Do you think this is this wrong?

Question

I have a little girl who's 3 & a half years old. i fell pregnant when i was 19 & got married, my husband had an affair & we are now divorced. I have since met a wonderful man, we are living together(in my house) & we have been together for over a year & are very happy. about 2 months ago i thought i might be preg & i was a bit worried about how he would feel.. but he told me that if i was then it was meant to be & we will make it work. now i cant stop thinking about it & want to have one.. i want my kids to be relatively close in age & even if i fell preg 2day they would already be 4 & a half years apart.. I really think my little girl would just love having a baby bro or sis.. i just don't know, i'm so torn because i want to be in a place where i can really enjoy my next baby & take a year off work .. but i can't do that now & then there's the baby out of wedlock thing, my dad is a pastor & was absolutely shattered the first time.. what do you think about all this? should i put it off till there's a ring or should we go ahead?

Answer 1

I think you should wait until you marry him.  

Answer 2

no,the pastors daughter did well

Answer 3

Wait for this man to propose.  THE things you mentioned are MORE important than kids close together.

LOL, MY kids are 13 years apart!  Each child was given UNdivided attention, and there is something SOOOOOO nice about NOT dividing time.

Plus, YOUR man deserves to have YOU as is, so that you may dedicate the right amount of time to YOUR relationship with him.  He sounds like a great guy.

Answer 4

to be honest, men still cheat and leave when there is a ring involved so i wouldnt wait if you think you are ready to have another child

Answer 5

Your father is a pastor and he is ok with you guys living together without getting married?  He has to know that you guys are intimate, and that no birth control is 100% effective.

Only you and your partner can decide when to have a baby.  I would really suggest getting married first, and then talking about having another baby.   Good luck.

Answer 6

put off until there's a ring:]

you dont want him to leave you

SO GET MARRIED(:

then have a baby after that.

like the night of yalls hunny moon dont use a condom(:

Answer 7

Marriage doesn't always mean forever. Children are forever. When the Lord thinks your ready he will bless you with one. Don't rush and good luck.

Answer 8

Hi,

First thing you'll never know if your 3 year old want to have a baby.

She really can't grasp the concept of what you mean. She dosent know that all the attention will no loner be on her.

Second you know that as a mother what you want and what your family is ready for is two different things.

You have to concider all the things that will be involved with a second child it's not as easy as you might think.

Answer 9

Even though a new baby would be lovely it sounds as though putting it off for a while might be the thing to do as your bf said he would "make it work" if you happened to be preg and not that he wanted to be trying to get pregnant atm. I'm sure your daughter will be a great big sister at 4 or 6 or 7 years age difference. Good Luck with whatever decision you both make.  

Answer 10

In one breath you're wondering if he'd stay with you if you became pregnant, in the next breath you're thinking of planning a baby with him.

Why not wait until you really know this man, enough that his motives and goals are as clear as can be.   If you're meant to be together a few years between kids is worth the peace of mind and proper start in life for your future children.

Answer 11

I say get Married then think about a 2nd Baby. Not Before.

Answer 12

I believe that is a decision you and your partner has to make. I personally don't think it is wrong to have a baby out of wed lock as long as both parents are on the same page, committed to the relationship, and financially stable. It will also depend on your morals as well I think. You'll have to weigh out the positives and negatives. I understand that you want to have your kids be close in age. I have a 7 year old and a baby due in 3 weeks. However, sometimes waiting may be the better option.

Overall, do what you feel is best for your situation, not what you think your family, friends, or anyone else will think. I wish you luck!  

Answer 13

i would wait til you can afford to take the time off as you never get these years back you can wait another year or two get married and save money in that time this would allow you to plan this proper;y and enjoy your new baby properly