got the ability to support herself and a baby.

On the other hand a young woman of 22 who, such as yourself, is in a stable marriage, who had completed her education, has worked for a few years, has more life experience, has maturity, more patience, has the ability to support herself and a baby.

Like you, I had finished school at 16, was working full-time when I met my husband, got married at 18, had my first child at 21 and my second child at 24 - we had a lot of fun with our kids!  

Answer 9

Sure is.  My cousin had her 1st at 15...I couldn't imagine it.  I was trying to get my license, hang out with friends, etc.  Now that over 10 yrs has passed...I know there is no possible way I could have done it, which is why I didn't.  I became wiser and I have seen and accomplished a lot in life.

If you have done what you wanted in life and feel u are ready, nothing can stop u from having a baby.  You can't live your life for your family or any one else but u.