Do you think this punishment is fair, from a school?

Question

There is a boy in the 8th grade that constantly says nasty, sexual things about other 8th grader's moms. On a field trip yesterday this boy made a sexual comment about me to my son and my son punched him in the mouth. Both kids are suspended for 3 days but their end of the year trip to Washington D.C is taken too (for both boys). The school knows about these comments....they are not new. I agree with the suspension but the trip???? What do you think????

Answer 1

the suspention would be punishment enough. taking the trip away also is going 2 far.

Answer 2

I think it was justified on the schools part to keep both boys from the trip. Lets be honest, is staying at home and missing school really a punishment to the average 8th grader? Keeping the boys from the trip will teach both boys that their behavior is not acceptable and will be punished.

If they allow your child to go on the trip, then they will also have to allow the other child(it doesn't sound as if you are advocating that both boys go, just your son).

I think your son should be punished for physically hurting another person. There is no excuse for physically assaulting someone. Most of us learn by grammar school the saying stick and stones. I suggest you take these days to teach your child restraint. If he wasn't a child he would have been brought up on charges of battery, it wouldn't matter what the other person said.

I cannot believe people are saying your son was in the right, and was justified in taking matters into his own hands(no wonder children are like they are today. There is no instilling them with responsibility and consequence, the fault is always someone elses) Let him take this lesson, and next time he will think ahead instead of acting on impulse.

Answer 3

the kid was an a** he deserved it!  i dont think its fair at all.  i can see the suspention but taking away the trip?  wtf is wrong with them?  your son was just defending you.  i dont see anything wrong with that.

Answer 4

Your son should not have been punished at all. He was right to defend your honor. The other boy should be barred from any social activities at school until he learns to respect women.

Answer 5

The school is suppose to follow their own disclipline policy. Get it and see what is says they are suppose to do in your situation. If taking away a trip is not in this policy, they can not do this. I would call them on this and if it doesn't work, go to the district superintendent.

Answer 6

I would speak with the school and have more information about what the young man was saying and how long the school has known there is a problem.

If the principal didn't relent I would speak to the school district/school board. I would tell them I understand that violence is wrong but no child can be expected to have the same amount of restraint as an adult. It is unreasonable to expect a boy your son's age to put up with repeated vulgar sexual comments about his mother.

Ask them if they would have liked hearing someone talk about THEIR mother that way at the same age.

Go along with the suspension, but the trip should be allowed.

Good luck---

Answer 7

Oh man.. I don't know.....I think that the suspension was enough......But I think that the other boy (the one saying nasty comments) should have been dealt with before your son hit him especially since this an on going issue!

Answer 8

Yeah, I agree with you, here. And I would've done the same thing if I was your son. And I also, like you, agree with the suspension for both boys, but the end of the year trip might be too much of a punishment for that sort of thing. I might sit down with the principal and talk this out, see if you can convince him to let your son go on the trip.

Answer 9

Yes, I agree with both.

If I were you, I would be in contact with that boy's mother, just so she's clear what's going on.

Answer 10

If the school knew this boy was making sexual comments and did nothing about it I would contact the school board. I don't agree with the punishments at all. If your son knew that this boy would get away with saying what he said even if you son told someone who can blame him for taking matters into his own hands. I think that if the school had to do something to your son a 1 day in-school suspension would be plenty. The other boy definately got what he deserved but someone should be looking into the school turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to a student guilty of repeated sexual harrasment. I would absolutely contact the school board or the school board ethics commitee.

Answer 11

Suspension yes.

Answer 12

they school probably has a no tolerance rule

Answer 13

What got me about your question is that the other boy used verbal force but your son then used physical force.  Was that really necessary?  It's one thing to say stupid, hurtful things but quite another to act physically to provocation.  I think both show bad judgement and perhaps need to grow up and mature (which isn't going to happen overnight) before being allowed on a trip away from home.  Perhaps your son needs more guidelines on the proper way to handle adversity.  Is he going to punch his employers in the mouth if they are rude?  I hope he has taught this other kid a lesson though, on respect, because it would seem the school has obviously done a miserable job at it.  But that's schools for you.

Answer 14

I say dont let him go on the trip treat him how he acts like a little boy  im sure there are to many other kids to look after then to worry about wat dat little boy might do or say

Answer 15

Huh? Your son is punished too? how stupid.. Ok so he should be suspended for a couple of days to learn his lesson, but only the guy making sexual remarks should be banned from the end of the year event.. Thats unfair, you should talk to the principal.. If I were your son, that other kid would be in a coma.

Answer 16

personally, it would be important to me that my kid didn't respond to verbal taunting with physical violence.  i would support the school in both disciplinary methods.  while the trip exclusion might not have been necessary, it's not totally unreasonable, either.

Answer 17

No, it isn't fair to take away the trip for that.  Maybe you could talk so some other parents and get them to sign a petition or something.

Answer 18

I too agree with the suspension but the kids shouldn't have the trip taken away. Talk with the school board about it.

Answer 19

I think that the suspension was enough but with the punching.....i dont know. Your school should also have a policy you should look into that.

Answer 20

I don't know.... I really think the suspension is enough.  Especially for  your son who hasnt' had any problems in the past (I am assuming).  Maybe they feel like this boy who is making all the comments needs a stiffer punishment and your son just got wrapped up in it.  I would talk to the pricipal if I was you and see if you can get this cleared up... at least, if nothing else, you might come out with a better understanding of why they made the decision they did.

Answer 21

dude, just a saturday det would be enough for that!

Answer 22

I don't think it's blatantly unfair.  You can't physically attack someone and expect to get off easy (granted, I would be surprised if most 8th graders wouldn't respond in the same way).  However, the other boy needs to be taught something about respect and sexual harassment.  I say you march into the principal's office (without your kid) and tell her that the other child's behavior is unacceptable, and you want something done about it NOW.  And, while you're yelling about it, tell them that you expect your child to be allowed to go on that trip, since while his behavior was also inappropriate, he felt the need to protect you, since no one else seems to be interested in doing so.