Do you think when a person says its hard enough to take care of myself, so I'm not having kids its selfish?

Question

why or why not-

personally its not so much selfish because these days its difficult to balance family life and work life-

not to mention everyone cant have kids or wants kids-

so people just put their career first- rachel ray doesnt have kids and her career is her top priority- oprah too-

is it so much selfish- or is it just them saying they have a lot on their plate-

Answer 1

I think that is a realistic view for some people. Children are not cheap to raise and the economy is not looking so good for everybody. Some people are struggling to take care 1. So why bring a child into the world that you can't afford.

Answer 2

I say it all the time and I am one of the most giving people you will ever meet but children need a lot of attention, care, and things happen.  Having children takes money and in todays world it is important for them to have activities, braces, laptops, cell phones, education, and many other things to help them to be successful adults so trying to take care of yourself as well as them on increasing bills w/out increasing salaries it makes it that much harder.

Some people don't feel that they would be good parents so they pass, it isn't a rule that you have to get married or have children unless you still live in the 70's

I know what you were saying and I was totally agreeing while putting in my additional thoughts ~ I hear ya sista

Answer 3

No.  I think some people shouldn't have kids because they have different goals and priorities.  It would be selfish of them TO have kids because they may not change.  I think if they realize that then more power to them.  That's awesome they realize they're not ready for kids and don't want to s***w up their lives.  I do think some people think that because they're scared but really do want to have kids maybe someday.  And when they do it's the best feeling in the world.  But you have to be really selfless and put their needs before yours 100%.

Answer 4

Not having kids you cannot afford is SMART!

People that drag helpless children into their h**l homes should have their reproductive organs removed.

You might like to live like a rat, does not mean your child should too.

Answer 5

Not at all selfish. I think they are at least being honest. Better to know that about themself than to have the kids and abuse or neglect them, don't you think?

Answer 6

No. They're probably just being logical.  

Answer 7

I don't think that it is selfish at all.

If you make that decision you have to put the child first, they are your reason for living. If you can't do this you shouldn't have kids. If someone puts their career first, it is better that they don't have kids. It's not selfish because there is no kid. (and they have considered the potential kid and decided that it would not be in their interest to be born).

Plus, some people really shouldnt' have kids. Life is hard for a lot of people and difficult enough. Deciding to have kids in certain circumstances is selfish as it is done knowing that that kid will not have a great quality of life.

The interests of the child, potential or actual, should always be paramount.

Answer 8

It is not selfish, because if you love your kids that you don't have yet, why would you bring them into this world? where women don't have to worry about getting raped because its "in" that kids get raped anymore. Men don't have to worry about their wives anymore, but about their kids because most kids get sexually abused. Or if they get ran over, or something, and at the end, you wish that you didn't have kids so that you wouldn't be going through that unecessary sorrow! so not having them actually means that you love them!!!

Answer 9

No it's not selfish to know that you aren't ready, capable or willing to have children.  I appreciate so much more someone who says that, rather than people who have children and are not able to raise them properly.  

Having a children is a choice for each person to make and there's no reason to judge someone for that decision.

Answer 10

not selfish at all.... being a parent is a full time job and if  your not up to it, why put your kids through that

Answer 11

Definitely not. It would be way worse to have kids and then not give them the attention they deserve.

Answer 12

I don't want kids. I've never had any desire to have any. Neither has my husband. We are quite happy with eachother and our careers and social life.  

There's nothing selfish about it, I think it's a bit narrowminded and a little sexist of you to assume that women are selfish to want a career and no kids, god forbid..

Not everyone wants the same things in life. It's normal. Get used to it, it's a diverse world.  

Answer 13

some people were meant to be parents and some not, i think its better knowing what u want in life, what is selfish is people bringing kids into the world and not caring about them.some devote their lives to careers, and some to being parents, its not selfish at all.

Answer 14

I don't think it is selfish what so ever. I think it is very smart & shows the person is giving it a lot of thought.

But, honestly I think everyone in the world has the problem caring just for themselves. lol

Once on Dr. Phil a couple was saying they were waiting till they could afford kids to have them. Dr. Phil said "If everyone waited for that no one would have kids."

Plus it is up each person if they want kids or not. I mean why have kids if you don't want them? When this happens the parent usually doesn't treat the child right, the child FEELS that the parent doesn't want them or didn't want them and so on.

I had a friend in jr high school who knew her mom didn't want her or her sister. It was sad too. This mom didn't want to be a mom so she acted like her daughters. The young teen girls did drugs with their mom, hung out at their mom's parties with strange men and even drug deals. Very sad. This girl had a sad life and often told me she wished her mom never had her if she didn't want her. Or at least given her up for adoption. My friend moved and I have always wondered what happened to her.

It is sad too that the world seems to push it. "When are you and your husband going to have kids?" or "Your clock is ticking! You better hurry up."

I'm a mom of 3 & it is so hard! Parenting is a lot of sacrifice and you have to put your own needs aside. I have multi chronic illness problems  plus I feel God wants us to Homeschool so on top of being a home maker, wife, mom I'm also teaching my kids.

But, I LOVE it! I want to be with my kids & I want them to be with me. They enjoy homeschooling & having mommy be their teacher.

Parenting isn't for everyone. I think it is wrong for people to give into having kids before it is what other think they should do.

So in no way is it selfish to feel you shouldn't have kids because you have enough trouble taking care of yourself.  

Answer 15

That's exactly how I feel at this point in my life....Its not being selfish at all....not everyone was meant to have kids!

Answer 16

i don't think it's selfish at all because some people just don't want to have kids. there are many reasons for this, one being their careers.  

Answer 17

What is selfish about choosing NOT to bring more people into this world?

I think it's very UNSELFISH.  I dont understand the point of bringing more people into an insecure world.  

Answer 18

Not selfish at all!

No it is a matter of preference. Why is it such a stipulation for women to have children? Some people push it on people and are to pushy. If someone push it on me I will just rebell.Becasue I am my own person.

If one does not want kids they should not have them plain and simple. I am 40 with NO

kids.2 dogs and a hubby. I love my life! It gives us freedom to enjoy life my career and travel.

Answer 19

no it is not selfish.. so many people have children and can not afford them and who suffers..the child does..so if you feel you can not afford one..or if you would rather not spend the money to support one..than don't..

Answer 20

I'm afraid I've never understood the logic of how someone not having kids is selfish.  Are they somehow suggesting that your only purpose in life is to make babies, and shame on you if you don't fulfill your duties?

Seems to me that it would be more selfish to have kids, and then not properly raise and care for them.

Answer 21

you are okay, don'tr worry about

BUT  s*x,  use contraseptives, get your tubes tied, have the guy always wear a condem  

cause having an abortion for selfish reasons suck

Answer 22

No, it's not selfish if you put it that way ("...its hard enough to take care of myself...'). However, it would seem that that person is afraid of having kids because they're afraid of the responsibility that comes with it.

But if you say that you don't want to have kids because you'd like to put your career and personal interests first, then I guess that would be selfish (if you're married and your husband wants to start a family). Why? Simply because you're just thinking of yourself.