Do you think this is an appropriate punishment?

Question

My daughter is 8 years old and in the second grade. I got a phone call today from the Vice Principal saying that she is being suspended for 3 days for "destruction of personal property". My daughter has NEVER been in any trouble other than being reprimanded for excessive talking. She wrote the word "loser" on some kid's T-shirt. Now this shirt that she wrote on is a "field day" shirt and kids were allowed to sign other kids' shirts. Now I am not saying what she did was okay, she should be punished for it. But I think that a 3 day suspension is a little over the top. I don't understand how they can classify it as destruction of property when other kids wrote on his shirt. Yes, the comment was inappropriate, and I don't have a problem with her being sent home for the day. I do have a call into the principal to discuss it. Also, let me make it clear ... I do think she was in the wrong, I just don't think she should be suspended for 3 days. Here is the course of action I am

Answer 1

That is more like bullying than destruction of personal property.  I think it really depends on how your daughter meant it.  I mean was this a child that is picked on, and your daughter thought it'd be "cool" to add loser on his shirt, for a laugh by the other kids or whatnot.  Or was this kid a friend of hers and it was a joke between them 2, or something like that.  I mean did it bother the child or was it just noticed by a teacher who asked who wrote it?  The punishment seems a little harsh, but I think it depends on the situation on which it occurred.

Answer 2

You are maming a big deal about it,

Its okay that she expressed herself and the principal made a big deal.

BUT WHATS DONE IS DONE: Whip her like a horse.e

Answer 3

Stand up for what you think is right. For an 8 year old it is a bit excessive. Calling someone a 'loser' by today's standards can be taken either way. It can be said in a joking way, unless the kid really was a creep and your daughter wanted him to leave her alone. Was the comment really inappropriate? Was she playing around with this kid? Or did the kid go crying to his teacher? If he did, then your daughter was probably right on the money with her comment! If the principal insists on giving her three days off, you may want to check and make sure the crybaby's parents aren't behind it. Don't let your daughter be the scapegoat so the principal can save face. I'm sure she didn't tackle the kid to the ground or anything to write 'loser" on his shirt.

Answer 4

Your suggestion is right on the mark. The punishment given by the school is clearly excessive.

Answer 5

I think the punishment is a little extreme...

Is there other forms of punishment the school offers?  Or is suspension the only thing they've got?

Answer 6

If you were smart you would back up the punishment, support the decision the school has made - you'll be teaching her to respect authority and I'll bet you'll never have to worry about her acting wrong in school again.

Answer 7

Maybe they are looking at it more as bullying more than anything else. I sure as heck would feel rotten if my kid came home with loser written on his/her t-shirt, especially if she/he was bothered by it. The child may have said something about not liking it being on his shirt and it snowballed from there. There are anti-bullying laws being put into effect all over the US from grades K and up. It's very serious. Three days is quite a bit, but maybe they're making an example of your daughter to send a message.

Answer 8

SHEESH  schools ignore bullying, fighting, and everything else, but do this? This is crazy. But it's how schools are though!

I would read over the school policy about 'personal property'.

It probably means SCHOOL personal property.

I would also get the written disclipline policy for suspensions.

If what she did is not listed as a reason to get suspended, you can fight it.

Answer 9

I understand that her mom you just want the world to be fair....however...so do other parents...I think the school has to take a hard line early...If it were your child that had that done to her I imagine your responce would be different...Here is the deal...I bet she thinks twice next time or gets worse...Either way you as a parent will know which track you need to take with you daughter..

Answer 10

The school is probably being a little over the top, but it's also not worth you making a big deal out of it. Whatever we may think about the penalty the school chose to impose, it's not like your daughter was expelled. She did do something wrong, and the suspension ought to be a wake-up call for her. You should (in private) express your concerns to the school principal, but your daughter needs to be insulated from your personal feelings about the suspension or else it will do her no good.

Answer 11

hun its not about the shirt  its what she wrote. your kid is a bully, she wrote a rude and insulting name on this childs clothes.

how   would you feel if someone wrote loser on your shirt. or on your child's  shirt it would hurt. very badly teach your child how to treat and speak to others the punishment fits the crime

Answer 12

That's a little ridiculous. While I'm supportive of strict punishment for discipline problems, I also think they need to pick their battles a little more wisely. They can easily black it out with a maker, have her apologize to the kid, get an afternoon of detention, and be done with it.

Answer 13

Yes, that is logical thinking and seems like an appropriate solution.  

Also, talk to your daughter about how she would feel if the word "loser" was written on her T-shirt by another child.  

The schools take bullying and teasing very seriously these days.  Perhaps that is why the punishment was so harsh.

Answer 14

I think your punishment sounds fair, but it's up to the principal and vice principal to decide what is appropriate. Whatever they say goes, ultimately. As a teacher, I know that situations like this come into play often. It's also quite possible that the disclaimer was made saying that the shirts needed to be written on using school appropriate language. Talk it over with the principal before saying anything rash. Good luck!