Do you think this is weird behaviour from my son?

Question

My husband works away and isn't home in spaces of 8 weeks so I sleep alone in bed. About every other night my son will get up and say that he's lonely and wants to come in bed with me and when he's there he'll hold me really tight. Sometimes he succeeds in getting into bed without me even noticing.

Do you think this is abnormal?

He's 7 by the way.

Answer 1

No thats normal. My little sister slept with my mum until she was about 10. He probably just feels insecure because his dad is away. Perhaps he thinks you might leave too so he just wants to hold you close-to make sure you aren't going  anywhere. He clearly loves you very much and cares a great deal about you, thats a good thing. He just needs his mummy-theres nothing strange about that. I still need my mum all the time-don't know what I'd do without her!

Answer 2

i think that is because he knows that his dad is gone and that he wants to be close to you and make sure that you are safe, he's prob just trying to me the man of the house while dad is away. its okay, don't worry about it, he's only 7 so he prob just needs some extra attention

Answer 3

By age 4 you should have weened him out of that. It does become a problem socially for the child if he is too attached and needs to be cuddled at every moment. Does your bedroom door have a lock?

Answer 4

No, I think he just likes the comfort and security he feels with you.  Take this time to tell him how much you love him and give him a big hug.  I think it is sweet and important for him to feel safe with his dad away.  It shows that he is bonded with you and needs you.  If it makes you uncomfortable, maybe when you are aware that he is coming into bed with you, you can take him back to his room to read a story or get him a special stuffed animal or something.  I work at night and I bought my boy a really soft monkey that works with an mp3 player.  I hugged the toy and gave it a kiss and told him that it now carries all of my love for him in it and now he sleeps with it while I am gone.  It makes him feel better and drowns out outside noises so it is easier for him to fall asleep and stay asleep, plus he looks so sweet sleeping with it when I get home.  Different things work for different children, so if that doesn't match his personality, you may find something that will work for you.

Answer 5

my little girl is 5 and is the same when i am away (and sometimes when i am here).....would like a solution but i think they will eventually grow out of it

Answer 6

no.  he's only seven.  let him sleep with you.  i remember those days...my son would grab hold of my hair for the extra comfort.  he may feel he is protecting you since daddy is away.  just enjoy it!

Answer 7

Sounds like he's afraid that you will disappear for long periods of time, too.  That's probably why he holds onto you so tightly, he's afraid and can't imagine what he'd do.  Odviously he misses his father and feels insecure so he comes and sleeps with you.  Sometimes you need to tune into your children and their behaviors, it's mostly common sense.  Talk to your child and assure him and his self esteem.

Answer 8

No way. My son is 11 and he still comes into bed with me and my partner. If his father is away, he is gonna probably felt lonely.

Rosanna

Answer 9

This is very normal!!! All kids feel safer when there dad is home. He is probably very lonely and maybe a little scared all by himself. He is only 7 and he still needs you more than you think. He feels safer when he sleeps with you which is only normal for a 7 year old. This will change over time. I was the same way when my dad was gone and I was about 7 myself. This is not weird at all!!! And anyways enjoy it while it lasts because you'll think back about these times when he is a grown man.  It won't last for ever. He is growing up!

I hope this helps!!! =)*

Answer 10

No. It's age appropriate and it will be over far too soon. Enjoy the snuggle becuase it won't last.

I'd worry if he was 17 and still doing it.

Answer 11

No, I don't think it's abnormal, he's just a little boy looking for a bit of extra attention.

He maybe also realises that a lot of his friends' fathers are at home almost every night so maybe he feels a little different from other boys at school.

Answer 12

Ahh thats not abnormal thats sweet,

he misses his dad and probably thinks your lonely without him so wants to make you feel better.

Don't worry :)

Answer 13

No way its totally normal especially as your husbands always leaving he just wants to hold on to you, everychild i know does it.

Answer 14

7 years Old is young so he might not even understand what he's doing. i think he just wants some attention of you intill your husband gets back, just some free time for you and your son.

Answer 15

However 'abnormal' you might view this, you must understand that, as your son, of course he is going to want to cuddle his mother, especially as he says he feels lonely.

I would not be too disturbed by this, as it is human nature to want to be close to their parents.

So don't worry too much about it.

Answer 16

No, he just loves you. But if this becomes a problem for you, then I suggest giving him a confort object to sleep with so he won't be lonely.

Answer 17

No,my 7 year old son is the same when my partner is working nights,and still likes a cuddle in the morning when we get up nothing wrong with it at all x

Answer 18

Appreciate it while it lasts

Answer 19

Thats not abnormal at all.

I am a 15 year old girl, and whenever I go to visit my mum, who i barley ever see, considering i live away from her. I lay in bed with her sometimes, or just cuddle her on the lounge whilst she watches movies.

Its clear that your son is lonely, Im assuming he really misses his dad. Or perhaps he realises you may be lonely also, seeing as though it sounds your husband is rarely there and he is just trying to comfort you

Answer 20

I think this because his dad is away so much. That's his way of expressing his insecurities. It might help to set aside extra time for him to get some undivided attention from you. Also, give him a chance to voice his feelings about his dad having to be away. When my son starts to get needy and wanting to sleep with me I play with him more and allow him to  talk about how he feels, then he goes back into sleeping in his room again.  Hope this helps :-)

Answer 21

Yes it is normal. I still like to sleep with my parents and I am 12. Its just something I grew up doing. I dont do it anymore though but sometimes when I get scared I do. I think he just wants to be with you and its fine. I hope this helped.

-Tara

Answer 22

Probably he feels that since his dad is not their he needs you more and feels more safe in your bed and shows you how much he loves you when he holds you really tight

Answer 23

That is not abnormal.  He is just a child who wants to be close to you.  That is sweet.  None of my four boys did that, but that's probably because there was no room in our bed with me and my husband in it!

Answer 24

I think it is normal if his father is away from home for several weeks at a time.  He should be growing out of it soon, so enjoy it while it lasts!

Answer 25

many parents think this is weird but i can guarantee you that its not.

surprisingly, many children do this. for many different reasons, perhaps your son is lonely by himself?

he will grow out of it, i can assure you he will. if you dont like this habit, encourage him to go to his own bed,

Answer 26

no i dont, think its weid ive seen it on progammes like tiny house  

of tearaway and supernanny but u should put a stop to it before it gets worse.

Answer 27

I'm assuming it's all innocent - in which case he's lonely with his dad away and just wants a cuddle.

Answer 28

I don't think so, im 19 and i still go lie with my mum in her bed sometimes and just talk abt stuff . I do this when i feel low and need some cheering up.

I think its pretty normal and innocent

Answer 29

He's expressing anxiety for the absence of his dad.

It's normal for him to want to be near you when the world gets dark but it's best to encourage him to sleep in his own bed.

Perhaps your husband can record his voice reading some stories or singing some bedtime songs for your son to listen to at bedtime. This could be like having a little bit of his dad still home.

Answer 30

It's a little werid. He's probally just wanting more time with you. You want to put him right back in his bed. My brother did this with my Father and Step-Mother and sleep in their room till he was 10!

Answer 31

It's not weird, i'm 15 but  i always liked sleeping with my mom at that age. not every night, i did a couple times every couple of weeks. i stopped when i got alittle older.. just let him sometimes,  not all the time though.