Do you think this is any good?

Question

What Will I Do

What will I do when you are not here?

Will I ever be okay?

How will I ever stop all these tears?

How will I get through the day?

Will I ever get used to being with out you?

Could it ever be routine?

Can this sad thing really be true?

On whose shoulder will I lean?

To whom will I run to make it alright?

And, how will I know how to smile?

How will I get to sleep late at night,

When I need you to hold me awhile?

How will I live when my life moves away;

When my everything is gone?

How can you leave when I need you to stay?

How can my life go on?

Answer 1

I do like how every line is a question, but the ABAB format truly has been done to death. =\ Sometimes I even find sonnets sounding dull because they use that very format. o_o

Truly though, if you really want to use it I recommend finding better, more flowing and more emotional ways to rhyme them.

While the poem does sound juvenile in a good way, it also seems so in a bad way. In a good way it helps the reader understand the writer more... though it also seems thrown together without much regard toward WHO is speaking. =\

It has potential, just unlock it. =)

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

I really like it! Especially how you rhyme every other line-- that makes it sound cool when you read it out loud :-P It also has a lot of emotion which is always a good thing with poetry.

Good work!