Do you think this Introduction is alright???

Question

dear class,

My name is (it says my whole name).the meaning of my name is pure.The meaning of my last name is having will.My mom and grandmother named me.They named me(my name) because they couldn't find another.I like my name.

I love to swim and ride my bike.I have 1 dog,4 cats,and 2 older cats.I like pop,rock,country,and alternative music.I like to read science fiction,fiction,non fiction and mystery books.

that's all i have right now what else should i add????

Answer 1

How about this?  

   I like my name!! My first name is ( first name), which means Pure. My last name is ( last name), which means Having Will. My name was given to me by my mother and grandmother.

  My hobbies are swimming, riding my bike, listening to music, and reading. Types of music I listen to: pop, country, rock, and alternative rock. Types of reading I enjoy: sci-fi,fiction, non-fiction, and mystery.

Answer 2

I think it's nice and straightforward. What do you mean they couldn't find another? Do you mean they couldn't think of a better name? If so, you really don't have to explain that because we all stop when we've decided we've come up with best name.

Do you have an unusual first name? If so, maybe you could substitute a sentence or two -- maybe something humorous about how some people mispronounce your name.

If you want to add more at the end, say something about your family situation.

Answer 3

Wait, wait...stop saying my name so much, say

My name is ________, it means pure. My last name means will. If you put it together my name would mean Pure Will! :) My Mother and grandmother came up with _______, they tell me that's my name because they couldn't find another one.

Some of my favorite activity's are swimming, and going bike riding. I have quite a few pets, which are 4 young cat, 2 old one, which are 6 cats total and 1 dog. Right now my favorite genre  of music includes pop, rock, country and alt. music (I'm not very picky) :) I love to read science fiction, fiction, and mystery books.

(Now here r some tips)

STOP LISTING SO MANY THINGS! you dint want to sound like your reading a list, put 1 or 2 of your favorite things.

And now for the next paragraph go into something you enjoy doing with your family. and maybe where is your favorite place to go. talk a little more about your life

and not to be mean, just curious what grade r u in. cuz if your in lower grades then thats fine