Do you think theses are good poems?

Question

i'm want to enter my poems for a competition, do you think either of these are okay and any tips?

Heart Burn

The curdling and piercing flame within

Flickering in shades of scarlet and orange

Gnaws at the edges of a beating organ

Contorting every pulse and taunting it into shame

A pair of eyes fuels and electrifies the fire within

Causing a rush of light headed energy to surge through the bodice

Labour no longer has meaning and pain almost non existent

Eternal happiness appears to be in reach

Yet something causes the blaze to sear with rage

Scorching and singeing at the now pleading heart

Each pulse now a shiver or tremble

Beautiful Bird

I lay my head upon your soft feathered back,

immense and blanched you soar ,

across an immaculate nights sky

My heart is weeping silently and your warmth sooths its scars

I cling onto hope, freedom and dignity

I grasp pleading to flee the malicious claws of rejection

You soar and sweep down, and gently glide through the sky

I am slowly drifting away, unfathomable

Beautiful bird, do you feel pain too?

Beautiful bird, do you have a companion?

I can’t see why you should ever have to shed a tear

Beautiful bird, lead me away from this gnawing fear

You bathe in a foamy and fluffy congregation of delicate clouds

The wind whispers delicate sweet nothings into your ears

In darkness, you stream through tiny white crystals scattered in a black sky

And visit a glowing moon’s pallid and graceful face

Answer 1

holy c**p those are AWESOME!

You better enter these into the competition and u better win or im going down their and killing all of the judges

Answer 2

I really like them, you should keep writing.

Answer 3

yea they are so kool

Answer 4

Wow they are excellent.  They really show meaning and you can tell a lot of consideration has gone into your work.  You convey emotion very well.

You should totally enter it for that competition.  Good luck.

*Angel*

Answer 5

i believe you should always try. enter them for sure. i love all the imagery and metaphors in "beautiful bird". the repetition serves that sense of longing. :)