Do you think this is a good translation spanish - english?

Question

It's a shortened short story, here it is in spanish: http://es.shvoong.com/books/short-story-novella/1825494-hasta-nunca/

and here in english: http://www.shvoong.com/books/short-story-novella/1825489-/

Thank you for your time!

Answer 1

There is a mismatch at the end of FIRST paragraph:

In english it reads: "bought a radio and a wristwatch, jewels for his lady friends, and enjoyed the way of life."

In spanish it reads: "se compró una radio, y un reloj de pulsera, y disfrutó del modo de vida."

In spanish the whole thing means that she enjoyed his new life buying things for HER (selfish) , and in english meant she took care for other people (lady friends).

There is a another mismatch at SECOND paragraph:

In english it reads: "the shiny kitchen, the lynoleum, the plentiful table at which Mrs. O’Brian’s children are eating their steak."

In spanish it reads: "la brillante cocina, la mesa bien surtida en la que los hijos de la Sra. O’Brien están comiendo sus filetes."

When they did the translation they forgot about the "lynoleum". The word in spanish is "linóleo".

The fifth paragraph is a mess. It´s a whole different from the english story.

In english it is written: "The police officers take Mr. Ramirez away, Mrs. O’Brian returns to her children, to her steak, but she stares at the closed door and drops her knife and fork. “What’s wrong, Ma?” -asks her son. “I just realized,I'll never see Mr. Ramirez again.”

In spanish, it should be:

"Los policías se llevan al Sr. Ramirez, la Sra. O’Brian vuelve con sus hijos, a su filete, pero fija su mirada en la puerta cerrada dejando caer su cuchillo y tenedor. “¿Qué pasa, Ma?” -pregunta su hijo. “Acabo de caer en la cuenta de que nunca más veré al Sr. Ramirez.”

The spanish version reads that "the police officers smiled when they heard that not well spoken phrase".

"Su sonrisa se desvanece pronto", meaning their smile (police officers) wipe away soon. That is not in the english version.

"La Sra. O’Brian vuelve a su brillante cocina", meaning Mrs. Obrian returns to her shiny kitchen.

In the english story Mrs. Obrain returns to "her children".

Last, but not least, in the spanish translation it reads: "dejando los cubiertos sobre la mesa". That means "she left the cutlery over the table". The story in english tells that she "..drops her knife and fork."

The english author meant with this "astonishment" because when you use knife and fork, that means you are using both hands to eat and if you dropped BOTH of them is because your hands were open.

So it must in spanish "dejando caer su cuchillo y tenedor".

Another thing, you have to write Ramírez, with "tilde" en la "i" and in the spanish translation fifth paragraph,"..se llevan al Sr. Ramirez" you have to put a dot after Ramirez. So it will read "se llevan al Sr. Ramírez. La Sra. O´Brian vuelve a su brillante cocina..." You have to put a dot there because you are finishing and idea and beginning another.

As far as i can see both stories are a summary from the original, and they are truthful to Ray Bradbury story. But they are not truthful one to another. Spanish to english. But as i said, they are both truthful to the original.

I hope this helps....did i earned 10 points????