Do you think this will help?

Question

My boyfriend is very depressed, and when he's depressed, he gets really mean. He's controlling it now, and is always very sweet when he talks to me, because I can't handle it if he is anything less than affectionate because I am so depressed. I really want to help him, but it's so hard because I can't even help myself. He loves photography and music, so do you think it would help if I started making dates revolving around those things to get him doing what he used to love so much??? Is there anything else I can do?? I do all the stupid stuff, like buy him clothes I know he'd love, or bake him brownies, just to let him know I am thinking of him, but I want to do more, even though I am really depressed myself. What else can I do?

Answer 1

That is a great idea. Go to concerts, take a ride and rock out lol. Plan a date somewhere outdoors... (not sure where u live but woods, beach, etc.) so he can take pictures.  It's good that you both find something to do together that you both love. Things to take your mind off of everything else and just focus on each other and make each other happy. It's very sweet of you to wanna do things for him to make him happy.  

Answer 2

You've got problems.

I think it's a great idea to makes dates and go out and do things. That will help bring you both out of it.

AVOID, at all costs, trying to "make him better" or "take care of him." Take it from me, that will only make you worse. Then when he feels better, he will continue to expect this, and you will not feel any better, because WHO IS TAKING CARE OF YOU?

I've been through all that, and now he's all better, and pissy because I'm not bending over backwards to be "loving and nurturing" (I think he just wants me to be his mommy). All this does is make me want to leave.

Answer 3

your boyfriend needs to talk to his doctor, plain and simple.  does he acknowledge he's depressed?  does he want to get help?  those who don't and would rather wallow in self-pity are the hardest to get through to.  if he won't get help, at least talk to someone for yourself.  nothings worse than someone trying to drag someone down with them.  if he really cares about you, he'll get help to help not only himself, but your relationship.  but if not, like i said, get a therapist to help you sort through these emotions.  they can teach you about depression and give you ways to cope with it, and him.  doing material things will only help a tiny bit.  true depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and anti-depressants are needed to correct it.  good luck to you.