Do you think this is good enough

Question

to enter into a high school poetry competition? (im 14/15 - in yr 10)

Title - Free Falling

Sometimes I feel so hollow, like the sun will never shine

Trapped in my chamber of mercy, I leave the world behind

I lay upon my bed and cry, my tear drops bound with fear

I look around for hint of life and realise no one’s near

The nights they roll past faster now, the months more of a haze

I turn away my best friends’ smiles, my mothers caring gaze

I trap myself inside my head, slowly going mad

Caught in a tarn of metaphors, I’m empty filled with bad

Help me, please – I’m slipping, help me please I cry

My eyes burst open fearful; they look up to the sky

I’m grabbed and lifted from my darkness; the sun is out, my sign

Life is what you make it. I’m taking it – it’s my time to shine.

p.s. - what did you think about it?

p.s.s. its originalby the way - no plagerism used

Answer 1

man, this poem is driving me to drink!

Answer 2

Wow.  I think it is really good.  I like how it started dark and then became positive.  And I like how you started with the sun and being hopeless and ended with the sun and being hopeful.

I say yes.

Answer 3

wow, that's beautiful, really no joke.

that's excactly how i feel, so this poem made me cry!

*wipes away a tear*

good luck, i really hope you win!

Kenz-x*x

Answer 4

That is a really REALLY good poem.  I think you should definitely enter the poem contest!!!  And if you can't... see if you can get it published!  

Answer 5

I think it should be just  It's mine instead of my time to shine.  It is really deep I can see your pain what a brilliant poem!